Psychological Harassment (Bullying) impacts your memory! Take this guidance seriously.

The 6 C's to Keep in Mind!

First What is Psychological Harassment.

Psychological harassment or bullying is never a one-time incident. Sadly, legislation does not define this well at all and many mistakes are being made.

Psychological harassment becomes valid when ....

1) a series of negative events (behaviours, accusations, sabotage, humiliation, embarrassment, threats both verbal and non-verbal),

2) continue over a long period of time (research says 6 months but I am seeing valid cases consistently enough to say 3 months or more),

3) towards a certain person, or group of people,

4) which causes some form of harm.

That is as simple as I can put it. Prior to 3 months it is e.g., rudeness, abrasiveness, meanness, sarcasm, jabs, incivility....and these are the early warning signs that you must address immediately. No more making comments like e.g., oh it's just the way they are, or oh it's just a personality conflict. BIG MISTAKE! No more excuses. These early warning signs escalate. Let’s put the responsibility on the ones causing the harm, not the ones showing signs of a psychological injury.

What form does it take? One to one, mobbing, or lateral violence.

Sometimes it is two or more people bullying one or more people meaning "mobbing". And sometimes it is one peer bullying another peer - meaning, lateral violence. More often it is top-down bullying rather than bottom up, but even bottom-up bullying identifies a leadership problem. Leaders should not tolerate this abuse from staff so if you are, then you are either lacking skills, experience, or have a fear conflict. It is your responsibility to build skills, gain experience, and deal with your fear of conflict. There are many solutions for you.

When I say "harm" I mean e.g., loss of safety, fear, anxiety, panic attacks, isolation, depression, suicidal ideation, loss of confidence, self-esteem, and the list goes on. The injuries can also become physical e.g., migraines, frequent illnesses, IBS, or worse, heart attacks, strokes, or death. Many who are bullied were very strong, resilient, ethical people before someone, or a group of people, came along to taunt and torture them in front of peers, clients, and/or repeatedly threaten them in some way. I changed the old quote "death by a thousand cuts" and make it "psychological injury by a thousand psychological insults". Eventually this abuse will take the strongest, most educated people down. Anyone can be harmed. Learn what you can about all of the above.

Back to documentation. Document whether you intend to file a complaint or not.

The fact is, and we see this all the time, things change! In 4 months, you will not remember what happened today, tomorrow, or next week. If this is a case of bullying, it will escalate. When something occurs that makes you ready to file a complaint, you are going to need the details! You will be tired, forgetful, fearful, and confused.

You are going to need clarity. Your notes will remind you that you are not crazy. Your notes will help remind you of the details you will need when even you find hard to believe. For example: your notes will clarify that you were not in the office the day the bully is suddenly accusing you of keying their car. Your notes will tell you exactly where you were and what you were doing. You are going to need that clarity.

Clarity keeps you confident when everyone else is too scared to speak up for you. When self-doubt creeps in (and it will), clarity and confidence will keep you strong and stable rather than ruminating or worrying about the details. Documenting will let you sleep at night. Your sleep is vital to your physical and mental health. You are going to need that confidence.

Clarity and confidence are what gives you courage. It is not easy to report workplace abuse. Many of us fear we will not be believed. We will appear weak. We will be bullied into shame and then silence. We fear it will just get worse. You are going to need clarity and confidence so that your courage is in check!

With clarity, confidence, courage, the day will come when you are ready to make that complaint. Workplace bullies need to be held accountable for change to occur. Whether your bully, or bullies, are leaders, HR, Safety officers, or peers, if we remain silent, avoidant, and fearful, the abuse continues. Clarity maintains your confidence and courage so that you can stand tall and state your complaint.

Credibility is what the investigator looks for. Credibility is achieved with clarity, confidence, courage, and a well-documented complaint.

You are going to need that consistency.

Whether you are being targeted, or someone who is witnessing this happen to another or others, document whether you plan to file a complaint or not. Things Change! Do it for your sanity and health. Do it to win your case.

Learn what you can. Talk to someone who is safe and knowledgeable. Take some trauma informed in-depth training. Know that you do not ever have to go through this alone.

Reach out for help.

Linda Crockett ?www.instituteofworkplacebullyingresources.com