The psycho-social effects of Depression on men: the associated stigma and labels.

Depression, which is a psychiatric and/or psychological disorder, is not only misunderstood, generally, but its effects are often downplayed, especially by those with very little or limited understanding of what depression is, how it affects the one living with it, what it does to them, and what they have to go through, from the onset, diagnosis, admission and post admission for the condition. Further to this, is how society as a whole, has very minimal information with regards to Mental Health and associated illnesses, with them bundling up every and any psychological disorder as madness.

A more clearer and simple definition of what depression is, sourced from Wikipedia, states: "Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behavior, feelings, and sense of well-being.[1][2]

People with a depressed mood can feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, angry,[3][4] ashamed, or restless. They may lose interest in activities that were once pleasurable, experience loss of appetite or overeating, have problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions, experience relationship difficulties and may contemplate, attempt or commit suicide. Insomnia, excessive sleeping, fatigue, aches, pains, digestive problems, or reduced energy may also be present.[5]"

From this definition, one can deduce that depression is caused by a number of things, and it can also lead to a number of other things. Now, I would like to to talk about the effects or impact that depression has on men.

Generally, men are not supposed to show their emotions, should always be seen as mentally and physically strong, be able to shoulder huge emotional and physical burdens, be able to deal with and simplify complex issues, accept life's hurdles as a norm, not cry when hurt or sad, be strong during and after bereavement and post any traumatic event. Any man that is unable to show these signs of perceived manhoood, is either "a weak man", "mama's baby", "imoffie", "ibhetyebhetye", and "not man enough". Now, to most men, any of these terms, when they are labelled with them, shatter their ego. It destroys their self-worth, self-belief and the core of who they are. This, coupled with the label of being "mad", which on its own has its stigma and burdens, may make some men to break.

The reason most men do not seek help for medical issues, especially amongst blacks, is the indoctrination we grow up with, the societal pressures and expectations of what or how a man should be. It is even worse for psychological and/or psychiatric issues. You hear people say "I can't be admitted for depression, I am not weak", or the one that shocked me the most, and which I have come across many times, when people, especially black women, are discussing a man who has been admitted for depression, they say "uyaziphambanisa (acting mad)" or "ubaleka izinto zakhe, usayoziphumza (running away from facing his issues, he is taking a break).

The deep connotations this has, is that men choose to be depressed. It is like there is a button that a "weak man" will flip and switch in his depression. Then we wonder why we have so many men committing suicide? We wonder why we have so many men killing their partners and children, then kill themselves? We wonder why we have so many men who are Alcoholics and drug users? We wonder why we have so many men who, today, are madmen, roaming the streets, eating from rubbish bins? We wonder why we have such aggressive police members and heartless and cold emergency and medical personnel? Imagine the number of trauma events that our police, paramedics, nurses and doctors get to witness on a daily basis. Who debriefs them? Who unloads their burdens? Then we expect them not to snap at some point, with devastating consequences? 

The least we could all do, is to try and equip ourselves with information, what depression is, its effects on the person and those around them, its triggers and how to assist the person who lives with depression, to lead a normal, productive and fulfilling life. Above all this, the best thing you can ever do for yourself, is to go screen for depression and/or other mental health illnesses. You owe it to yourself to do that.