The Proposal

Proposing to pop the question this Christmas? Here are the 5 key things to remember to turn “Will You?” into “Yes, I Will”!

It’s no coincidence that 8 of the 10 most popular days of the year to get engaged fall over the Christmas and New Year period. The combination of glistening frost, crackling log fires and twinkling Christmas lights cast this time of year in a romantic glow, providing the perfect backdrop to your holiday proposal.

But the season of goodwill presents its own pitfalls. With that in mind, here are our 5 tips to make sure your proposal is a cracker and not a turkey.

1. Location, Location, Location

You’ve decided the who and the when, now you have to choose the where. The setting can bring a breath-taking romance to your proposal and makes it personal and unique to only the two of you. It can be somewhere significant to your relationship – where your eyes first met or where you went for your first date. It can be somewhere of personal significance to your partner – somewhere special from their childhood or the scene of an important event in their lives. Or it can be somewhere the two of you have talked about or dreamed about, a symbol of your future together.

Wherever you choose to ask the question, make sure you’ve considered it from your partner’s perspective. Are they shy and do they hate crowds? If so, dropping to one knee on Grafton Street on Christmas Eve might bring them out in a cold sweat. On the other hand, if they love the drama of a big performance, a quiet setting might be a disappointing anti-climax!

And don’t forget that everywhere is going to be a little bit different at Christmas. The romance of the fireside in your cosy local pub might fade when all the seats are taken and you’re desperately trying to maintain a 2-metre distance from the office party at the next table.

2. Yule be lucky!

A proposal at Christmas has to make the most of Christmas so don’t be afraid to milk it for all it’s worth! Hide the ring among the decorations on the tree. Or put it in a little barrel and hang it around your pooch’s neck. Or hide it in a Christmas cracker. Get some carollers to serenade an accompaniment to the big question. Did you think of assembling a cast and playing out your own panto? Oh no you didn’t!

Of course, this time of year brings its own challenges, too. The weather can scupper the best-laid plans so make sure you have a contingency in case the elements don’t play ball. Everywhere will be that much busier, too, so plan well in advance, particularly if you will need to make any reservations. Remember, also, that the general level of “noise” is higher at Christmas time. People are busy with their own plans and they might be so distracted by all the shiny things that your big event just passes them by.

And we don’t want to be the Brussels sprout hidden under the ham, but what if the answer is no? Is that going to cast a shadow over every Christmas to come?

Christmas can be a magical backdrop to your proposal, so make the most of the season – it could be the difference between It’s A Wonderful Life and going Home Alone!

3. Keep it simple, stupid

The internet is awash with epic proposal fails – don’t be just another Christmas GIF! A six-husky sled looks great in the movies but it’s not going to work in Carlow, despite the inch-and-a-half of snow that has brought the country to a halt. Writing out the question in the snow or in big lights on the roof might work for Matthew McConaughey but is it really going to work for you?

Keep the moving parts to a minimum, particularly if the proposal is going to be a big surprise to your partner. Stay flexible, too, bearing in mind that this time of year could throw any number of spanners in your works.

The best advice is to start with the basics and work your way up from there. The most important thing is that you get to ask the question without distraction and with no possibility that you might be misunderstood – a joke isn’t funny if you have to explain it! With that set as the centre-piece to your tableau, you can then add the accessories, the supporting cast and the special effects. Just make sure that if any of those fail, you still get to do what you came to do.

4. It’s a Team Game

Your proposal, first and foremost, is about the two of you. But it’s also about the important people in your lives – your family and friends. They will be excited and delighted for you and their love and support will make it all the more special.

The first thing to consider is asking permission. Traditionally, the prospective groom will ask the father of the prospective bride for his blessing – and that can be quite daunting in some traditions! But family dynamics might mean that you actually shouldn’t ask his permission or for his blessing. Is he estranged from his daughter or do they just not get along? Does he have a new family or has he remarried? Is he being invited to the wedding? You and your partner might already have been living together for years – you might even have children – so asking for his permission now might seem a little redundant. That ship, clearly, has sailed! Maybe you simply take him for a drink to tell him your plans, giving you a bonding opportunity and offering him a token of your respect.

Family structures might make it more appropriate to ask others for their support. If your partner has children, for example, you might want to bring them into the secret and ask for their blessing. Likewise, if your partner has a particularly close sibling or friend, it might be a nice gesture to give them a heads-up before the event.

The second thing to do is plan a celebration with all of those you hold dearest. At this time of year, that will inevitably require a lot of planning and co-ordination. People may be travelling for the holidays and venues will be booked-up well in advance, especially if bar and restaurant openings are restricted. So, make sure you get in touch with people early but make sure, too, that there will be no leaks or spoilers – it’s on a need-to-know basis only!

5. All you have to do is ask…

So, you know where you’re going. You’ve got all your seasonal accessories in place – but you’re keeping it practical. You’ve told everybody who should be told. Now it’s just a question of asking the question.

The first thing to think about is the ring. There are lots of things to consider when it comes to picking the piece of jewellery that will be a reminder of this day and a part of your lives for all of your lives. Do you propose with the “real thing” on the day or use a “placeholder” and go shopping together when the deal is done? What style of ring, what kind of diamond, how much should you spend? Are there any traditions in your partner’s heritage and background that must be respected? It’s a minefield so hopefully you’ve given it some thought already – if not, have speak to a reputable Jeweller as they will have plenty of useful advice and information to guide you.

The moment of your engagement is a unique and special one that you will want to relive again and again. Are you going to have the proposal recorded for posterity? A friend hiding in the bushes with a camera or a drone with an aerial view could capture the all-important moment – and delete it immediately if it all goes wrong!

Finally, tradition might demand that you announce your engagement to the world so think about how and where you want to post the news and about what you will say to the world. Unlike a digital photo, these are words you can never delete!

There are as many ways to pop the question as there are question-poppers. Will you marry me? Will you hang your washing next to mine? Will you be the named driver on my car insurance? It doesn’t matter how you ask the question – all that matters is the answer.

If you follow our 5 tips for a Christmas proposal, we’re sure Santa will bring everything you want this year!

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