Public Speaking Gremlins

I care about the visibility of underrepresented role models to inspire others to be what they cannot see. Sometimes that means getting into the spotlight and doing some public speaking such as a wedding toast, a networking event, even a TED Talk and everything in between. So, If you're curious ?? about getting started OR want to sharpen the saw, then I've pulled together my personal tips that have helped me increase confidence.

Most people’s dream is not to be nervous about public speaking. Viv Gostrop - How to Own the Room

Hi! Public Speaking Gremlins

My first corporate job as a software engineer thrust me into the spotlight in month one, presenting my product at a conference. Apparently, as well as writing code, I had to nail public speaking. I was mortified. Presenting at school was non-existent, and my handful of university presentations included a wobbly voice, shaky hands, and the hope that I would never have to do it again. Holy crap! My public speaking training amounted to comparing myself to others who looked at home in the spotlight, which brought new levels of dry mouth and cracked voice. The first step, calming those anxiety gremlins, came with help from the book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I acknowledged that it was ok to feel fear. The fact that I got myself out there and expanded my comfort zone by doing it anyway meant that I was successful. The more I presented, the more familiar it became. I still feel nervous today, but I know the world does not stop spinning because I tripped over my words in a presentation.

Self-reflection

? How much do you like do public speaking? (0 = I detest it, 10 = I adore it)

? How do you rate your public speaking skills? (0 = Not Great, 10 = Awesome)

? How much do you want to improve? (For example, from a 3 to a 5)

? Why do you want to improve your public speaking skills?

? How often do you do public speaking?

? What opportunities do you have to practice public speaking?

Top 10 Tips

I still remember what it was like to lose the power to get my words out while presenting while blushing and sweating profusely. So I hope you find something here that helps you on your journey to share your story and voice.?

1. Comparing

Stop comparing yourself. If your presentation gremlins give you a hard time telling you how inadequate you are compared to others…take note. These are your inner critics. Replace your inner critics with your kinder sages who whisper words of support. The fact that you are public speaking (or even thinking about public speaking) and pushing out of your comfort zone is incredible. The more real you are, the more likely an audience will connect with you.?Check out Positive Intelligence to identity and then work on calming those inner critics.

2. Stories

Take them on a journey through a story with a maximum of three core messages. People love stories with beginnings, middles, and endings. Having a way for the audience to emotionally connect with your story is powerful. Consider sprinkling in small stories that reinforce your core messages. Zoom in on conclusions so core messages can be reinforced and that the audience knows the presentation is concluding. For example, "And now I want to leave you with these takeaways…"

3. Rehearsals

Know your material inside and out. Rehearse multiple times out loud. If presenting online, then practice with your material online. If presenting to a room, practice standing up and talking aloud. Record it, tweak it. Notice where you stumble over your words and modify or remove them. Practice before a trusted colleague and let them know what you want feedback on. Pick wisely – not everyone knows how to give feedback. Make it clear what you want feedback on and how you like feedback. Practice openings and endings so opening words flow even with the adrenalin rush.

4. Connection

This can be hard to do with your head down reading a script (that's how I started), so if you are new to presenting, you can just work up to this. Don't present with your back to your audience while looking at slides. Look out at the audience and find some supportive faces.?Don't take it personally if someone is disengaged; they might be having a bad day. Build up your comfort levels little by little. One preparation tip I use is loving kindness meditations. Seeing the humanity in front of you can be a helpful way to calm the nerves.The audience are humans with all the messiness of life going on. They are not there to punish or judge you.

5. Anxiety

How you arrive (if you arrive), your expression, your stance and whether you look at the audience will signal whether you want to be there. Notice what you do. Where is your physical or emotional anxiety coming from? This is the most critical I work on to continue getting out on the stage. Think about how you can build up outward and inward confidence. I love this TedTalk about the impact of anxiety on communication - Speaking up without Freaking out by Matt Abrahams. This is still a work in progress for me.

6. Voice

Your voice is an instrument. The way you use this can transform your impact. Do you deliver talks as fast as possible so you can run off the stage, or do you lose your thoughts part way through because you need to be faster? My pace depends on my nerves and my audience. Have you considered the musicality or pitch of your voice or the power of silence? I have never worked with a voice coach; so I am typically too focused on what I am saying to think about how I am saying it. However, it is worth checking out?How to Speak so that people want to listen to TedTalk ?by Julian Treasure, who highlights the toolbox we can all play with.

7. Timing

If you have an allocated time slot, practice making your presentation fit within the slot, give yourself enough time to breathe, and allow for technical hiccups. I plan my talks with some time to spare. When nerves get the better of me, I can start babbling. So use a stopwatch to time your talks when rehearsing. When you present to an audience, have a friend who can quietly signal the time left in a way that does not disrupt your flow. Holding up a hand to stay 10 mins or 5 mins.

8. Grounding

Develop a grounding toolkit. When you are in the moment and freak out – go to that toolkit. I focus on my feet on the ground. I feel their weight and their contact with the ground. Sometimes I have to hold something in my hand or lean on a podium. Others prefer to move around. Find what works for you to calm the nerves. Also, if you are anxious and share that vulnerability with your audience, this tends to more the dial on kindness and support!

9. Humour

Humour and imperfection are a winning combination. I generally have a little slip-up. I expect it. I call it out at. Audiences connect with vulnerability. So if you trip up or lose your thought – making light of it can get a giggle and have them root for you more.

10. Speak

Find opportunities to speak out in the wild. This might be toasting a friend at a party or volunteering to do a short work presentation. Signal your intention so that opportunities come up. For example, you could participate in an interactive workshop, join Toastmasters, or join a group on a subject you care about and seek opportunities there.

Resources

These resources continue to help me today. I'd love to hear what helps you too if you fancy dropping a note in the comments.

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About Kinkajou Limited

I founded?Kinkajou Limited ?and offer global consulting and coaching services to individuals and organisations to evolve ways of working, leading and collaborating. We seek to maximize the potential of organisations and individuals seeking positive transformation and inclusivity.

About me

I aim to increase diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging in tech and beyond. I've enjoyed 30 years as a tech leader working with amazing teams and building awesome products. My experience includes multiple director positions, program management, product management, coach and mentor, culture change leader, agile transformation leader, process design, customer success process design, workshop facilitation (including?#IamRemarkable ) and employee development programs. If you'd like to chat, please connect with me on?LinkedIn .