Punting comedian in Cambridge

We arrive at the four-star hotel Gonville. It’s a strange name but goes back to a local university in the fourteen hundreds. Outside of the well-located hotel, within walking distance of all you need to see in Cambridge, there are two old Bentley cars from the 1950s era. The driver or should I say chauffeur is Zane, he has worked for the rich and famous, many in the Monte Carlo area.

"Anything between here and here," Zane says as he opens his arms in a V-shape, "is all that’s worth seeing in Cambridge". He then moves his body to the right and says “Between here and here is not worth going to unless you like charity shops". Ironically, every time I visit the UK, I go to charity shops. Not for clothing, but for old LP records for a friend who is a collector and a mega music nut.

There is "Donkey Common" and "Parker’s Piece" in front of the hotel. Zane points to the hotel on the opposite side of the green, which suffered a majorly suspicious fire during a refit. The story goes on to say that even the fire engine near the green didn’t get there too quickly. I heard a similar story ten days earlier in Serbia, about the Hotel Staroz Danje, which was an attempt to get a major insurance claim by the new owner, having set light to it by himself.

The four of us on this tour make a short list of things to see and do in Cambridge. Punting comes up as number one, as well as walking the city, universities, churches, fine restaurants and museums a plenty.

3500 plus years of history, Roman fort burials, Vikings - Saxon - Norman remains, and a 1068 castle built by William the conqueror in a town chartered by Henry 1131 - Bede said, "the town was a ruined city" in the 7th century.

During its history Cambridge has founded 1200 universities; many of those that have survived are seen from our water-punting trip. The town was hit by the Black Death and in the English civil war royalists nearly took control of the town. In 1951 the "city" status is awarded but there are no cathedrals.

Our hotel rooms are about 300 pounds a night each (too many rich parents visiting to check if the kids are actually studying) Then the hotel charges a 25-pound fee per 24 hours for parking your car, they have lots of dam spaces.

The Whinging Pome Random Rule No. 253: “It’s good to know when you are being taken for a ride, think of it as a learning experience"

We walk around town, looking into all the front yards of famous universities and getting into an array of churches. Some in which it’s encouraging to see other activities in these beautiful buildings. e.g. Mini music events and drama performances.

We are soon by the river, although it would be called a stream in many countries. There is a big desire by all four of us to have a punt trip down the "stream". It’s 50 pounds each for an hour, think the punt looks only worth 400 pounds. We climb aboard. Alex the comedian punter rabbits on about the history of Cambridge, what famous people lived there and incidents that took place around the waterfront.

Between numerous comments and observations, our punt man, Alex, makes it clear that he is not a student and has worked the punts for over seven years. He believes most students are loaded and don’t need to work. More on that subject later. There are 25 bridges in Cambridge and we go under most with a running commentary including more one-liners, Alex has a big smile and a witty line for every female we pass. He looks a bit like Ed Sheeran but with a touch of Irish blood. I don’t have the looks but some Irish blood. Generations of my family have been in deep denial of the Irish connection.

Cambridge is blessed with numerous museums. The first and most important to me is the Scots research memorial museum. It presents true stories and photos of the travels and heroes we all read about as children; Scott and Shackleton being two of my favourite heroes. A few months after arriving from South Africa to England in the early seventies my dad promised me a day in London. We walked the Thames embankment and we went on the HMS Belfast but the highlight was going on the sailing ship Discovery of Scott’s epic journeys.

Cambridge is a bike city so crossing the road has to be done with great care. Back at the hotel, Zane offers us a one-hour ride in the 1953 Bentley. So, the following day we drive around beautiful villages?like Trumpington with the fantastic English countryside. Zane says there's a place he likes to take people to but it is a bit sensitive and some people say no to his offer. It’s the biggest American war cemetery in Europe. I can’t believe it! It’s my dream visit and I’ve seen the signs on the M11 over 100 times as I’ve been thundering up and down from north to south England. Always been in a rush or with people who would not want a diversion. In a story called "Bentley to Cambridge American Cemetery" I detail the visit to this amazing cemetery and place of remembrance. Stay tuned for it!

We leave Cambridge, having had a great time in a high-quality hotel, lots of surprises, the Bentley, the comedian, amazing properties, beautiful streets and lots of fine dining; our favourite being 'The Ivy'.

So, the next trip is to Oxford! The last time I was there my sister would sneak me into her university campus. It was summer and hundreds of young Italian ladies were there for six weeks all wanting to learn English. No further information can be supplied, use your imagination.

Grazie.