Projection and Envy: Roadblocks to Communication...and Happiness
"The meaning of your communication is the response you get." - Gregory Bateson
We all have bad days. Have you ever felt that if it wasn't for all of those other people life would be much easier?
After decades of frustration with trying to understand 'those other people', I decided to look at myself as the potential problem, or at least a big part of the problem.
That changed my perspective and my life. What I learned may be helpful to you.
Two things can get in the way of happiness, good relationships and effective communication: 1) Envy and 2) Projection.
ENVY is when we look at someone else and think, "If I could be like them, or have what they have, then I would be happier." But the fact is that you are not exactly like anyone else. You are unique. Just like everybody else. So learn to work with who you really are and what you have. For example, those who play sports have teammates who have different physiques and skills than they do.
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PROJECTION is when we look at someone else and think, "If they could be more like me, or have what I have, then they would be happier." This would mean that all people are the same as you, and want what you want. The differences between you and others makes life interesting. And wouldn't it be rather boring if everyone was like you?
Neither of these views is either helpful or effective.
In fact, both of these views will make you and everyone else around you unhappy.
Here are a few suggestions that may help you get some breakthroughs.
Try this today and your life may be easier, less stressful and more fun.