Providing difficult feedback to your direct reports & team members

We have all been at the receiving end of feedback at some point. Your Manager says something like: "Do you have a minute? I would like to discuss..." A mini dread episode ensues an anticipation inferno. Palpitations and question marks take control of the person waiting on the ‘bench’. Receiving difficult feedback or criticism is one of the most dreaded things for employees. However, there's a twist: the ones giving feedback dread it too!?

The potential risk of hurting someone's feelings and negatively impacting their self-image is a daunting task for managers. Recognizing that there is no universal approach working its magic on every single employee and situation, deepens the conundrum. Proving difficult feedback if executed properly can be a positive experience for both parties. Let’s explore the subtle art of providing constructive feedback.

Stern feedback can backfire

There's nothing worse than counterproductive feedback. Emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in understanding and implementing effective ways of providing meaningful information about your employee's performance. Mutual respect is the first step to a successfully conducted dialogue, especially about a performance lapse or shortcoming on a project. Frequent and abrupt negative comments can leave your direct reports feeling attacked or even cornered. "My manager keeps coming at me." So, first, take their feelings into account and strive for meaningful feedback given in a constructive manner.

Clear the brain fog

Before sending an invite to someone for a feedback meeting, sit down and think. Articulation is a powerful tool, which if used properly, can enable the conversation to stay focused on the original intent. Proper articulation will avoid confusing your direct report with a mixed bag of signals. The main purpose of feedback is to help your subordinate grow professionally. Vague and unspecific remarks can adversely impact their inner drive and motivation to improve. To avoid a misunderstanding, articulate your observations about your direct report's performance in a succinct manner.

Help employees navigate the issues gently?

Feedback is never about the person; it's about their professional demeanor. Experienced managers understand the difference and know precisely how to approach the burning issue. Instead of pointing fingers and calling out a specific trait of their personality such as – “Your aggressive behavior is making it impossible for your coworkers to approach you”. Here is an alternative phrasing: “How would you describe your behavior in meetings? Which of your behaviors are helping or hurting the team dynamic? It came to my attention in our recent meeting that you've been …..”

Be direct and concise

The goal of providing difficult feedback is to give meaningful information for your employee's professional growth and development. Finding that perfectly blended diction of 1/2 assertiveness + 1/2 empathy is more challenging than it looks. Conducting a flawless evaluation takes practice. The ‘feedback sandwich’ strategy is prevalent among some managers viz. a layer of compliments, a quick critique, and another thick layer of reinforcing compliments. Therefore, it's important to talk about it in a direct manner.

Encourage an open and honest dialogue

Chances are that your direct report is already self-aware about his/ her underperformance. Most of us make mental notes of our professional errors. However, we would avoid voluntarily approaching our manager to confess our errors and mistakes. Rather than focusing on the ‘guilty on XY accounts’, managers may want to start the dialogue by offering to help and support their direct report on their improvement process.

Make way for listening when providing difficult feedback

Feedback is not that different from any other regular human interaction. Someone talks - you listen. You talk - someone listens. Feedback nervousness is every day in managers. We can easily slide into an involuntary episode of excessive and often incoherent talkativeness when we're nervous about potentially hurting someone's feelings. If you find yourself barely catching a breath, stop! Let your direct report talk. Listen to what they have to say. Taking a moment to understand their point of view can even help in enhancing your soft skills . Empathy and the ability to listen will provide you with deeper insight into the issues/ impediments causing the underperformance.

Do not postpone it

Postponing the inevitable only generates anxiety around the impending conversation. There will never be an ideal time for providing feedback. So, why wait? Do it while the information is fresh. Letting it simmer will further riddle the effectiveness of your performance as a manager and you’d tend to make statements like "as I recall ... is that correct? It was on the 28th, wasn't it?" After-the-fact action might lack clarity/ specificity and candor. Covering relevant topics immediately will provide more direct feedback and downsize the ‘worrying bubble’. Resolving any professional hiccups as they come will help in building a high-performing team . So, prevent accumulating observations for reviewing at a later date.?

Do follow-up

"Let bygones be bygones" may not always be helpful in figuring out the desired course of action. Acknowledging an issue only to leave it up to chance after discussing it with your employee will not bring substantial change or growth. Establishing a development plan along with regular follow-ups will lead to significant improvement. Discussing undertaken steps and evaluating plan implementation will help build a stronger bond and create space for enhancing trust. Your consistent guidance will make all the difference!

Finally

Helping your direct reports during their self-reflection phase, and then providing direct and meaningful feedback will shapeshift into a pleasant experience for both parties. Exploring their thoughts on the hows, whats, and whys can lead to new information, thus providing the missing pieces of the puzzle and paving the path to progress.