Promises Kept, Trust Earned: The Cornerstone of Effective Leadership

Today I’d like to talk about leadership in the context of relationships—both the inter- and the intra- personal kind. When I think about what it takes to foster a strong, meaningful relationship that stands the test of time, of course, “trust” comes up. But when I peel back the layers further, I see that trust is but a by-product of this other, oft-overlooked trait. It is the ability to keep promises. It’s quite simple, really: don’t over-promise and then under-deliver.

In every aspects of life, our relationships form the bedrock of our success and happiness. Whether we are leading a team at work, managing a project, or nurturing friendships and family bonds, the trust we build is invaluable. And trust is built, first and foremost, by keeping our word.

We have all experienced a time in our lives when somebody made a promise they didn’t keep, forever changing our perception of that person. As a leader, it is crucial that you do not let your people down—that you do not let yourself down. So if you’ve promised yourself that you will wake up at 5 am starting tomorrow, for instance, and then defer that tomorrow unto the next sunrise, what do you think happens in your internal world? Your subconscious will forever be at odds with your conscious mind, creating internal discontent which will likely manifest in some physical or emotional condition.

When it comes to others, it creates a similar disharmony, with an erosion of trust that eventually grows into a crater so big neither of you can cross over anymore.

On that dire note (!), let’s examine the scenery on the other side of the coin.

The Power of Keeping Promises ??

When we make a promise, we set an expectation. Whether it's a commitment to deliver a project on time, a declaration to support a friend in need, or an assurance to be present for a family event, these promises are more than just words. They are the threads that weave the fabric of our relationships. When we keep these promises, we reinforce the threads, making the fabric that much stronger, more resilient. And in keeping a promise to ourselves, we add another brick to our wall of integrity.

Leadership and Integrity ??

Great leaders understand the importance of integrity. They recognize that their ability to lead effectively hinges on the trust and respect they garner from their team. This trust is built over time through consistent actions and the fulfilment of promises. Leaders who keep their promises set a standard for their team, creating a culture of accountability and reliability.

By avoiding the temptation to over-commit, leaders manage expectations realistically. They communicate transparently about what can reliably be achieved and by when, ensuring that their team and stakeholders are always in the loop. This approach not only builds trust but also nurtures a sense of security and stability within the team.

Mind you, this is not to say that you shouldn’t have moonshot goals—of course you must! The guidance here pertains purely to the relational. The communication there needs to be tempered to avoid making tall claims or bold pledges when you have neither the will nor ability to guarantee those. Human interaction does not come with T&Cs disclaimers—and should not, if trust is the objective.

I can hear some of you saying, “But that’s just too hard!” So here we go, a playbook of sorts.

Practical Steps to Keep Your Promises ??

Be Realistic: Before making a promise, assess your capacity to deliver. Consider the resources, time, and support you have at your disposal. Avoid the trap of agreeing to unrealistic demands just to please others in the moment.

Communicate Clearly: Make sure your promises are clear and understood by all parties involved. Ambiguity can lead to misunderstandings and unmet expectations.

Prioritise: Sometimes, despite our best intentions, unforeseen circumstances can prevent us from keeping our promises. When this happens, prioritise your commitments and communicate any changes as soon as possible. Even when the recipient of that message is you!

Follow Through: Once a promise is made, do everything in your power to fulfil it. Your dedication to seeing it through, even when it becomes challenging, speaks volumes about your character and reliability.

As a side note, self-discipline, I’d once read, is doing something even when it’s inconvenient to follow through. Build that muscle in your system, for it is another crucial trait of a leader! (I’ll park that one for another time).

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In summary, personal and professional leadership is not just about vision and strategy; nor is it purely about the apparent attributes of trust, integrity, and presence. At the heart of it, it is all about the strength of our relationships, within and without. By only committing to what we know we can uphold, and then keeping our promises, come rain or shine, we not only enhance our own credibility but also inspire those around us to do the same.

In the end, be the person who can own the phrase: “my word is my bond,” and you will have etched an indelible footprint on the path leading you to the summit. ???