Those amazing wizards of quality assurance

Currently, Steve Sayer is a workplace safety *consultant #accredited auditor to *OSHA, *EPA, *#GFSI, *USDA, *FDA, *Human Resources, *#and Humane Handling of feed birds and animals and is a technical writer for multiple industries, as well as a part-time maintenance worker for California State Beaches.

(The views and opinions expressed in this blog are strictly those of the author.)

By Steve Sayer

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Stop and contemplate the many pressures, anxieties and responsibilities quality assurance (QA) personnel have nearly everyday at USDA plants.

They get phone calls 24/7/365.

Just moments after they arrive home from another long day at work - while watching their dogs running figure-eight circles on the slippery wooden floor - they receive a text message from “head of sales” needing an approved label by 5:00 AM tomorrow morning - that’ll include two new allergens.

They listen patiently to the USDA’s genuine concerns regarding peeling paint,?“by the lower floorboard”?at the entrance lobby while being paged by the plant manager.?

For temporary relief of it all, irritated customers are energized by a simple push of a button and shrunk down into flashing red squared semaphores on the QA’s desk telephone as multiple customers plead in vain while listening to the Bee Gees sing ‘Tragedy’ for their certificates of analysis.?

Whether I'm auditing or consulting, it's QA that I eye.?

QA’s are the go-to-ones that answers all of those demanding questions.

The pressure cooker always peaks when 3rd?party audits are scheduled.?It's time to ensure that the blood-splashed HACCP/ SSOP paperwork is filed with no initials, signatures, or dates missing.

There’s never a ‘The End’ in QA like there are in the movies.

Only sequels.

QA personnel have always demonstrated different levels of competency; nothing unusual about that. Within my first 20 minutes, I can sense the experience of the person I’m working with. Body language always evinces what’s to be expected for the two-or-three day rodeo.??

There have been times when I've walked back to my rental asking myself,?“whose consulting or auditing whom?”?That's fine because I enjoy learning from QA Wizards.

They have a lot to offer.?

I respect and enjoy observing too, those hard working minimum waged workers that clear the production floors of dropped meat. Such workers lend keen insights to their training and the inherent culture of an establishment.

Dorothys

Some QA’s have reminded me of Dorothy (regardless of gender) from the "The Wizard of Oz"?movie.?

Their quest to fulfilling their responsibilities is there, but they still remain short of being confident of themselves and their surroundings. They can visualize what they want, but they’re still not certain just how to get there.

I like Dorothys when consulting, because they are usually wide-open to suggestions that they will absorb quickly – like a sponge when placed on top of spilled milk.

Totos

The ones that can prove tough are like Dorothy’s dog, Toto.

Totos have shown to be the consummate “yes man/woman” when questioned. They appear as strung out as the Taco Bell Chihuahua while chewing on a femur bone by a California freeway. If asked what FSIS Directive double 07 is, they’ll bark back-?"Ah, yea?!”

Cowardly Lions/Scarecrows

All the cowardly lions and scarecrows need is time, patience and to ask questions. The more questions forwarded, the quicker and easier it all becomes. They all have unlimited potential. The sky is not their limit.

They’re simply green horned rookies, fresh out of school and learning not only what organoleptic means, but discovering just how tough it is to detox from excessive thumb texting.

Tin Men (people)

I like Tin people because when a tough opportunity is remedied, they get so excited that they seem to shoot smoke straight out of their tin can pipe hat. They love their job. Tin people have their quality control act together and are just a step or two away from being an all-out Wizard.

Every one of the above can take a ride on that elevated balloon of QA --- if they want it bad enough. If they continue to enlighten themselves by scouring dusty library shelves and the deep, deep domains of the WWW for answers to their questions, doubts, and fears.

Such efforts always increase one’s self-confidence, courage, and added brain wattage that’ll lead to becoming a QA Wizard with a humbled (hopefully) heart.

Such character attributes will guide them up and over to the yellow brick road of success.

QA Wizards

In the movie, the Wizard of Oz himself ultimately knew all of the emerald qualities that the other five were seeking.

Real life QA Wizards reign nearly everywhere and know their operations just like Frank Sinatra knew how to sing, “New York, New York.”?

It’s always smooth music to my ears when these Wizards mention cryptic FSIS Directives dating back almost to the last century, such as, the allowable water retention of hanging beef carcasses (Jan. 9, 2001, Federal Reg., Volume 66, No. 6) that take cold showers till the sun rises in the east.

If we’re honest, we’ve all been one or all of these characters -- including those nightmarish winged monkeys and those witches that always seem to hover by brick chimneys -- regardless if we are green, brown, ebony or ivory in color - and- notwithstanding gender.

2/17/2017 Meatingplace.com