Creating Your Best Life

While writing Creating Your Best Life, I accomplished one of the hardest things I’d ever done, and in the process of doing it, I redefined who I was to myself - a moment that only comes along a few times in life, if you’re lucky.?

The backstory: one year before this picture was taken, I was quoted in a New York Times article about bucket lists. That led to an interview on NPR, and then a phone call from the head of acquisitions at Sterling Publishing, a division of Barnes & Noble.

“Any chance you could turn what you were talking about into a book really quickly? Your point of view is really unique and I’ve never heard it before.”

He was right. My Capstone project for my Masters degree in Applied Positive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania in 2006 had woven together the science of happiness with the science of goal setting and success. I knew when I wrote it that it was new, powerful and important, especially because that knowledge was missing from the mass market in spite of the ubiquity of goal setting books.?

I said yes. He told me to get a co-author somewhere because I would have to turn in the book in six months - the shortest deadlines they’d given any author for a 256-page, evidence-based book. I asked a professor who I’d heard about, got him both an agent and a contract, we divided up the chapters, and off we went.

Within weeks a crisis erupted. My co-author’s writing was deemed unusable and I was told I’d have to write the whole thing. We couldn’t rewrite the contracts and still get the book out on deadline, so I swallowed hard and agreed I could live with his name on the book.

I couldn’t focus in my home office with three children coming and going constantly, in addition to the plethora of carpools, so my family agreed that I had to go somewhere else that was isolated and away from everyone. I borrowed friends’ beach homes, apartments, and empty offices. I wrote for twelve hours a day, frantically researching, typing and editing all day, every day.

My arms went into spasms and the only way to continue was to wrap my arms with ice packs the moment I woke up. One day I went to get a massage and when I turned my back to take off my shirt, the therapist gasped and told me that my body was covered in hives. After never having a medical issue, I suddenly developed high blood pressure and went on medication. I told everyone I was writing a book called “Creating Your Best Life” and they told me I should write a different book.

But I did it. I made the deadline against all odds, and when I drove back home from my last writing stint of two isolated weeks on the Delaware Shore, I called my agent to celebrate. “Ivor, I did it!” I exulted. “I did something I didn’t think I could do, and I think I’ve redefined who I am to myself, and what I’m capable of.” And I had.?

I missed my children’s regattas, swim meets and other important events. My husband, never a cook, melted tomato paste one night while attempting to fill in for me. Once when I called I heard them yelling in the background, “Come home, Mom! We have no food!”

“Creating Your Best Life” was published in January 2008 to rave reviews and a coveted red star in Publisher’s Weekly for its pioneering approach to goal setting. My children sat in the front row of my first book signing and led a standing ovation after I spoke. In 2021 it was reissued as a global bestseller that has been translated into many languages. It’s still ranked as one of the best books on success ever written, ranked right up there with Dale Carnegie and Steven Covey.

The next time someone reaches out with an offer, a challenge or an opportunity to do something that will stretch you so far out of your comfort zone that you have no idea if you will succeed, grab that brass ring. If you never are scared to death with your back up against the wall, you may never find out what you’re made of, who your friends are, or how proud you can be of yourself.?

Make this the year you create your own best life, too. And if you’re looking for a book that can help you, I might have a tip for you!

Link to order Creating Your Best Life:?

https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Your-Best-Life-Ultimate/dp/1402779984