Prospecting and Mental Health

I spend most of my time on LinkedIn trying to connect with new prospects. In fact I spend most of ALL of my time trying to connect with new prospects. The reason being, I have goals and desires like everyone else. I want to afford vacations, kids, a bigger home, a better financial situation, etc.

While I enjoy networking and connecting with others a majority of the time, the truth is, sometimes it takes a negative toll. I feel like a bother to others. I am constantly asking for things (meetings, lunch, zoom calls, drinks, whatever), and it makes me feel kind of icky and annoying. I know that it is very rarely received that way, but I think it is part of the imposter syndrome that so many advisors and sales people feel. Even writing this right now, I don't know if I really want to post it, for fear of being received as an imposter, but maybe others feel the same way? With that being said I guess I wanted to post this for two reasons:

1. If you are in the same boat as me, know that you are not alone. Feel free to connect with me and we can be miserable together.
2. If you are new to sales or financial advising, be prepared for some of the most difficult times of your life. It takes years to even feel like your head is above water and you are still trying to stay afloat even then.

I don't really have a solution for this problem, something that I hate since I am a control freak, but I felt like sharing. After placing tons or ignored emails, calls, messages, etc., I feel a little worn down at the end of the day. When I thought about the difficulties that were going to come along with this career path I did not adequately prepare myself for how mentally draining prospecting is. Now that I have gotten my complaining out of the way, I want to share a few things that have helped me as well as some things that have hindered me. Please take these as you will, and feel free to chime in with other successes and failures you have found.

Be honest with yourself and others

Be honest with yourself and others. You shouldn't expect to know everything when you start out, but you can always respond with "Let me find out and I will get back to you." People can sniff our pretenders, and lying to yourself is a quick way to drive down your self-worth.

Talk up your competition, not down

You will not win the caliber of clients you want by talking down their current advisor, competitor, etc. People appreciate kindness towards others, and degrading others rarely ends with a win and you feel bad doing it. That being said, I still let a few things slip now and then when it comes to certain people, but it is on my goal list to be better at.

Spread as many seeds as far, fast, and heavy as possible

This is my number 1 regret from when I first started. It was so difficult to make those initial calls the first year and tackle that project 200 that so many of us were first given. However, if I would have contacted all those people 5 years ago, who knows how many more clients would be ready for harvest right now. Even 5 years later I still run into friends/acquaintances who have no idea that I left the golf world 5 years ago and work as an advisor now. It is no one's fault but my own for not calling them all those years ago and letting them know. While it has been 5 years in my mind, I am just starting in theirs.

Exercise, Exercise, Exercise

This has been the greatest thing I have started doing. To be candid, the stress put me in a bad spot a few years ago and my drinking and mental health got out of hand. To the point where it was hurting my career as well. One day I decided I needed a change and started training for a marathon. A year and a half later, I feel great physically, and a post work gym session really helps lower the stress levels. How I appear to others has improved greatly, and I believe it has really helped my credibility. Being in shape and having more energy is a plus as well.

Always be learning

The best way to defeat Imposter Syndrome is by becoming an expert. There are no shortage of designations, podcasts, webinars, articles, resources, etc. out there for you to learn from. One of the greatest resources out there are your wholesalers. Spend some time getting to know who the product/service people are that serve you and they will be more than happy to teach you everything they know. They smarter you are the better equipped you are to sell their product/service. Another essential resource is social media groups. Join an advisor group on Facebook, through your home office, Linkedin, Reddit, etc. Plenty of others to learn from and share experiences with.

Celebrate success as much as possible

When 99 doors get shut in your face, you need to celebrate the 1 that doesn't. These small victories are refreshing and key to being able to continue when times are really tough.

You are where you are meant to be - Enjoy it

This is another huge mistake I have made over the last few years, and still make now. The part of the journey you are in, is exactly where you are supposed to be. Take time to embrace and enjoy the journey. I know you are not where you want to be but you are better than where you were yesterday. Each mistake you make betters you, and we have to make those mistakes in order to grow. We need to enjoy the part of the journey we are in knowing that we won't get this time back. You will eventually reach your goal, but that time is way in the future. No reason to waste the time that we are given right now.

Develop your own successes and failures and share with others!

I love getting to know other advisors. It is nice to know that others have the same experiences and that you are not alone. With that being said, please share with me what you have experienced. I would love to grow with you!