On Purpose

Good afternoon (or morning, or evening, from wherever you are reading) and welcome back to my newsletter! I hope you all had a lovely week and are feeling rested and confident heading into this one. I had a birthday over the weekend and this time of year for me always adds another layer of tint to my already rose-colored glasses. The bittersweet nostalgia of reflecting on all that has gotten us to where we are along with the timid excitement for what is to come that swirls into the mix renders a complex cocktail of thoughts and emotions. This leaves me in a sentimental afterglow, and I really want to thank you as always for reading what I have to say. As we progress on our theoretical quest I hope to have created an ambience of comfort as your guide. Some of the terrain I am treading is new to me as well even as the leader of the conversation and I want to continue to encourage a sense of safety and curiosity in my readers.

It is now the third week of this series set and we have come to an understanding that in the first 2 Stages of life we as living beings have the exquisite vulnerability of becoming products of our environment perhaps more-so than the latter Stages, and for better or for worse. Where for worse is true, utilizing the model it is possible to speculate that abandonment and/or shaming occurred during this crucial age range. If we begin to identify these struggles towards Trust and Autonomy in ourselves and others where they present, access to Hope and Will as abstract notions for internal support and inspiration may be realized and utilized to further ourselves as enlightened humans. It is my intention that relating the Erikson Stage to Dante's Circles will aid in the ease of identification of behaviors that are clues to pinpointing and even solving the unresolved Crisis. As these Crises and Virtues are seemingly Universal, the language of behavior is as well.

The third Stage encompasses the Crisis of Initiative versus Guilt and the resulting development of Purpose while the third Circle contains those coined "Gluttonous", hence the "let them eat cake" imagery I chose for this week wrought with fluffy icing and French filigree. This sticky layer of Hell boasts an icy climate, think "Wintery Mix" on The Weather Channel and all the sludgy ambiguity. Where in the previous two Circles Dante name drops some of history's most famous, this Circle he focuses less on the specifics of the damned and more-so points a finger at the city of Florence as a whole. The words power hungry come to mind, and it is not hard to associate really any political machine as being somewhat insatiable.

Coming along at the ages of 3-5 in the Erikson parallel, this may be the formative period where a child can learn to harmonize with their appetites for food and attention. Imagine the classic scenario of a child addicted to sweets who throws a tantrum until they get their way. Then imagine this person as an adult. They may become an introverted food addict or an extroverted tyrant, both slaves to their appetites however material or immaterial, unsure of their Purpose beyond this base need. Attempts to satisfy and self-regulate can be tenuous, and it makes sense to anyone who has ever felt Guilt that it is like a gnawing hunger itself, and sometimes it may feel like the only way to combat the Guilt from a certain act seems to be the act itself, i.e. overeating, or behaving tyrannically, etc. Stuck in the rat brain, history is doomed to repeat itself.

As Health Coach, the point of my analytical writing is to sharpen my optimism and provide possible solutions. The intervention I can see fitting in dealing with Stage 3 Circle 3 behavior here would be that if you can sense someone is on the verge of a metabolic meltdown or acting like a tyrannical toddler, offer a little sympathy. Regressive behavior is common when we are unsure of our Purpose and left with a craving for just that. In our interpersonal lives that oscillate from home to work, beyond and back again, I invite you to make it a point to be specific and intentional in the way you communicate with those around you and that you both 1) notice what it is that a person brings to the table i.e. skill sets, personality traits as well as 2) learn how to effectively express you appreciation for this person. This can applied to yourself if this is the case.

In my experience we all seem to have emotional voids to fill that have both a fixed and a fluid constitution through time. An understanding of our roles in relationships and in societal constructs may be crucial when we are making the decisions as to what the fill the voids with. Reinforcement of positive attributes by our peers teaches us that we can make decisions that we don't have to feel bad about later so that what remains are only the healthy cyclic behaviors, and the rest is revolution.