Pumpkin, Button, and four books of urban essays...

I mentioned my books of short essays to an acquaintance the other day.?

We were sitting in a local coffee shop staring at the cool dregs of two double espressos.?

She gave me the kind of look that commonly goes hand in hand with a bad case of memory loss. Then she stuttered as the part of her brain normally associated with speech metaphorically slipped out the back door and went for a quick smoke.

“Um…um…but you don’t have any books of essays,” she said. “Um…um…I don’t suppose you have any cigarettes on you, by any chance,” she said. “Anything low tar will do.”

“Cigarettes? Those damned things will put you in the ground. They’ll never catch on,” I said. “Here... try one of these.”?

I reached down, fumbled around in the contents of my khaki canvas messenger bag, propped up against a leg of my chair, and brought out a copy of my book Ad Lib. Slapped it on the table next to her espresso cup and saucer.?

Her eyes widened in recognition.?

I reached back down, did a bit more fumbling, and brought up a copy of my book Ad Hoc.?

Slapped it on top of Ad Lib.

Her eyes widened a bit more and a slight “Oh” escaped her lips as the penny began to drop.?

Then I reached down again and brought up a copy of my other book Ad Infinitum.?

Plonked it down on top of Ad Hoc.?

The penny hit ground zero.

A couple on the next table was taking notice of the growing pile. She nudged him, he opened his bag and brought out his own well-thumbed copy of Ad Lib.

She nudged him again as I dived into my messenger bag and brought out a copy of my latest book Ad Interruptus.?

Our table was now beginning to look like a mini book shop.

“Hang on…you mean they’re books of essays?” said my acquaintance, rapidly blinking and looking around for an espresso refill. “I thought they were just your books of short stories,” she added, almost dismissively. “Whatever urban essays are, I think I like the sound of them,” she said.?

As if by magic, her refill arrived and she quickly took a gulp.?

“Potato tomato,” I said.

“Eh?”

“What you call short stories are, more accurately, termed my urban essays. With nobs on.”

“Urban what?”

“Essays,” I repeated. “Books full of five-minute stories about advertising, humour, life, society, politics, people, and everything in between. Perfect to dip in and out over a nice espresso…or cappuccino…or something stronger. Start where you want…finish when you want,” I said.?

The couple on the next table smiled at each other. Then he opened his copy of Ad Lib, leaned over to our table, held out his copy, and said: “Would you sign my copy of your urban essays for me??

“Sure,” I said, reaching into my jacket inside pocket and bringing out a black, fine nib, pentel pen and giving the inside cover my best squiggle.

“This is our first ever book of your urban essays,” he said. “Could you make it out to Pumpkin and Button?”?

“Which is which,” I asked, looking from him to her.

A pair of smiles was the only reply.?

I handed the book back, and looked at my acquaintance, who was beaming all over her face.?

“Urban essays, eh?” she said. “I think you just made up a new genre.”

The couple next table got up and walked out of the coffee shop, he clutching his copy of Ad Lib and she clutching his left hand.?

Two large espressos appeared on our table as if by magic. And a soft, feminine voice whispered in my ear.

“Urban essays, eh? That might just catch on”

“Unlike cigarettes,” I said…

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You've just read an extract from my unfinished book of urban essays Ad Astra.

All my published books are available separately from those nice people at Amazon…right here.

(Urban Essays):

Ad Interruptus:?https://amzn.to/3AmkfjQ

Ad Infinitum:?https://amzn.to/3pof7Uq

Ad Lib:?https://amzn.to/2kd4LKf.

Ad Hoc:?https://amzn.to/2Nx8GL8

(Urban Romance)

Love & Coffee:?https://amzn.to/28IWaHq

(Humorous Science Fantasy)

Heaven Help Us:?https://amzn.to/2nkQ1Jk

Or…you can pop along to my new website at?brycemain.co.uk?and have a sneaky peek at them all together in the one place.

And choose one for 2023...