The Psychology of Bragging: Why We Do It and How to Do It Right

Bragging is one of those things we all love to hate. It’s a bit like cilantro—some people love it, others can’t stand it, and it’s almost always noticeable. But let’s face it, we all brag from time to time, whether it's about our latest work achievement, a personal milestone, or something as simple as finding a great parking spot in a crowded lot. But why do we do it, and how can we strike the right balance?

First, let’s dig deep into the why. At its core, bragging is a way to share our successes and boost our self-esteem. It’s natural to want to feel valued and recognized, especially in a professional setting where achievements often equate to career advancement. Sharing our accomplishments can help build our reputation and establish us as experts in our field. However, there’s a fine line between sharing and oversharing, between confidence and arrogance.

Psychologically, bragging stems from our inherent need for social validation. We are social creatures, and our brains are wired to seek peer approval. This need can sometimes push us to highlight our achievements, hoping for a nod of approval, a “like” on social media, or an admiring glance from a colleague. The trick is to do it in a genuine, not off-putting way.

Talking About Ourselves: The Ultimate Reward

Noting the millions of carefully curated postings on the likes of Facebook, Twitter (X), and Instagram, psychologists at Harvard began to look into the question of why sharing our own experiences is so important to us that we can’t seem to stop doing it. They further wished to investigate just how rewarding it is. The psychologists set up a study comprised of five brain imaging experiments and found, using fMRI, that when subjects shared information about themselves, the same areas of the brain activated as those that light up when we are eating food or having sex!

Dopamine Hit?

So, we get a pleasure “hit” on the brain — like a dopamine hit — by talking about ourselves. And every person with connectivity can do that endlessly, by setting up social media accounts that offer an infinite number of opportunities for boasting. Some career websites encourage us to do that, claiming that we will land better jobs if we are great at self-promotion. Moreover, we have role-modelling for doing that through the celebrities whose continued status in the media is dependent on their capacity to brag just a little, hopefully gracefully. All of that would give us the impression that we might be able to create a better impression in others’ minds if we boast.

But How?

So, how can we master the art of bragging without coming across as braggy? It starts with authenticity. People can tell when you’re being sincere versus when you’re just fishing for compliments. Share your successes, but do it with humility. Acknowledge the team effort if it was a collaborative achievement. This not only makes you appear more grounded but also strengthens your professional relationships.

Another tip is to frame your accomplishments as part of a larger story. Instead of simply stating that you closed a big deal, talk about the challenges you faced and how you overcame them. This not only makes your story more engaging but also provides valuable insights that others can learn from. It shifts the focus from “look at me” to “here’s something interesting that might help you too.”

Timing is also crucial. There’s a right time and place for everything. Bragging about a promotion at a team meeting is appropriate; doing the same at a casual lunch might not be. Being mindful of your audience and the context can make a big difference in how your message is received.

Lastly, remember to celebrate others. When you acknowledge and celebrate the achievements of those around you, it creates a positive environment and makes it more likely that they will reciprocate. It’s a simple act of goodwill that can foster a supportive network where everyone’s accomplishments are recognized.

I think, bragging isn’t inherently bad. It’s a natural human behavior rooted in our need for social connection and validation. The key is to do it thoughtfully and authentically. Share your successes, but do so with humility, context, and timing. By mastering the art of bragging, you can build your reputation and inspire those around you without coming across as arrogant. So, next time you have something worth bragging about, go ahead and share it—just remember to do it right.

#Psychology #PersonalDevelopment #WorkplaceCulture #CommunicationSkills #SuccessMindset #AuthenticLeadership