The Protagonist’s Cobbler — A Talk on Mental Health

I have a condition. Let’s call it the Protagonist’s Cobbler. It is not a unique or a special condition, and I know many people who suffer from the same. However, the intensity of suffering differs for every individual. Overly compassionate people, like yours truly, feel more in tune with this condition. But, I am getting ahead of myself; let me first start by explaining the condition itself.

What is the Protagonist’s Cobbler?

Have you ever felt in tune with a fictional character? Let’s say you are reading a book or watching a movie. The creator has done a good job if you automatically relate and feel a personal connection to the fictional character. And, if you can see yourself in the protagonist, the creator has done an excellent job.

However, for a few people, the feeling extends beyond that. They can empathize with the protagonist, or any fictional character for that matter, so much that their daily mood sees a change. They not only read a story or watch a movie, but they carry it within themselves for long after. These individuals can step into the shoes of the protagonist like no one else. Hence, the name, the Protagonist’s Cobbler.

The Premise

If I say that I live a reasonably comfortable life, you would be right. I have loving parents, a good job, and enough financial backup to cover for my rainy days. But that does not stop me from overthinking.

Over the last couple of days, I noticed several people talking about the 9/11 tragedy from two decades ago. I read people talking about losing their loved ones, suffering financial losses, and rising up stronger than ever. I also read stories about people sharing stories in recognition of Suicide Prevention Day.

What Happened Today?

Now, you may ask why did I feel like writing about this today. So, here we go.

As I stepped into the gym for a workout today morning, a couple of factors were already affecting me heavily. The gloomy weather, lack of sleep, and a general distaste towards heavy noise. After a good workout with calming music, I thought that I would be able to flush out the negativity from my system. I was wrong.

After a couple of reps, I opened my LinkedIn feed and started scrolling. Two particular posts from individuals I did not know tugged the strings of my heart to their breaking point. These posts talked about love, loss, and a hope for a better future. Being the overly sensitive individual that I am, I felt out of breath and out of focus. I felt something choking my heart and throat, and soon I realized that I was crying silently in an empty gym.

I knew that I could not workout today, and I needed to go back home. So I did.

I went back home and laid in my bed till I fell asleep. I woke up 3 hours later, finished my lunch, and again lay in my bed listening to “Be Alright” by Dean Lewis. And I don’t even have a girlfriend to lose in the first place! The audacity of the feeling!

That’s when I decided to pen down this feeling and post it on my Instagram.

The Conclusion

People talk about lending a helping hand all the time. They talk about keeping their doors open and say that the words you tell them will be strictly confidential. But do they ever listen? Like, really listen?

Sure, I understand that there are people out there who are genuinely concerned about you and your mental health. But the problem is that even they cannot help sometimes because you have no words to explain your feelings. You fear being judged and being perceived as an overly sensitive loser who cannot keep a hold of personal feelings. You worry that no one will understand you, and you feel the gravity sucking you deep down into yourself, into oblivion.

If you’ve read this far, I wanted you to know that you are not alone. I wanted to leave you with a parting thought on mental health.

Social media, and the internet showcases only the highlight reels of the lives of people. Those are not their real lives.

Do this, take a day off. Do not consume any media. No music, no text, no words. Recalibrate your feelings or, better yet, put them out there like I did today. I am sure you will feel better.

Who knows? You may be lucky enough to find someone who understands your silence better than you do.

P.s. Reach out to me. Really. Do not hesitate. Instagram: @shubhamvgarg

I would be happy to listen or just be with you on a call if you don’t feel like speaking. I am here for you.

Thank you for reading.