The Psychology of Social Comparison

Hello, Hi, Namaste,

As we find ourselves already three days into the new year – swiftly embracing 2024, here’s to a New Year bursting with glitter, giggles, joy, and cheer. Wishing you all a very Happy New Year, guys!

While many would have enjoyed the festivities of the 31st, revelling in social gatherings and sharing their stories on various platforms, some among us might have preferred the comfort of our favourite pajamas and a mug of hot chocolate to welcome the year 2024 - at times happily, at times out of choice.

Even though most of us try to, we are guilty of comparing ourselves with others, and their lives. When many of us would have happily celebrated the 31st at home, many of us would have compared ourselves with people out there, only to wish they had somewhat similar celebrations.

This brings us to the point of our discussion today - The Psychology of Social Comparison.

Why Do We Compare Ourselves?

There is actually a biological reason behind our comparison. Whenever we meet someone new, or see something new – our brain compares it to measure up. The experts believe that it is one of the most basic ways to develop an understanding of who we are, what we are good at, and what we are not good at.

Most of the time, these comparisons take place in a split-second back in our minds and we don’t even realize. However, when we are constantly around the highlights of other people’s lives, it quickly becomes toxic.

How Does Comparison Affect Our Lives?

Apart from bringing unhappiness and low esteem, it brings constant anxiety and negativity that can take a toll on our mental health. It also makes us spend money on things just to keep up with society and the Joneses. (a compulsive desire for someone or something like a drug or an addiction)

Warren Buffett has said something really nice about this. “The big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an inner scorecard or an outer scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an inner scorecard.”

We know Jemish. We know all along – these comparisons have made us go crazy but how does one get away from them?

How To Stop Comparing Ourselves With Others?

• Figure out your triggers and avoid them. Let’s find the situations and circumstances making us sad and cynical. Because social media isn’t the only place for sure.
• Water your own grass. Let’s invest in ourselves rather in knowing what other people are up to and capable of. Because we won’t have green grass if we would be focusing on neighbour’s garden.
• Stop shoulding yourself. There is no should have, could have, would have. What we have is ‘can’, ‘will’, and ‘get to’. Let’s hear what we want to do rather what we should do.
• Count the blessings. Let’s be grateful for what we have. You never know – the person you are comparing your life would might be wishing to have things that you have.
• Take a social media detox: You love it or hate it but social media is doing more harm than good. Let’s take a time-to-time break from the crowd and be around real people with reality.

All these might be tough to start with but one can always start and try – one step at a time. If these are not inspiring enough, let me give you an inspiring thought and an interesting question to ponder upon.

"I don't want other people to decide what I am. I want to decide that for myself." - Emma Waston.

Now a question:

Would you rather be the world’s greatest lover, but have everyone think you’re the world’s worst lover? Or would you rather be the world’s worst lover but have everyone think you’re the world’s greatest lover?

Maybe you can just talk about this with your partner – that would be an interesting talk.

Remember – we all are here to connect and belong to each other. Let’s not compare ourselves with others, putting our happiness, confidence, and mental health at risk.

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On that note, I shall take your leave.

Please take care of yourself and the people around you.

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Wishing you all a lovely 2024.

With Peace, Light & Power,

Not Another Newsletter,

Jemish

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