THE PROSTITUTE, THE FIRST PAGES

 

 

 

 

 

The prostitute

 

 

by

 

Alma Jane S?rbu

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alina entered slowly in the living room, shrouded in the darkness. It was 11 p.m and her husband hadn't arrived home yet. She stood in the door step for a while to get used to the darkness from the room and then headed to the Louis 16 armchair upholstered with sandy silk, close to the fireplace which was lit up during the day to warm up the tall room, but finally quenched.

She sat carefully and put a blanket on her feet. She felt cold waiting for Roland Dubois.

She left the door half opened to hear the ringbell and through it could see her children playing in the living room. She touched the table that was on the left side, between the two armchairs and found the packet of cigarettes and the lighter. She calmly lit a cigarette and looked on the window that was in front of her eyes.

It was November. A diluavian rain fell on Paris and the strong wind bent the trees around Champ Elysees Boulevard. She was very sad. She should've been happy that she was proposed by the best orchestra conductor in France and though...she was sad. She couldn't enjoy this. She should've been content that in the past ten years of her life, she had been blessed with a loving family, two playful and healthy children, money, house, vacations in the most exotic places in the world but still she could not enjoy all these things. The moment of truth had come, the moment to pay for all her lies. She was thinking with dispair at the day when her documents would be delivered from Romania and would be read by her long time unofficial husband.

Tears of sadness began to trickle down her cheeks. The shadows of the past hauntes her and she was terribly sorry that the destiny hadn't helped her to take part of a normal family. She took a drag from her cigarette already stifled and with trembling hands she began to search the lighter again. Finally she found it, lit it and took a deep puff in her chest as if she wanted to breathe fresh air.

She looked at the clock with phosphorescent pointers and began to count the seconds, the minutes, just to forget about her childhood.

 

 

 

 

***

 

She was born in Constan?a, in 1960, a big city situated on the shore of Black Sea, in a poor family. Her father had been a famous fiddler in the town. He played divinely the fiddle as the gypsies said. He used to play the fiddle at weddings, christening parties, but he spent most of his time in a tavern at Piata Ovidiu. She would find out later that her mother was a harlot at Crucea de Piatra from peninsula in the same block the were supposed to live later.

Ol'Nicu, "the great violonist" used to drop by quite often at crucea de Piatra and became fond of Mariana, one of the most beautiful prostitutes in the city, a curvy brinette and brown eyed woman, a perfect woman for a gipsy man. He married her offically helping her get out from the misery in which she has lived since she was a child. He took her to live with him in the same block in the basement.

A new family had been born, Ionita Niculae and Maria.

Ol'Nicu went on playing in the same tavern every night and Mariana (as her friends and acquintances called her), became a real housewife and gave birth to two children. The first was Cristi and two years later, a chubby and blue eyed girl and with skin like milk, named Alina. In the beginning before the birth of their children, the poor maried couple was passionately in love, but then the worries and troubles surrounded them. Ol'Nicu never came home sober. When he was drunk he wanted to argue and often fought with his wife. Many times, ppor woman, fell asleep near the children's bed. The children were still little and she used to wake up beaten by her husband.

He liked gambling and sometimes would spend all the money for food, leaving his wife and kids without anything t eat. Luckily, the neighbours from upper floor, showed their mercy by calling her to help them doing the cleaning, cooking, in change for money or food, but they were quite poor too.

The communism was thriving just for some of the people. Those who lived in the Peninsula, most of them were boyars and impoverished bourgeois, people who were used to being served. They did not know how to cok or clean the house. Most of them were old, so poor Mariana helped each of them, that most of the times she neglected her children.

As the children were little they knew instinctively when their father would come home drunk and in the mood to fight. The woke up and cried out loud . Even if they lived in the semi basement, the noise was spreading in the whole block, until one of the neighbours called the police. The police from the neighbourhood knew he was a brawler and took him to the police station until the next day when he slept himself sober. Then they would send him home. These rants and raves went on for a couple of years when Mariana decided to divorce him. Ol'Nicu left the humble home from semi basement and went to Bucharest, to delight other people with his songs. The children were six and four years old and had not seen their father ever since.

Mariana being alone, got a job in a Lotto Agency and began to sell lottery tickets. Although they were little, Cristi and Alina were quite mature for their age and tried to help their moother as much as they could. In the miserable flat with musty walls which were never warmed by the sun and les by the heat that radiated from the improvised iron stove which was placed in the hall, there could be seen two king sized beds, an old wardrobe, where they put their few cloths given away by strangers, neighbours and other merciful people.

The children were quite neat and well-mannered and each had his purpose in the family. Their mother coked and then went to work and since they were little they knew to fill their plates, to eat in a civilized way, to do washing up and the cleaning.

When they grew up, Mariana sent them to the Art High school, sitauted two streets away from their home, near the Greek church. Their mother knew they got talent and did not want them to improvise songs like their father did. She wished for them a brighter future...this was the slogan in those times.

Both Cristi and Alina were stunningly beautiful children. Nature had gifted them with big blue eyes, with white silky skin and curly dark brown hair.

Due to all frustrations and utter poverty and because the two children grew up almost alone,Alina started to swill and became obese. All the children, school colleagues and neighboursbegan to laugh at her. They all called her "Big-boned Alina".

She was trying to smile and ignore all the words for them not to realise that those words really hurt her so much.

She had an angel face, she was cute and told jokes to everyone, but inside she was crying bitter tears and was not accepted by all the other children of her age.

The only refuge was the flute and kept blowing into it until she felt as if her lips were burning and got swollen as if she ate some hot food.

Time passed her and the others by with good and bad, with frustrations and utter poverty. She had only Cristi, and her mother, Mariana, who did their best to make her feel she was not different from the other kids.

Meanwhile hermother began to bring home different men, whom she made love to, in one of the bedrooms. The two teenagers had to sleep together even if they were girl and boy. They could not sleep because of the loud noises that could be heard through the partition wall. The men that Mariana brought were not Tomanian. They were Greeks, Muslims from all over the world, or long term voyage seamen who came drunk and made the children fear for their lives.

 

 

***

 

Suddenly the ringbell broke the silence. Alina flinched and seem to wake up from trance. Her heart was beating fast and she wondered how would be the next discussion with Roland. None of them knew when the documents would be sent in Romania.

Scared to death because of the record, she was waiting impatiently for the man whom she loved with all her heart and almost worshiped for what he had done for her. Roland insisted to ring the bell again and wondered if something wrong had happened in the house as nobody opened the door. As nobody opened it, he searched for the keys frenetically in his rain coat and finally found them. Quickly he unlocked the the door and saw the light on in the hallway. He took off his dripping wet coat and with his shoes still on, looked anxiously in the house to see what happened as he could not hear a sound. All the lights were off and there was a grave silence.

The children and the nanny had been sleeping for a long time and Alina was afraid to move. She could not look into his eyes. Suddenly the living room door opened and Roland showed up. He was a middle class French man who eats well but not so much. Briefly he was a 50 year old man who looked pretty young.

Alina lifted her eyes and looked straight at him, begging for mercy. He was astonished by her atitude and asked her:

"Bonsoir, ma Cherie! What are u doing here in the dark? Is it something wrong with you or the kids?"

"No dear", answered Alina timidly avoiding his look...

"Nothing is wrong here. I am just not feeling well. I think it's the weather and I was worried about you as I did not know how you get home on this storm...you are late".

"Yes, I could not pass through one of the tunnels at the Opera. All that part of the street was flooded and we had to wait for the firefighters to clear the sewage.

"What have you been doing today? You look tired. I was texpecting you be more cheerful. We are going to legalize our relationship, right?

"What's wrong with you?"

"No, I am not sad. I am worried about my mother. I've been calling a neighbour who has a phone, but nobody answered", lied Alina.

"I'm afraid they demolished the building and moved her in another neighbourhood. I am afraid that we will never meet again. Constan?a is quite a big city and I wouldn't know how to find her"

" Ma cherie, this is what the police is for. You call there, you tell them your name, the degree of kinship and you may receive an answer to your request."

"You seem to forget that I left Romania ten years ago because of the communist regime and I can't just tell the Militia my identity! They are just waiting to come after me"

"Don't tell me you are an important person for the communist regime, because I will no believe it at all! How can you harm them by leaving tthe country ten years ago? So, are you guilty of the communist regime collapse?"

"No. Not at all. I didn't have any position anywhere. I barely graduated the high school and sang in taverns. I didn't know what else to do. I still have nighmares from that period. I don't have pleasant memories from childhood and teenage perios, but it doesn't mean that I do not miss my mother. It's my mother and I haven't seen her since I left Romania. I miss her very much", said Alina, almost crying. She pulled her blanket and squeezed it frantically.

"Oh, come on dear, don't be pessimistic. You will see that everything will be just fine. When we will get married and you will have all the documents, we shall call her here to live with us. Well, what do you think abot this idea? "

Alina jumped up from the armchair and extended her arms toward him. Roland held her passionately and kissed the tears running down her cheeks. She began to cry her eyes out for her sealed fate. She knew that none of the things that Roland promissed her were not true and once she revealed the truth about her, Roland would contemn her, or worse, he would hate her more than he loved her... He did not understand a thing from what happened to Alina in that moment and thought she was in that "delicate moment of the month". He couldn't take her in his arms but he gently put his arms around her shoulder and led her in the matrimonail bedroom, dressed her up with pyjamas and held her tight until the sob stopped. His beloved Alina, fell asleep like an angel.

 

 

***

Since those damned documents that Roland had requested from Romania to marry her, Alina had nightmares. She had barely fallen asleep when she remembered herself a fourteen year old teenager looking in the mirror and saw that she grew fatter and fatter everyday. She rarely left the house but when she did it she she went walking or visited a friend from school, Aura. They were desk mates and both of them played wind instruments. Aura and Alina were memebers of the wind band from the Musical High school and had often concerts in the country or Bulgaria.

Aura was a pariah of the society too. She was a member of the Adventist cult and she was rejected by her colleagues too, who avoided to talk to her as there were legends according to which if you approached these people they would convert you to their religion. This was not considered a good thing for them. They had another friend from the country side from a nearby village. She rented one of Aura's rooms and her name was Eugenia, but everybody called her Jeni. Jeni was a student at a school close to the Musical High School and in their spare time they were inseparable.

They visited Bulgaria together too and had a great time there. They were joking, laughing and felt good when they were far away from Constan?a. There, nobody knew them and could mock everybody and laugh at the boys on the street. During the three years of friendship with these girls, Alina felt confident with her appearance. Every time she met the girls she could stay away from the worries and frustrations and could really enjoy her teenage life. Alina really felt like a child, although if you took a closer look at her, you could see that she looked her age.

All the time was happy, joking and laughing continually. All these things helped her not reveal her real life from home. Her friends would find out about the nightmare that haunted her everyday. She spent most of the time at Aura's home, but in the evening she had to leave. On her way home she started feeling shivers down her spine at the thought that she had to "work" to support her family. The agony had begun a few month ago, when her mother realized that her daughter had "potential".

"What do you mean potential? What is the meaning of this word?", asked Alina angrily.

"You know dear, you don't look your age. All the men who "visit" me, thought you are 18. Maybe it's your appearance. Look at your boobs nd ass. All the men like you. I am too old for them. They are not interested in me anymore..."

"What do you mean? Do you want to sell me? Isn't it wnough that we accepted for who you are? I have never blamed you for anything, but I just can't do what you do", said Alina almost crying.

"That's the way the world wags!", said her mother.

"Who do you think you are? A princes, a blue blooded brat?" How do you think we will survive if you don't satisfy those men who like you? Do you think that you have another choice for your age? You want it or not, we will sleep with whomever pays us, girl! Life is a bitch and you should have known it by now".

"You know what, mother? In vain you talk to me about this because I am not going to do what you want me to do", yelled Alina and left the room.

Without arguments, her mother jumped on her back, grabbed her long curly hair and began to punch her back, offending her. It was the first time, poor girl was beaten and she even didn't know the reason. She tried to defend herself and the first thought that came through her mind was to jump off the basement window into the field in front of the block, where the boys were playing football. Each of them gave her a black look not knowing why she got beaten up and started yelling: "Weighty Alina eats the whole dinner". She was bare foot although the October wind was mild, her toes froze while she was running toward Aura's house.

Her mother had ripped her blouse and could hardly keep her cloths on. She knocked on the door and Jeni opened it surprised by her visit. It was really dark and her parents had gome to the church.

"Alina, what's wrong with you? What happened with your clotes and shoes?'

"I got beaten up by my mother".

"Why? What did you do?"

"You mean, what I did not do..."

"What do you mean? I did not know your mother was so grumpy... what did you not want to do?

Come in! It's cold and dark", said Jeni.

Alina entered the house shivering with cold. Jeni led her to the bathroom and, gave her a big towel, impeling her to take a cold shower. While alina was warming herself in the shower, Jeni brought her a bathrobe. She put it on and quickly not wanting to "lose the warmth of her soul", as she used to joke. Meanwhile, Jeni prepared her a cup of cocoa with milk and invited her in the "girls" bedroom where they studied, slept and goofed around.

Alina began to recover from the shock. She was in the mood for confessions.

Nobody treated her so nice and with such kindness as this "county girl" did (this was Jeni's nick). Jeni was a clever and chatty girl. She knew how to make people open up their hearts to her. Everybody was gossiping that the principle wangled a place in the schoolfor her and that she came from the country side to rob the the best "famous" students' good grades and and at the same time all were seeking "useful" advise from her. Jeni was the "patron of all helpless" lovers. She knew to "comfort" them what they had to do in each situation...

Neither Alina was an exception from this rule. While she was drinking her cocoa with milk she felt the need to open her heart.

Alina was no exception to the rule and while she was savouring the cocoa felt like opening her heart:

“Jeni, I really don’t know if you know my family situation. Do you know that my father abandoned us when I was little and my mother raised up me and Cristi alone?”

“Yes, I know that from Aura. It’s not something to be ashamed of. A lot of people live a harsh life. I’m lucky that I have both my parents and I grew up in a happy family but that doesn’t mean that I despise poor forsaken people. I’m trying to help everybody as I according to my age. I wish I could have the power to help you. So, tell me what’s wrong?”

“Well… I’m so ashamed to tell you. It’s not something that makes me proud… you know my mother works at a lottery agency. She got paid by the number of tickets sold and many times she earns so little that all of starve. So, she thought to… put her old talent of harlot into practice and charm the men. She sent my brother to play in taverns and bring her men at home."

“Oh my Goodness! Where do you sleep when they come?” asked Jeni amazed.

“Where we can find a place... usually in one of the bedrooms left. We lock ourselves in and don’t make a sound. We cannot sleep at all because of the noise. “Those” are not Romanians. They are Greek, Muslims, Turkish miscarried seamen. They come dead drunk and my mother pours some more alcohol to them. They sing, destroy the furniture, break bottles and roar like animals while they are having sex with her.”

“What soes Cristi say? Doesn’t he talk to her? He’s older and could stop this.”

“Cristi? He is the bums to our home. She would beat him to death if he didn’t bring them. He’s afraid that one day something really bad would happen to us. I don’t know… we both have the feeling that the we can't do the same thing for several times…”

“And you live in this terror night by night? Can’t you just go to the police and tell them you don’t have a normal childhood?”

“What could they do? Come and pick my mother and send her to jail? What about us? We would be sent to orphanage, right? No, I can’t shoot myself in the foot. It’s my mother we’re talking about and I simply can’t do this. I don’t have relatives to go to, just some aunties who live in Basarabi but I don’t want to live in a village“.

“Do you think village is worse than the city? I spent all my childhood in a village and I still like to live there. It’s clean, we have fresh air and because I had the woods close to me made me feel good. You don’t know how relaxing is to walk into the woods. How about coming to my home on our next school vacation? Look, the winter is coming and you can spend the holidays with us. Aura comes, too.”

“Well..., said Alina sulking. I’d like to come with you and never return to my home. I haven’t told you the problem yet…”

“What? Is there something else?” said Jeni surprised. She stood up to open the door as somebody was anxiously knocking.

“I’m coming! Who is it?” she asked loudly.

“It’s me, Cristi. Is Alina here? My mother and I have been looking for her for two hours and couldn’t find her…”

Jeni opened the door and found Alina's handsome brother. His dazzling green-blue eyes seemed to punch her. She could’ve said that Alina wasn’t there but she just couldn't hide the truth. Her eyes were betraying her. She looked down and said with a timid voice:

“Oh, Cristi… Alina’s been here for a long time! We were just girl talking, you know. She took a bath earlier. I hope she did not scare you with her absence.” Cristi almost frightened her. He was a self assured good looking guy and he used to look straight in her eyes almost forcing her to bend her look. That never happened to her with the other guys.

“Jeni, please tell her to come home! My mother’s waiting for her, lied Cristi serenely. He held Jeni around the waist and leaned over her shoulder calling Alina and telling her that the food was getting cold… Jeni felt like she was fainting with pleasure. The touch of his hand was overwhelming and she got goose bumps when feeling his virile breath… she liked him to death but would not admit it for the world! She released herself from his innocent arms and quickly climbed the stairs to the girls’ room leaving Cristi behind. She found Alina hunched over on the bed trembling and weeping…

“I don’t want to go home, I don’t want to be a harlot like my mother! Jeni, please help me get out of this nightmare!”

 

***

 

Alina was tossing and turning in bed sweating abundently. She was moving her legs and arms chaotically, and screaming some Romanian words that Roland did not understand. He tried to wake her up but in vain, wanting to liberate her from the terrible nightmare. He called her name and only then she woke up. She looked around seeing the king size bed with a silk baldaquin and seraphins on each of the four corners. Then she saw the Louis XVI furniture made of rose wood and golden curtains on the large windows. She suddenly felt safe there, with her husband in their home.

Alina turned to him and looked straight at him with her big blue eyes. Tears started running down on her cheeks and she held him as if she had seen him for the first time.

“Oh, Roland… I’ve had this nightmare again. It was complete darkness and it came to me surrounding me and I couldn’t get out. It was like deep water whirling me around. I was desperately trying to get out of it but I couldn’t… and I was struggling in that darkness and choking. I would have choked in my sleep if you didn’t wake me up. I wanted to call you and but I was mute… or deaf. I couldn’t hear myself”. Alina responded and pain was imprinted in her eyes. Not all she said was a lie...this was the way she felt...like she was in mud in which she sank deeper and deeper when she wanted to get out.

Roland kissed her with all the love in the world and led her to the bathroom. He took her clothes off slowly and tenderly, like no one could, then he took off his and both entered the warm shower with its foamy water. They made love like two teenagers who had nowhere to go… He immersed himself in the act with such passion and energy that no one could have guessed it. He was twenty years older than her, after all. Alina seemed to forget the nightmare releasing the negative energy from that night. They put on their bath robes, smiling and hugging each other. They headed to the kitchen which in the morning was replaced with the livingroom.

“Good morning my dear children”, said Alina looking at the two boys sitting around the table.

“Bon dimanche, mes enfants!” Roland repeated. What are you going to do today after eating? It’s Sunday and I would very much like to go somewhere in the country… what about Versailles? Sun is up and the storm passed.”

“What are you saying, kids? Mark, Bernard? Alina asked delighted by her husband’s idea.

“Well… I have something to do on the computer, mum!” Mark objected with a scowl.

“And I want to make that puzzle, mummy! You promised you would help me with it” Bernard whinned.

“Yes, I did promise my dear, but look at the window! It’s such a great weather and we should go see that palace and the gardens of Versailles.”

“And if we go there we might enter and enjoy the music of Mozart… there’s a concert performed by a chamber orchestra at the Palace. That’s your chance to see the world, change the view. You’ve stayed in the house for like a millennium,” Roland said winking and looking at the two boys.

“Now that you’ve taken this decision we might as well come with you,” gave up Mark obviously not pleased with the idea of an excursion. “Come on, Bertie, let’s get dressed, these two are taking us for a cultural tour.”

He grabbed his little brother by the hand almost knocking him down. Bertie started to cry instantaneously and called mother. Alina came and held him tenderly kissing him on the cheeks and caressing him as always when Mark teased and attacked him. She loved them both immensely. They were beautiful and slender children making their parents proud. Mark had blue eyes and wavy black hair and Bertie looked strikingly like his father, straight hair and brown eyes. Alina was happy to have boys instead of girls and every time she went out with them acted like she was showing the world her jewelries. Their Mediterranean beauty made them different from the locals. People asked them if they were Italian and they answered “No, we’re French born and raised” which was not entirely true. Mark had been born in Paris but Roland was not his biological father. Alina had had a relationship with a mulatto when she stayed in Germany at her brother’s.

“Come on, children, go with Madelaine and get dressed. We’ll come to pick you up after we drink our coffee,” Alina chuckled lightly letting Bertie go and tenderly pushing him with a quick spank.

Kids went out of the kitchen and the couple sat at the table kissing each other and drinking their coffee with milk and eating croissants, the daily menu. It was an unwritten rule consistently followed despite the fact they were a mixed family (not all of them were French).

After an hour they came out of the building, all dressed up for the trip. It was 10.00 am and the sun was brightly shining on the turquoise sky. The storm and whipping winds from the evening before had undressed the trees which looked like ghosts with long fleshless arms bent towards the side walk. This décor strongly contrasted with the spirit of those who walked on the Champs Elysees Boulevard.

In front of their building the small splashing fountain caught the kids’ attention. They ran to it wanting to see if there was any water since the Town Hall turned off all the fountains in winter. They approached the fountain surprised that there was some rain water mixed with leaves from the trees tortured by the storm. Alina warned them not to put their hands in the basin because they’d get dirty and she would not go back to house to clean them. Roland had already arrived in the parking lot and got on the recently acquired Mercedes SUV. He started the engine making signs and pointing to his watch. Alina took the children who reluctantly accepted to get in the car. She sat on the passenger seat and told the kids to buckle their seat belts.

Roland drove off the parking lot and turned to Arc de Triomphe. He wanted to get to the concert on time. After all, he made a living from art and art lived in his spirit. Every fiber of his body and mind breathed art. He was a good family man but unfortunately as many artists he found it difficult to cop with the reality. Luck seemed to have embraced him from the moment of his birth. He was born and raised in a family of famous French instrumentalists and never knew what financial problems and pitfalls are supposed to be. He lived his life at an easy, relaxed pace having all he ever wanted. All his wishes came instantaneously true with no effort. He did not know what was like to have no loaf of bread on the table or a loving home. Notwithstanding his wealthy existence he was a good student and met all expectations. His parents sent him to the most reputable schools wanting to exceed their own fame and that was exactly what happened. Above all, Roland had a wonderful quality: he was a generous and good human being.

As they say: “No matter your education or how clever you are, it matters how much of a person you are in life”.

This was exactly the quality that brought him to this situation. He was married without papers to Alina, not knowing who she was, where she came from and her education. But he knew only one thing for sure: he loved her very much and she loved him back. And above all, she had never given him any reason to be jealous. It meant very much to him giving the previous marriage experiences; in his early years he had been married to a fellow instrumentalist who unfortunately dumped him for his best friend.

Alina got on the car and buckled her seat belt. She looked on the car window and realized the feeling of safety she had with Roland… On the right side of the road the old apartment buildings were lining like soldiers with the naked trees in front. This picture reminded her of the buildings back home in the Peninsula which were never demolished by Commies. They used to think of the old town as being a necessary evil. This part of the town attracted the tourists who came to visit the Archaeological Museum, Statue of Ovidiu, Roman Mosaic, the Mosque. But the main attraction was the Casino which used to be in the antebellic period the gambling hot spot for royalties and richest people on the face of the earth. These people came here to be treated of various medical conditions with the famous Techirghiol mud and in the evening they gathered at the Casino to spin the roulette, play poker or other games of cards. All these she found out from the degenerates who lived in the same building she lived in because they had been once too, the nobility of Constantza.

In her childhood Peninsula had become almost a pilgrimage place for the vestige aficionados and piquant details hunters who had the chance to hear them told by the locals in exchange for a few Lei… All that had happened those years was beautiful and grandiouse but that did not keep many of them warm. And she was one of those who suffered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

Roland looked at his wife and saw her sobbing and looking absently on the steamed window of the car. He took his hand off the wheel and touched her gently on the shoulder, afraid not to scare her.

“Ma Cherie, what are doing? Why are you crying? It’s a beautiful and sunny day and we are all here together, the whole family. You don’t have any reason to be sad. We are so rarely all together! There’s absolutely no reason to cry right now!”

“I’m crying because I’m happy. You’ve finally found time to go on a trip with your family” Alina lied looking back at Roland.

He felt insincerity in her voice and asked himself where did the sadness come from? Maybe she had a depression because she chose to leave the orchestra were was flute player and stayed home to look after the children when Bertie was born?

“Alina, I’ll make an appointment for tomorrow at the psychiatrist. That’s it! We are all doing our best to get you out of this state of mind and you’re just sabotaging our efforts. You don’t want or you can’t… This has to stop. I’m looking at you and I simply do not recognize you. You’re with us but in the same time miles away. You lack concentration and seem not to be interested in anything. You’re like a sleep walker who never seem to wake up, not even when you’re awake. What’s with this crying and sadness all the time? Why can’t you just tell me who or what are you crying for?”

“Darling, please don’t make a scene in front of the children. Don’t get upset, I’m begging you. I just remembered the old building from my own home town, that’s why I was weeping. Believe me, I’m not hiding anything from you and this will never happen. I promise you!” Alina murmured in a futile effort to show a happy mood. After all, the man beside her was not guilty for the traces of her past haunting her life.

She told the kids some jokes to cheer them up. They all sang a Christmas song. It was less than a month tuntil winter holidays. She explained them how she and her family used to spend the holidays in Romania, the country where she came from. They did not know anything about it and she told them about the Christmas and New Year’s Eve traditions and promised them she would bring some traditional Romanian costumes and teach them songs in their mother tongue, Romanian. Mark and Bernard were fascinated by the story and listened with their eyes wide open. Alina told them about ‘The Star’, ‘The Bear’, or some wonderful children songs customs like ‘Sorcova’ or ‘Plugusorul’. She was a talented story teller and when she spoke to her children her voice became sweet like honey.

Time passed and they found themselves in front of Versailles Palace.

It was pretty crowded. People were queueing anxiously to enter through the only gate opened in winter in front of palace’s gardens. They joined the crowd glancing in amazement at the endless lawn in front covered with live fences and perennial plants, with dwarf trees that embellished the architecture of the building giving it a noble appearance, almost British if we were to be honest, but Frenchies would have never admitted that. Hardcore nationalists, Frenchies claimed they knew how do create English gardens long before the Brits themselves.

Finally, they entered the museum and Alina made some steps behind to watch closely every bush and tree as if she wanted to keep in her mind and spirit a little bit of each. Actually, she was an outdoor person and would never say ‘no’ to a walk in the park or woods where Mother Nature was generously unfolding the eye myriads of colors: green, yellow, reddish, earthy… She would breathe together with the trees, listening to birds’ chirp. It was a noble crystal clear music enchanting the ears and spirit. She had never liked where she lived. An apartment building is like a prison, she thought. It feels like a bird cage, painfully small. She would’ve liked to fly away over the fields and rivers and trees… unfortunately this dream never came true and it seemed like chances to be fulfilled in the future grew thinner and thinner.

Roland came to her and shook her shoulder.

“Hey, daydreaming again? Come, the concert is about to start. You’ll love it, believe me! There are some instrumentalists from our orchestra…” Alina heard his voice as if it was coming from miles away. She was far away, a fairy surrounded by nymphs and angels ruling the great realm called ‘Nature’. She sat on a bench and admired the architecture of the park. It was simply fascinating!

Roland looked at her in despair. He tried to lift her from the bench but in vain. When she visited Versailles she was in awe, completely disconnected from reality. Every time she came here it was like being transported in a myth.

“Alina, I’m going there alone with the children!” Roland yelled at her left ear.

“Yes, yes, go ahead… I’m coming later. Please leave the children here. I want to tell them the story of this castle and this divine park.”

“I’m not leaving the children here. You’re completely absent today! I don’t know what’s wrong with you. You’re like on drugs or something, God forbid!” Roland said angrily and took Mark and Bertrand by their little hands urging them to go to the central aisle of the castle.

“Alright, I’m on drugs if you say so… I’m just awestruck, amazed and I’m in complete admiration of the nature. I’ll be back to reality when I leave this dreamy land. Listen to yourself! I’m on drugs… right!” She fumbled in her pocket for the cigarettes and lighter...

 

“Forgive me nature, but I just can’t live without a cigarettes!” She went to the forest not to be seen by the guards and squat down on the ground which became wet after the heavy rain from the previous evening. She lit her cigarette and inhaled deeply feeling that all her senses went numb before she remembered the first rape. Indeed it was a rape having sex without her will.

 

***

She saw the image of Cristi who pulled her blouse already torn by her mother and how she opposed as if it wasn’t her that girl who had been taken home by force… It seemed like she was cloned and she could see herself from above as if she was dead. Her spirit could see the slow movements that didn’t want to lead her home, but wanted to come back. It seemed like all these things didn’t happen to her… She was another person and could see herself acting in a movie in which she was pulled and pushed on the stairs that lead to the insalubrious basement where a sacrifice or sacrilege was going to occur.

 

They barely arrived in front of the door when her mother opened it angrily because the man who wanted to sleep with her didn’t have patience to wait for Alina anymore and was going to leave and find pleasure in some other place.

?Oh, you have finally found her? Where have you been little whore? You are trying to scare us? You think you are on your own here? You will do what I want, or else I will send you to the orphanage! Come on, captain Kiriachis is waiting for you.. You’ll see how generous he will be after you sleep with him!”

? Mother, you kill me with your words! Why do I have to sleep with this man? Are we really starving? I don’t understand, do you really want me to be like you? Don’t you wish more for your children?”

Alina did not know whether to cry or laugh. She was close to the old fat Greek who was staring at her and she imagined him already drolling. She started to laugh nervously, grabbed his hand and led him to the first room she saw. The Greek didn’t know Romanian at all, but he started to laugh foolishly, seeing Alina moving her hips and laughing nervously.

...

Alina closed the door behind them and suddenly became serious. She looked straight in the old sailor’s eyes and ordered him to take his cloths off. Kiriachis got scared and and made a few steps towards the door. Alina got in his way and pointed to the bad and telling him in Romanian:

?Old man, take off your clothes and get on the bed”.

? Look girl, I like you a lot. I want to marry you. If you want to sleep with me fine, if not I can leave right now”.

?You are not going anywhere, oldie”...said Alina laughing like crazy. I have to start somewhere with someone. I want to start with you. Take off your clothes” she ordered him again. Her blue eyes became purple at once. The light was on and Kiriachis tried to switch it off before taking his clothes off. Alina took his hand and squeezed it with so much anger that he finally gave up... His fear sticked out a mile as it was not about pleasure.

“Come on uncle, take those clothes off! Look, I am starting first”…and she began taking off her clothes in such haste that was not typically her at all. In fact she only had her blouse which has already been torn by her mother, a skirt and cotton underwear. She stood naked in front of him for a second, but the Greek was so terrified that he couldn’t do anything with her. He glanced at her with admiration and shame in the same time and gave her 100 dollars.

“Here is the payment, 100 dollars! For today it’s enough frumoasa! (he didn’t know much Romanian) but finally he could pronounce some words from his benumbed and dry throat by pomace and the fear of Alina, who seemed to be like a cat to him, but turned out to be a tigress in the end. He didn’t even open the buttons of his shirt to say nothing of the fly zipper and had already felt” satisfied” (he peed himself poor him)…

When Alina saw the payment, took it and glanced at it in the thin light of the bulb hanging from the ceiling. He took advantage of her inattention and ran away to the hall and from the hall directly outside, thanking God he was safe and sound after this adventure.

Alina got out of the room naked and triumphant with the 100 dollar banknote and told her mother:

?Here’s your money old trout! That’s how much you daughter’s virginity cost. Go and buy whatever you want eith it. I don’t need it!”

***

The cigareete has already burnt out and somebody was shaking her shoulders. She turned frightened to that person and tried to understand what was happening. She was back to present. It was one of the guardians who was speaking French, obviously asking her what she was doing among the trees from the park. Only then she realised how cold she was and stood up.

?Merci beaucoup, mon ami!” she said to the guard who found her lost through the trees. She headed for the grandiose castle trying to remove the leaves sticked on her coat.

When she passed through the big hall, she looked amazed at the imposing frescoes, the heavy and enormous chandeliers made of Murano glass or crystal descending to the visitors’ heads in an almost threatening way. The big hallway, which once was ballroom used during Sun King’s rule and all the other kings that followed him until the 1848 Revolution and after Napoleon, was flanked on both right and left sides by Greek colomns. At the end of the hallway you could hear Mozart’s music absorbed the whole opulent, beautiful harmonious and extravagant background which Alina always admired everytime she came here. This place was in strong contrast with the paupersm she had lived in before she came in France.

Suddenly the music stopped and you could hear the loud applauses of the audience that was echoing through the 100 meters long hallway and the crowd began to flow in the hallway . She almost arrived in the concert hall when Roland and the children got out and greeted her enthusiastically.

 

?Mommy, why didn’t you come in time to hear Mozart’s music?” Mark reproached her.

?It’s such a beutiful, cheerful and harmonious music... I have really enjoyed it, you know!”

?I arrived at the hall after the concert began and I didn’t want to disturb the orchestra”, lied Alina again. ?I have stayed here and saw the history with my eyes and listend to the genius of the simphonic music with my ears. So it’s double the win”

?Your former colleagues wanted to see you”, said Roland looking askance to his wife.

Where have you been? I came out to look for you and I haven’t found you anywhere!”

?Maybe you came out when I was at the toilet”, Alina smiled sardonically and took Bertie by his hand taking him out. ?Come dear, maybe you are hungry and it’s a long way home”.

?But mommy I want to pee and I am thirsty too”, hiccuped little Bertrand.

?Let’s go quickly to the toilet. Mark, come with us dear, you can’t hold it back!”

?You always find excuses”, concludes Roland. ?You still haven’t told me where you’ve been while we were at the”.

?But I’ve just told you! I’ve learnt more history than I’ve studied at any college” Alina answered quickly. ?Now you want to have discuss with me? Don’t you see I am busy with the kids? What would you like me to tell you?”

?I don’t want you to tell me anything! I know what I have to do”, Roland said to himself... He turned back and got out swiftly from the castle and heading to the car, mumbling nervously.

What is wrong with my wife? Has she fallen in love with some other man? Is there anyone else in her life or she has just gone nuts and I shall tolk to Dr. Neullie to see how we can help her.

He opened the car doors and started the engine to warm up the interior which seemed like a refrigerator and din’t want his children to catch a cold.

Alina came soon holding the two children by their hands and simulating happiness and cheerfulness, trying to end a discussion for which she couldn’t give real arguments but lies and only lies.

***

She was frustrated and afraid in the same time that she couldn’t confess to the dearest man in her life, the man who brought her back to the human condition that she had lost during the time in her native town Constanta, in the moment when she could have evolved from spiritual point of view not instinctively as she has been forced by her family to do.

On their way to Paris she smiled remembering the old man Kiriachis, who peed himself when he saw her. What followed was sadder and terrible... Her mother realised that between her and the old man nothing happened, so she introduced her many other men – tall as a mountain yet stupid as a bag of rocks who raped her many times just to inconvenience unsatisfied captain Kiriachis, who has never came there.

In that period Alina felt and lived like in prison. She was allowed to get out of the house just to go to school and came home quickly after that as she had work to do. Poor her she was not supposed to get out alone. She was always accompanied by Cristi or her mother and came back home with them too as she was a kid. She was not allowed to see or to talk to anyone as she was afraid to give herself away. Madame Mariana the pimp of her own daughter thought that what she was doing was a big secret and wondered why none of her neighbours didn’t call her to clean or to cook for them... Actually, all of them heard and knew that poor Mariana began to take advantage of her daughter and tought her the mysteries of the oldest profession in the world.

Alina knew that this was not the truth. Nobody tought her about the job. She had swallowed lot of sperm through all known body orifices until she threw up. She was thinking that this might never end as long as she would live and that only death would save her from this anguish – having sex with as many men as possible. She felt like a dead bovine hanging from a hook at the slaughter house, from which, every time a butcher came there would cut a chunk of meat. Slowly the cattle would get thinner and thinner having nothing but bones hanging fleshless. The hook bacame less rigid because of the disequilibrum caused by losing the burden. All these morbid feelingshaunted Alina in that terrible period of her life. She lost so much weight that time so that she was unrecognizable after one year of continuous rapes. Her neighbours were amazed that she was still alive for her skin was translucent and pale.

She began using tanning powder not to look livid and to cover the brown eye bags under her eyes, brought by Iorgos, one of the lovers who soon bacame her confessor and circumstantial friend.

He was 25 and he was funnier and kind than other hangmen who slept with her. They bagan walking together on the seashore holding their hands like two students in love with each other. Alina trusted him more than she wanted to. She learnt Greek and was trying hard to teach Iorgos Romanian and he really liked it.

The past year Alina grew up and got slimmer... She became a young lady with long brown curly hair and a doll face, with big blue eyes and a sad look which most of the times she was trying to hide it with a fake happiness. When she was with Iorgos she felt free like a bird in the sky which never came back on the ground where real world laid. In fact this was like a mud through which she was dragging.

***

She heard the sound of a sudden brake and scared opened her eyes. She realized that they had already arrived HOME, yes at their home in a fancy villa situated on Champs élisées... With a sigh of relief she returned to reality. Already tired she hardly got off the personally owned SUV and looke at her boys gamboling on the square. She smiled sadly thinking that she didn’t have a normal, playful childhood and in the same time she had a feeling of fullfilment being surrounded by her beloved husband; her husband who gave her some clothes to take them upstairs and the children who couldn’t be persuaded to come inside. She started to shout with laughter and to run aftyer them around the fountain, playing tag with them.

Roland smiled contentedly and entered the building with his hands full of packages and clothes. He was starving and couldn’t wait to lie down on the couch and watch TV.

Eventually, Alina managed to convince her children to come inside the house. It was mealtime and for Roland and his family was a rule to serve lunch togther every Sunday.

?Come on Mark, Bertie! Madlaine is waiting for us with the luch” Alina urged them seeing that thetwo kids had no intention to come. ?Come on, I am tired to run after you”.

?Ha-ha” the two bloys laughed. ?Catch us if you can! We want to stay out! We haven’t played all day long. Please let us stay a little more”, the kids yelled in unison.

?I can’t let you stay out now. Look, we make a deal. You come inside, eat and then you go back to play. Is it ok?”

?Yes, yes”, said Mark as he was the oldest and always had the courage to confront his mother. ?We are coming now....”

They entered the house and both crowded in the bathroom from the big hall to wash their hands. Alina desperately yelled behind them:

?Don’t you little devils have to take off your shoes first and you kackets and then go to the bathroom?”

“Yes momy you are right but we were in a hurry because we wanted to pee”

Alina was left without arguments and left them with the nanny. She went to the marital bedroom and put on a blue costume and then to the private bathroom to wash her hands. She looked in the big crystal mirror for a moment. She saw a person that was different from the one she saw 10 years ago. Now she was a French woman with natural curly hair and a special haircut which seemed that someone had always done her hair. She couldn’t recognize her look and her eyes in the mirror. She became a fine respectable woman, with a severe and playful look which would never go unnoticed and would stir up envy in the former colleagues from the orchestra where she had played many years ago. Obviously that she lost weight and now she was a normal woman. She was much taller than the French women and her flawless straight body-build made many men think of her when she interacted with them. Among them was Jacques Neullie, a renowned psychologist in Paris, a good friend of her husband. Every time they met he was trying to court her discreetly and always gave her small presents. When he visited them he never came bare hands. He always had a box of French pralines which Alina and the kids simply loved…

Roland came to see what she was doing and she didn’t come down for the lunch. She found her admiring herself in the mirror and thinking when he last saw his wife gussying up in the mirror and he reched the conclusion: never.

Before she noticed him, he stood a moment in front of the bathroom door, admiring the woman whom he had taken from the street 10 years ago out of pity and suddenly he felt jealous. He strated to doubt of his wife for the first time since they were together. The jealousy started to grow stronger in his mind and didn’t leave him alone...

He gently apostophized her and she winced at the sound of his voice. That made him even more suspicious.

?Alina what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you come to eat? We have all gathered there and waiting for you. We have already straved!”

What’s the matter with you? I was admiring myself and I realized that I have lost some weight. I look sexier, don’t I?

?Well, thinking of your depression there is no wonder you’ve lost weight. You barely eat something. You have nightmares, you are absent-minded, the family is not you concern anymore as it used to be... I will call Jacques to make an appointment. He has his own methods to bring you back in this world again. I don’t have any doubts and even if you had to stay in a sanatorium for a few months, I don’think it would be bad for you, what do you say?”

?What do I say? Have you lost your mind?Do you want me to admit I am insane? How could you send me in a sanatorium? Do I look like a mentally deranged person? What reason do you have to rech this conclusion, Roland?” yelled Alina terrified by her husband’s idea. She suddenly turned to him and slapped him in a Romanian manner on his delicate French cheeks. Her totally unusual reaction and the gesture she had never done since then, confused him and left him wordless not being able to have any reaction after he was slapped.

?Alina, either you have completely lost your mind or you have a lover. The gesture you have just made does nothing but to confirm what I suspected.

I thought that the melancholy and the fact that you are abstent-minded is caused by spending too much time home and you don’t socialize, but the fact that you became nervous and you even slapped me makes me think about other reasons that I suspected until now. Burning with anger and wrath ordered her with a raucous voice:

?I am inviting you in the dining room to eat dinner. Tomorrow first thing I’ll make an appointment to the doctor. If you don’t agree I’ll take you by force”.

Alina was amazed about her own foolish reaction. She had to admit that she had nervous breakdown and that she couldn’t hide so many lies which eventually poisoned her soul and changed her behaviour towards her husband and children whom she worshiped and couldn’t imagine life without them. Ashamed of her own reaction she lowered her head and got out of the bathroom like a robot that had a malfunction and was not able to respont to its orders.

They ate quietly avoiding each other and all afternoon. When the night fell over the City of lights, Roland came into the marital bedroom just to take his silk pajamas and his favorite cushion. He didn’t say a word and avoided Alina’s insistent look. She was sitting on the bed with a romance novel in her hands that she was reading. She didn’t expect to be in such a critical situation and she never thought since they were together that Roland could have been so hurt that he refused to sleep in the same bed with her.

?What are you doing Roland? Don’t you come to bed? Don’t tell me that you won’t sleep in the same bed with me tonight!

?No, we won’t sleep together as long as I don’t recognize you because of your strange reactions. The fact that you slapped me makes me confused. I realized that I have lived in the same house and shared the same bed with a stranger – a woman whom I have taken from the street and I know nothing about her. Your gesture makes me sick. You know me and my family and how I behaved with you and the kids in all these years. I’ve never laid a finger on you or the kids. I don’t know why you got mad when I told you to go and see a psychiatrist. Strating with this evening you are no longer my wife and don’t ask me to sleep in the same bedroom until you are fully mentally recovered. Since you can’t do all these things alone I let you choose: either we go to doctor Jacques and accept a treatment,hospitalization or who knows what methods he might have either you pack your bags and you leave all alone.

?How can you throw me out and take my kids? Alina yelled hysterically throwing the book and jumping off the baldachin bed like a tigress.

?See? You are going crazy again!” Yelled Roland. You are hiding something from me, maybe something from your past that you are ashamed or scared of. Or maybe it’s someone...

?What mystery has haunted you for the past months and you can not confess it to me? I thought I am your lover, your confident for life. For a good period of time you seem not to be able to breathe in this house, sweat abundantly, have nightmares, you are almost always sad, you don’t communicate with me as you used to do... I’ve asked you many times what was wrong with you and you lied me that you are missing your mother. It’s strange how you suddenly remembered that you have a mother when I asked to have the documents sent from Romania. Now I realize how little I know you. . I don’t know where you come from who are your relatives your mother, brother or father, what kind of childhood had… I don’t know any of these things and it’s like I can see clearly now and I understand and I fell in love with a complete stranger that I met on the street playing an old flute and begging for few cents to all the passersby.”

“God, don’t remind me of that time. Yes, I was a beggar in a foreign country but know this: I’ve never begged in my own country. We were poor but never starving and had an apartment, a roof over our heads.” Alina said with a hoarse voice fearing she would end up on the streets again.

“Roland, please forgive me! I’m not going to repeat this mistake as long as I live and I promise I’ll go to Dr. Neullie tomorrow morning. I know I must act strangely but I have the feeling that something is going to happen to me. I can’t explain it, it’s like a premonition… but all these I shall tell to Jacques.”

“I want us to go together. You’re not going alone to the clinic. And there’s Jacques there… he may be my friend but when it comes to you I don’t trust him.”

“Why is that? He is your best friend after all. Why can’t I go alone? We’ve known each other for years.”

“That’s the problem. You know each other and he’s courting you. I hope you’re not that blind. Can you pretend you haven’t noticed?”

“Uh, I’ve noticed it alright but does it really matter? I’m not interested in him as a man but as a therapist. I suppose I could go to another doctor if it really bothers you.”

“No, I don’t agree. If you go to another therapist I shall never be able to control you and I’ll never know the reason of your depression. With a little help from Jacques I’ll find all the information I need.”

“Ooh, a small dosage of paranoia cannot hurt, can it? Let’s spend some time together at the clinic. You don’t sound like a sane person yourself.”

“Please don’t make any jokes. May I remind you that we’re still at war? Good night then!” He went out of the room with a grin.

Alina remained motionless like a statue on the big bad with baldaquin watching her husband walk away from her. She felt her heart crumbling into dust. She searched for the Valium bottle on the night stand and swallowed it without any drop of water. Valium has been her best friend for the last few months. Only this drug could give her some peace in the night chasing away the nightmare of remembering her past.

She lowered her pillow and turned off the lamp desperately trying to get some sleep…

 

***

 

She suddenly recalled the horrible moment when Iorgos came to tell her that he was not going to be able to see her again and she understood his reasons. He was desperately trying to convince her that he was summoned to report for the military service and that in Greece this service took three years and he didn’t want her to wait for him. She didn’t believe a word and cried her heart out hearing the news for she was in love with this nice guy who had never treated her like a hooker that she actually was. Iorgos kept saying that he had to report for the military service and one day he vanished in the thin air as if he had never been with her. Alina fell into a depression crying all day at the thought she had lost not only her friend but the only protector she had. He defended her the time he stayed in Romania and Alina waited for him feverishly to return from the voyage on the sea. Time passed quickly and one day Cristi barged into her room giving the news:

“Look sister, I’m sharing a secret with you but don’t tell anybody. It’s a big secret.”

“Alright, let’s hear it!”

“Yo, I graduated from high school and there’s no future in this country. I play music at weddings and christening parties but to hell with it. I hate it! There must be more than… this.”

“What do you mean?” Alina inquired with a grin. She knew her brother; a clever cunning dude who wouldn’t hesitate to do anything for money.

“You hear me, sis? I’m taking off! I will not stay a second more in this shitty country.”

“Ho, slow down, don’t get so excited! The old bitch called mother might hear you and when she gets angry… you know, I don’t think we’ll get out of here alive.”

“Right, sis let’s lower our voices. So, I found a ship and the captain agreed to let me travel on board. I’ll get out of this freakin’ country.”

“What about me? You’re not taking me with you?” Alina interrogated.

“Uh… not really. I know the captain. ‘Met him some years ago. His name is Mihai.”

“Like I care what his name is.”

“You’ll care the moment I tell you.”

“Ok, tell me already. Amaze me. It’s like I’m a hundred years or something. None of the things that happen amazes me anymore.”

“ This’ll be good for you. Shut up and listen carefully. This guy Mihai saw you on the street and liked you a lot. He’d like you to move in with him. He has a nice apartment with all the stuff you need. I know that he wants to marry you.”

“What? You didn’t tell him anything about me, did you? I’m sure he doesn’t have any idea of what I do for living. Nevermind, if he doesn’t know he’ll soon find out from others.”

“He’s not gonna find out anything. Don’t you see what a doll face you have? What the f..k, don’t you trust me a little? You’ll be the queen of the house sista’. Don’t you see? You shoot two birds with one stone: disappear and get rid of the old bag.”

“No way! She’ll find me anywhere. You know it’s not wise to bother the crazy old bag. She’ll die of heart attack when she hears this. Now, tell me how old is this guy Mihai?”

“Thirty five I guess. He’s tall slender blond, not like those guys you know, all bones no guns. You’ll see he’s for real and brings all kinds of stuff from his voyages: jeans, jackets, fabrics, skirts, pants, coffee, cigarettes, gold…You struck it lucky sis!”

“Don’t call me sis! Ok, enough with this nonsense. I want meet him, can’t wait to get out of this dump. I’ll never look back. And I really hope we’ll manage to escape ‘cause if the beldam catches us we’re dead!”

“Listen, you know what the captain told me? He’ll marry you to help lose your tracks.”

“Come on, don’t full around. You don’t joke with these things. Something’s wrong with him if he hasn’t got married by now. May he’s an impotent or something…” Alina doubted.

“Heigh-ho! I didn’t test him, I’m not gay you know? But I can tell you that he’s been giving us money for the last months.”

“Oh, now I get it. That explains why I have time to catch my breath. What about the papers? I’m a minor remember?”

“Are you kidding me? You’re sixteen, don’t need the mother’s consent. Just steal the birth certificate and ID from her and off you go! Within two weeks you’re a Mrs.”

“And what will be my name?”

“Coman. Your future husband’s name is Mihai Coman.”

“Nice name. I don’t even know the guy but I already find him interesting. You just couldn’t help to sell me, could you? Nooo, you couldn’t. The pimp inside you was screaming fresh meat, huh? I see your print in every dumbass-thing you do. I hope that once you get there you’ll become a new man. By the way, what were you saying it was the destination?”

“Um… we’ll see. I think I’m going to disembark at Amsterdam and from there I’m going to Germany. Some guys are waiting for me with a car ready to pass the border. I’ll apply then for asylum for persecution reasons.”

“Persecution? What persecution?”

“Oh well, we’re gypsies by our father and we don’t have the same rights with the Romanians, do we?”

“The hell we don’t! Cristi, do you listen to yourself? But… well, if this is working why not? Good luck!”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks. First thing I have to do is move you in with the guy. I don’t wanna leave you here with the old bag. I don’t trust her at all. She’ll end up selling you piece by piece and now that you’re all bones she’ll not be happy with the money she takes.” Cristi said winking a grin.

Alina arranged the pillow all creased after the tossing and turning. She couldn’t sleep at all. Nightmares came back again to haunt her and she wanted badly to fall asleep and forget about everything.

Comfortably lying on the bed with the king size pillow under her head she recalled what happened after…

 

25.01.2015

ALMA JANE SIRBU

MY NEW NOVEL ON THE FIRST DRAFT.

PLEASE READ IT AND CRITIQUE!!!