Proxy !

The first time I heard the word proxy was in college where a student would say yes when the professor calls out his friend’s name. I was fascinated by the risk he would take for his friend. He became the proxy for his real friend. But that was temporary. Just for that class.

As I grew up, I saw people with dreams, youngsters with dreams, dreams to be someone! They wanted to change things, be someone unique, be different. They knew they are unique in reality also since each has a unique fingerprint. Think back on what were your dreams? They were fantastic. They were unique. One dream’s signature would not match another’s. And you had talents, various abilities to nurture those dreams.

But then come the voices. Voices from parents. Voices from teachers. Voices from concerned relatives. Voices that tell you to go the beaten path. Mainstream. It’s safe. Just go. Of course they are right. Mainstream is impersonal. Mainstream is safe. You can just be in the crowd. You are just a proxy. A job title. A faceless worker. Your identity? Your personality? Nobody cares. Proxy is a hiding place. Mainstream is a hiding place.

Here's extract from a blog I wrote before I decided to take a serious detour into a road less travelled, from the mainstream. Written in April 2010

“The temptation of the mainstream. The ease of being in the majority. It is so easy to flow with the tide of the mainstream. The fish in the mainstream thinks it is going somewhere. And indeed, it is going somewhere. But the mainstream decides where it is going, not the fish. The fish does not have a say. But the fish does not care.

?In the annual report of the school (the fish school), they can still write page after page about what they accomplished in their journey. You can never accuse them of inaction. They, the mainstream, will be offended. They were truly busy, working hard, swimming with the mainstream, to pursue the dreams the mainstream defined.

The mainstream demands hardwork, strong muzzles, and a 24 by 7 commitment. Come to work with your sleeping bags, they exhort you, and of course they have even storage shelves for your sleeping bags, since most of the time you can sleep in the night at your desks anyway.

The mainstream “cares” for you. They have 24 by 7 coffee and food, and many times even free. For your health they have gymnasium, basket ball courts. The food in the cafeteria is specially designed for your health.

The mainstream “cares” for you, and is even much better equipped to care for you, than your family. Your family? We are your family, the mainstream says. They of course sympathize with your family for the sacrifices you are making for the mainstream on their behalf. For all the time that you do not get with your families, the mainstream covers all of them, even your in-laws, with attractive health-care packages. After all, isn't it also for them? But as for the fish who wanted to go the improbable, it has to face the odds. The ridicule of the mainstream, the strong disbelief of the very family the mainstream actually isolated from you, and even the society who can't comprehend why the hell you left such an attractive lead in the mainstream. Can you swim upstream? Are you trained to swim another way? Are you crazy? Come on. Be real! What is wrong with the mainstream anyway? Afterall, isn't life also favourable to the mainstream? Do you know how to dare danger in the upstream? The still small voice says that the daring and systematic encounters with the upstream can change the direction of your life, and the lives of the others who were left uncared for in the by-lanes of mainstream.”

As parents, avoid the typical Indian parent’s standard answer to be an “engineer first” and then do what you want to do. What does being a chef have to do with being an engineer? Why waste 4 years of yourself and of many engineering professors? Having done engineering myself, and having worked as an engineer, I do not understand why parents still advice them to do engineering first and then do whatever they want, including being a sportsperson, or a musician or a chef or what not !

Swim against the tide. It is not about whether you succeed or fail. It is about the fact that you are not a proxy, but you are being you. Like they say, journey is the experience. Yes, it would mean that you do not amass as much wealth as the proxies. But you live too. And the wealth of satisfaction, the wealth of creativity, the wealth of originality that you gather is unique, which only you could have done.

Work diligently to establishing your identity and blooming yourself as who you want to be. Of course, it is hard work. You have to convince others who matter, especially if your parents are funding you. Work it out. Or else work your own financing or scholarships. And take all the advice you need. Do all the homework you need to. That's the extra work you have to do to deviate from the mainstream. Mainstream does not demand all this homework, this hardwork. You just have to go with the flow. But being yourself is hard work. It is solid accountability. Yet, it is worth it.

Be what you aspire to be. Avoid a life of hindsight regret for not having tried it out. And just as companies too do, if that does not work out, re-pivot.

So, do not be a proxy. Be a Nemo.