Psychopaths Confusing 'Targeting' with 'Motivation' & becoming Public Speakers <My experiences>

Life is hard enough without PSYCHOPATHS involving themselves.

Symptoms: Boldness, superficial charm, pathological lying, lack of empathy or remorse, inclination to violence and manipulation, impulsivity, narcissism.

Causes: Genetic and environmental

Risk factors: Family history, poverty, parental neglect

LETS DEAL WITH NORMAL EMOTIONS FIRST

We’re all so acutely averse to the roller-coaster that is “life” and with trepidation we step through the rugged landscape .. its potholes .. it’s glorious rainbows … it’s steep drops and sunny landscapes.

Sometimes I think, if only somebody could have prepared me for dealing with this rocky journey but there’s no perfect way to deal with the ups and downs in life, there’s no secret formula.

With experience comes wisdom and whilst it’s possible to learn from others, it’s not always possible to know how to deal with life until you’re actually at THAT very point when you’re “IN IT” and being “challenged”

I know, how you feel …. well I really feel I do!!!!

I know it’s not unusual on occasion, to feel mentally strong, like you’re ready to take on the world, totally brimming with positivity… perhaps a bit like a warrior….

But, I know that neither is it unusual to feel helpless and incapable of gathering your thoughts to proceed forwards, sometimes even to complete the simplest, most basic tasks in life!!

On those occasions I often wonder if I’ll be around to see the sun rise once more, casting it’s light over a new day.

Let me tell you, no one is coming along with a magic wand, to wave away your problems or clear down and reset your mind for you.

Sure, you can ask for guidance, but the answer lies in you alone.

I’m rubbish at asking for help though, it’s a pre-programmed, default setting, that should I try to override, brings on anxiety.

I kind of “watch” for the signs of a person needing help and rather than announce it to them, I’ll kind of step in and fill in the parts I can see they need support with (whilst making them feel like it was all their idea in the first place).

Then I’ll sidle out quietly when I know they’re “up and running” again.

Generally, they kind of know I was there but it was all so seamless and natural.

This is the way really I’m best receiving help myself, with my closest of friends (it’s an unsaid exercise every time) working both ways.

ENTER A “TASTER” OF THE PSYCHOPATHS

Within the last 10 years though, I’ve found myself so enveloped in circumstances that are beyond mine and my friend’s comprehension, it’s been really hard to know how to deal with them.

Especially when you’re only aware of the final gut wrenching result and not how or why it happened, or in fact, who was involved.

Oh god, coercive control is such a truly terrible thing.

I’ve had to look back over the years and peel back incidents (in a way that we might look at?layers of the Earth);?the Crust, mantle, core, lithosphere, asthenosphere, mesosphere, outer core, inner core…..

I can look at one incident and say categorically, yes I was targeted for years at my property and at the outset understand it was to do with the neighbours on one side of my property (for example).

But it’s taken several years to understand and piece together that it was the neighbours, coerced by my mentally unwell lodger, paid by a psychopathic motivational speaker, paid by a psychopathic previous employer (& further involving a large proportion of Manchester businesses and employees as well as the rest of my local area in Stockport where I lived, as well as a business network who were hounding me).

So, I see with clarity these situations differently years later and I know it’s ALL connected and it wasn’t just one simple “stand alone” situation (which was bad enough to have caused me a breakdown when i was already battling cancer … alone).?

To know hundreds of people were involved in gaslighting me then was a surprise but by the time Id worked this out, I was more obviously being gaslighted by hundreds of people years later who were making it far more obvious!

So, less of a shock by then!

BACK TO NORMAL EMOTIONS

Anyway, these days I know how you feel if you wake in the morning wishing that life didn’t have to continue, wishing the sun would go away and that you could stay hidden in your bed because the world has become one big black void.

That simply raising your head puts your body into spasms which cause you to vomit.

I understand the panic attacks, the chest pains, the dizziness and the brain freezes.

I know what it means to be totally incapacitated.

But we push through it don’t we?

For those of us who don’t push through, well, we successfully managed an early exit from a place that was too distressful to stomach any longer.

If you managed to hang on in this godforsaken hell, you’ll start to realise, over the course of time, your mindset and world-views have begun a momentous shift (you’re never coming back from it either).

Now, where I see a lot of people dick around with the word “woke” for me this is what I term as my personal “woke”

Is this a good thing?

Well, if I were answering this in the case of a young child, I’d see it as a catastrophe actually but I’m a grown woman so yes it’s ok.

Albeit I’m going through #purgatory .

This is a nod to younger people who go through physical and/or mental HELL - too many of them out there. Sickening.

I mentor a number of young people who have had a terribly stressful upbringing, totally void of love, support and understanding.

Back to discussing the challenges of life as an adult though, without #adversity we can’t really grow #spiritually and I believe that this is what being a human being is all about.

Without the bad times we can’t appreciate the good times and a life without #challenges is much like walking a mundane plateau leading you to nowhere in particular, actually I believe this is a form of damnation in itself!

When we are out of our #comfortzones we can achieve some of the greatest victories. We find characteristics and strengths we never knew we had!

If there’s one thing true of life it’s that, all moments pass and do eventually fade into “historical” memories but it’s how we process those experiences that decides our mental fates.

There are often two sides to life (if you study string theory then sorry for being such a neanderthal)… however there’s a yin and a yang, happy and sad, ease and pain (…. you get my point).

The most important part of it all is maintaining a healthy mental balance especially during the most challenging times; but I do mean the good times too!

If you consistently allow your ego to swing too heavily in any one direction you’re allowing yourself to “lose touch with reality” and that can lead you to real biases.?

I mean we can’t help being biased as human beings to a certain degree…. but I’m talking about allowing your “common sense dial” to kick up enough notches for your view point in any given situation to hit “skewed”

It works both ways - has your ego exploded or imploded ?

Both can be mentally catastrophic!!!

No matter what life throws at you, the key thing?you have control over is how you choose to deal with it and how much energy you use to make the best of the situation.

LIFE’s GREAT TIMES, LIFE’s SAD TIMES

What do you reckon?

Do you fancy being given the choice to skip all the negative parts of your life?

Keep fast forwarding to the good?

Stop for a moment and really think about this, what does the perfect life look like to you?

If you were guaranteed non stop #happiness and good times do you think it would be possible to maintain a balanced mindset??Do you think it would be possible to grow?

Let’s consider #utopia for a second…. what an exciting prospect… all those amazing scenarios, that life… those things.. everything that excites you!!

Consider it happening every day for the rest of your life…. In the moment it feels perfect… but here’s what happens when it’s mixed long term with the human brain …… boredom, apathy, indulgence, greed, lack of self awareness.. in fact it gets difficult to differentiate between highs and lows anymore, there’s a certain amount of losing touch and are we challenged in this?

Do we learn?

Would we progress in ourselves!?

In our characters?

I guess if your answer to this is “why care ?!”

Then I have to bring you back to the biggest existential question of all!!!

What is the meaning of life to you?!

Life is a journey and becoming better every day is my personal goal.

To me it’s about becoming a better human being, it’s about growth, challenge, learning, developing, supporting others, growing from mistakes, it’s about being accountable, it’s about bringing forth positive change not just for myself but for those around me.

It’s about leaving a legacy, no matter how minor in the scheme of life, which will, I would hope, positively impact those that live after me.

IMPACTS OF THE PSYCHOPATHS

I don’t have children, I missed the opportunity, there are many reasons, much I’ve touched upon above relating to the last 10 years of hell.

It’s been enough just trying to survive the past decade without winding up dead.

• I’ve battled cancer whilst being targeted on mass.
• I’ve battled widespread hate and public gaslighting.
• I’ve battled my own fears (when the fears came true).
• The black voids.
• Rejection after #rejection (sometimes hundreds of people rejecting me and talking to me badly consistently would all occur in any one single week).
• I’ve battled the destruction of my physical possessions & everything I worked hard for.
• I’ve battled a mental breakdown.
• I’ve battled the death of those I love and the loss (in terms of complete rejection) from family who will never speak to me again, when they rejected me at the times I needed them the most during my breakdown.
• I’ve been pushed to the point of attempting #suicide
• I’ve been #targeted on mass, both online and offline (within the 4 walls of my property) as well as outside and online.?
• I’ve actually been laughed at for having cancer and called a liar!!
• I’ve been #fatshamed during / following #radiotherapy .
• I’ve been told I’m a shit person (by hundreds of people over time), I’ve been back-stabbed by people I thought were friends.
• I’ve been laughed out of business situations, I’ve been ridiculed (by a known public speaker)?in front of hundreds, from the stage he’s standing on.
• My life has been threatened directly (anonymously) on a regular basis by phone & online for years on end.
• My car has been destroyed.
• My cat was poisoned (she survived but was extremely ill and never recovered fully).
• All my property was thrown into a tip (another long story).
• I’ve lost tens of thousands of pounds in business contracts.

I was laughed at, gaslighted and called a liar for it all (with hundreds of people publicly doing the same to me and following the lead of a very public (psychopathic) 'motivational speaker' who has been largely covering up for his crimes against me since 2012.

The #police and #solicitors are heavily involved and it’s going to court and has already resulted in both myself and “one” of my persecutors spending time in #prison recently.

Yes, after all this, the main person (and one of several psychopaths) involved in doing all this to me, lied under oath and actually had me arrested on top of everything else he’d put me through - only a few weeks ago.

I was out of prison after 7 hours and a 2 hour interview with CID, however, being locked up, handcuffed and treated like a violent #criminal will be something that will stay with me forever.

No matter what the outcome, there will ALWAYS be people who venomously hate me for things I’ve NEVER done or said and for characteristics that I don’t own and never had.

So, my time for having a family seemed to evade me, as I was simply grabbing on to life as hard as I could whilst I was mentally and physically obliterated during the last decade.

I’ve clung on as much as possible to a career left in tatters and a reputation that sees me jeered out of rooms with doors shut in my face.

I’m not looking for sympathy, I don’t feel sorry for myself and I wouldn’t bother mentioning it if it weren’t ALL made so damn public by my perpetrator(s) and yes there’s more than one KEY perpetrator!!!

So many people over time have been pulled into all this to destroy me and so many have laughed at me whilst I was clinging on to life itself by a thread. As far as I'm concerned those people are responsible for their own actions.

I’m shocked at how grown adults act like aggressive kids in a playground and how rude and nasty they can be (based purely on gossip with no independent view they have formed of their own).

I wonder how intelligent they must be??

I guess this is how #politics the world over works though, mass #manipulation , the press REALLY hold responsibility for what they put out there!!!

It’s very true, “He who owns the media, Controls the Minds of The Public”

It’s all so VERY dangerous especially when it really does cost lives.

I look around myself in wonder, I’m just some 52 yr old woman who does a bit of marketing and advertising, yet the hatred has been sickening.

People have actually wanted me DEAD!!! I've been told directly!!

Physically I’ve been and still am often very ill.

I could have stayed quiet and not spoken up, I believe if I’d done this, I would actually be dead now.

I couldn’t have survived.

I have had to deal with most of this alone as it is, but it’s vital that victims the world over DO have their voices heard.

Nonetheless, I’m not going to say that I wish I lived in my idea of “utopia” as none of this would have ever happened, because I’d have learned nothing.

I want to make it clear, for me life isn’t about being “SEEN” to be good and it certainly isn’t about winning awards to prove you’re a “brilliant” person.

I’ve come to hate all this rubbish.

I think awards are important for promoting good causes, regions etc and is ok for whoever enjoys them but I really hate all this.

Some of this maybe because (I’ve never entered myself for an award ever) but someone entered me for one last year and I was quite publicly pulled to pieces and shamed for even having been entered.

I never personally liked awards in the first place.

This really put the icing on the cake for me.

ALL the above incidents are connected, ALL of them have been instigated by those facing criminal charges now.

Its important to be a good person, I think it’s important to do right by others and for me it’s important to leave a person or situation in a better place than how I found it / them.

It’s important to put right the #injustices in the world, where at all possible, especially in the knowledge that, if left, those injustices will unequivocally destroy others.

It’s not important or right to prance around egotistically thinking we’re something special when in reality we’re just as important at the next person (no more, no less).

I have come across too many people who truly believe they’re extremely special in this life and believe it’s their right to treat others badly i.e. because of the colour of their skin, their educational background, their employment status, their age, their religion, where they live etc

Actually, THIS IS NOT OK!!?

Surely how we treat others should be based upon how we know they treat others also!?!

You see, for me, life is about people.

People are life.

There is no utopia which exists anywhere.

EVERYTHING is in your mind.

EVERYTHING comes from your mind.

The only true utopia we can hope to strive for here is EQUALITY.

Now even our planet is scarred and kicking out the ravages of what first began in our minds.

HUMANITY folks that’s where it’s at.

We haven’t actually got too much time to deal with psychopaths, they’re all in the damn way, they're sat in parliament, they’re waging wars for power, they’re greedy fat cats sat at the top of certain corporations raping the earth and taking from us, they’re everywhere we look!?

We’ve far bigger humanitarian concerns as a collective!??

I need my psychopaths to totally piss off for good so I can get on with my life.

#psychopaths #humanity #gaslighting #greed #racism #coercive #control #media #victims #breakdown #mentalhealth #cancer #destruction #humanitarian #life #emotionalbalance #emotionalhealing #lifelearnings #fightforwhatcounts #truthtelling #speakout #useyourvoice #deaththreats #equality #equalitymatters