Progress 101: Static Friction

Thank You...

for being here. I hope I can do justice to the time you will be investing on this page.

Introduction

Back in August 2021, I committed to posting 1 article every week. I managed to maintain my streak till last week when I finally let it slide. Even though I had the topic in mind, I wasn't feeling super enthusiastic about it and kept on procrastinating. The end result? I skipped the post last week, I broke my streak, and I had perfectly good, justifiable excuses to rationalize it to myself. I have been traveling a lot in 2022, I now have a startup that is evolving every day, my reading has taken a hit, writing can of course wait.

The Problem with Excuses is They are Often Valid...

Static Friction

In physics, we were taught that static friction is greater than rolling friction. It is much harder to get an object to start moving than it is to keep it moving. Static Friction is not just a physical phenomenon but a very real and ever-present psychological barrier to progress. For me, personally, the effect of static friction is extremely pronounced when it comes to moving myself to start something new or changing directions.

Sometime in 2019, I got the idea of trying new things. I have always led a very safe (read: boring) life, carefully treaded well within the lines, always done the bare minimum needed to get by. Since getting good test scores was all that was important during my school days, once I figured out how to score well, I was pretty much excused from any other extracurricular pursuits. Scoring well meant that appreciation from people was guaranteed and validation was constant. It felt good. The side effect of this "strategy" was that I started avoiding anything new. I would look at others doing well at something and credit it to some innate talent so that I could safely excuse myself from even trying. Basically, I didn't wish to risk looking incompetent or stupid. I never really understood the science of incremental improvement, nobody had introduced me to the concept of the "Growth Mindset" so I successfully convinced myself that I was "born" with the talent to score well in exams but the "talent" to play basketball, cricket, run, write, draw, etc were given to others, not me.

You'll Always be Worst at Something the First Time You Do It...?

Personal Accountability

For me, personal accountability is everything. I have struggled a lot pushing myself trying things, building routines, holding myself accountable over the last 3 years. In the process, I have developed a better understanding of mental Resistance. I have carefully crafted and fine-tuned routines to help me fight the Resistance monster. I have also realized the High that I get every time I am working towards something hard but I am still far from being infallible, I could have concluded this post last weekend but I didn't.

The worst part is that disappointing myself feels really bad. We can make excuses, rationalize and make others believe our excuses but when alone, we will know that the excuses are not real. When you lose credibility with yourself, you also lose some willpower and confidence, drop by drop. Suddenly, not keeping your promise to yourself is an option, not sticking to your routine is an option, quitting is an option. Breaking a routine is also a habit and it is a highly addictive one as well.

Every Single Excuse I have is Valid but that is still not going to get me the Results that I Need...

Gravity

Resistance for me is like Gravity, it is always present. It is not just applicable to big goals and grand plans, it is equally true on a moment to moment, and day to day basis.

• The hardest thing about waking up is not hitting the snooze. Once I am out of bed, the rest is easy.
• The hardest thing about going for a jog is putting on my running clothes and shoes. Once I am out of the door, the rest is relatively easy (and enjoyable).
• The hardest thing about traveling was choosing to take a break from work for a few days. In my mind, the world would fall apart if I wasn't physically present in the office. The truth was I lacked confidence in myself or in my team. Once, I started taking breaks, I realized that the world didn't stop rotating, my team didn't need as much micromanagement, and the best part, I gained confidence in my ability to manage situations better, my efficiency improved massively.
• The hardest thing about starting a new project is sitting down with all relevant reference material and going through everything with focus. Once, I am into it, the rest is relatively easy (and enjoyable)
• The hardest thing about writing an article is deciding the topic and starting to put words to my thoughts. The preliminary drafts are all really bad but if I manage to sit with it for some uninterrupted period of time, it suddenly starts flowing.
• The hardest thing about a difficult conversation/confrontation is broaching the topic itself, if you are sitting with somebody you know, it is possible to have tough conversations but if we keep avoiding the discussion, it keeps getting worse.
• The hardest thing about time management is actually saying "No" at the risk of sounding rude. But if you are consistent, people begin to understand and appreciate. If you don't set boundaries, you'll be buried under a deluge of petty tasks and never get anything significant done.

The Monkey Mind has a tendency to avoid anything that requires focus and effort. Negotiating with it is a constant struggle. We can come up with very valid excuses to not do something that seems hard, but then, when we give in to our fickle emotions, there is zero progress.

You can Either have the Emotion, or You can have Progress. You cannot have Both...

Concluding Thoughts

The trouble is that if somebody asked me why I broke my writing streak, I am sure that I could have come up with a perfectly believable story, a perfect justification but deep down, I lost more than a little bit of self-respect, and a bit of self-confidence.

Whether You Think You Can, Or You Think You Can't--You're Right... | Henry Ford

What is worse is that I almost rationalized myself into skipping my post this week as well. The sinister thing about such an attitude is that it is guaranteed to seep into every other aspect of my day as well because suddenly "Quitting" is an option and Gravity takes over in an instant.

Quitting Always Starts as a Benign Option and Quickly turns into a Habit...

As always, do share your comments and feedback. If you have some suggestions that you can share with the readers, that would be much appreciated so please don't hold back.

Footnotes

• Start Here
• Growth Mindset
• Resistance 101
• Vusi Thembekwayo