The Public Speaking Secret Sauce: Present with confidence & deliver memorable experiences
Why is speaking in public so goddamn terrifying?!
Even the thought of it is enough to turn some people into a dribbling mess.?
I’d like you to imagine right now that your phone rings and you’re asked to do an impromptu presentation to the board this afternoon about the key activities you and your team are working on this quarter. Just sit and imagine that phone call for a moment. How does it make you feel?
Is your brain in overdrive thinking, “What the hell am I going to say” and “Why the @?!% do I have to do this?!”
You’re experiencing all these things, and nothing has even happened. Just the thought of it has put you into fight or flight mode and produced a physical response.
That’s how powerful the mind is - and how much of a role it plays when it comes to speaking in public.
In my experience, mastering your mindset is the most important thing you can do to increase your confidence for presenting. Or indeed networking, talking with your team or even going on dates!
The key ingredient that is often missing when people speak in public and present
I’ve seen people who have trained their arses off in the craft of speaking - they pause for dramatic effect, raise their hand to influence the audience to engage, project their voice to hold attention and display confidence, etc etc - but they’ve still struggled to truly connect with their audiences because they’re not being truly authentic. That’s not to say these techniques are not useful by the way, I’m just saying they need to be paired with authenticity in order to have real impact.
Honestly, some of the best speakers I’ve seen have been completely unpolished. They’ve even made mistakes, forgotten what they wanted to say and been visibly terrified - but they spoke from the heart. They were real. And as a result I connected with them and their story so much more, and subsequently took so much more from the experience.
Isn’t that what public speaking and presenting is about? Delivering a message and as much value as possible? Well you just can’t do that if you don’t connect with the audience. You need their trust and you need them to buy into you. You don’t even need them to buy into what you’re saying - that will come once they believe in you. And that comes by being authentic.
I used to be one of those polished speakers by the way. When stepping out on stage or in front of the camera I’d adopt the persona of “Professional Laura”. I’d work my arse off to make sure I could get everything perfect and do everything as a speaker “should”. I don’t even want to think about how many hours of my life I’ve lost recording videos over and over again, trying to get them 100% perfect…I probably could have made a few feature movies in that time - and be living the dream in a multi-million dollar mansion somewhere!!?
But as I worked more on myself and got more comfortable with who I really am, my priorities started to shift. I realised that my audience don’t want me to be perfect, they want me to be me. Yes of course they also want me to say some helpful shit, but by being authentic I take down any potential barriers before they’re built and allow the audience to be more open and receptive to what I’m delivering…therefore they get a whole lot more out of it and can enjoy a full experience.
So now if I forget what I’m talking about, make a mistake or get a little sweaty on my upper lip - I just acknowledge it and carry on. And people LOVE that! Because it shows my human side and makes them feel even more comfortable and able to connect.
Anyway - I think you get the point by now of how important authenticity is when speaking and presenting!
How to be authentic when speaking and presenting
So let’s talk about some ways you can achieve that, and in doing so build your confidence and deliver a memorable experience.
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1. Stop making it about you
Usually the nerves show up as a result of our thoughts and fears around not being good enough and being rejected. We become so consumed with worries about how people will respond to us, it sends our fight or flight mode into overdrive - because it thinks something bad is happening, so it wants to protect us.
Taking the spotlight away from you and shining it onto the audience however, distracts the brain from these fears and helps to mitigate the thoughts and therefore response. So the trick is to switch your focus to things like:
By asking questions like these, you’re also forcing the logical part of your brain to work, which also helps to get you out of your fight or flight emotional brain.
By changing where you think you can change how you think.
2. Calm the heck down
I’m not denying that speaking in front of people can be scary. If I said you could completely take away your nerves I’d be lying. But what you can do is change the way you respond to them, by physically calming your body and getting yourself out of fight or flight mode.
As mentioned above, this means you then operate from your logical brain, rather than the emotional one, so you’re able to get a better perspective on situations, manage thoughts more appropriately and feel more secure to let the real you come out to play.
Easy ways to calm yourself include:
The ideal scenario is of course to do these things daily (along with a host of other simple things that make you feel happy and content), so you can build up a bank of calm and make showing up authentically your natural way of being.
Change like this doesn’t happen overnight - you must be consistent and use repetition to allow your brain time to form new neural pathways, so it starts to believe that you are indeed good enough just as you are, and that this scenario of speaking in front of people doesn’t put your life in danger.
3. Remember why you’re speaking and what it will allow you to achieve
The more you become consumed with the current situation, the more your thoughts, fears and nerves will be supersized. Imagine if you were driving your car and you only looked directly down in front of you - it wouldn’t end well would it!
It’s the same in this situation - by looking forward to where you’re heading it allows you to keep going (without crashing!!) And it allows you to navigate any roadblocks or challenges that may come up along the way. Again, imagine you’re in your car and the road you want to take is closed. You wouldn’t just turn around and go home or curl up in the middle of the road in a big ball of anxiety - you’d find an alternative route, because you’re focused on getting to your destination.
So by focusing on your destination - that is, what’s fundamentally important to you and what you’re ultimately striving for - it will help to keep driving you forward through the uncomfortablenes and around the roadblocks, because you’ll realise that the long-term gain is indeed far more important than the short-term pain.
An important point about creating change
Now before I leave you, I’d just like to remind you that change takes time. So please don’t expect to employ these strategies and be able to show up fully authentically straight away. You must repeat it many times so your brain can form new neural pathways and make authenticity your natural way of being. So patience and consistency are the aim of the game here.?
I’d love to hear how you go, so please feel free to shoot me a message! And of course if you need help to accelerate the process we can chat about that too. My “Steal the Show” coaching programs and workshops teach you how to leverage your mindset and physiology so you can indeed present clearly, confidently and most importantly - authentically.