A Profound Key to Selling Almost Anything

For 8 years I worked alongside Ken Zimmerman, founder of bespoke cabinetry manufacturer Thorcraft Custom Kitchens. Ken is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet - and a talented salesman.

One memorable day, though, his skills failed him. A potential client, Stephen Hinke, was remodeling a Craftsman Era house in beautiful Reedsburg, Wisconsin. Stephen invited Ken to come see the house, and meet Stephen's wife, Monica.

Sensing a straightforward sale, Ken drove the 2 1/2 hours to Reedsburg. He entered the meeting with "high enthusiasm."

Unfortunately, the meeting began to unravel soon after he arrived. Ken had come with a grand vision for a complete kitchen remodel. Stephen's wife simply wanted new countertops and a few new cabinets.

Ken pressed ahead. He was getting nowhere when Stephen finally stopped him and told him he was doing a poor job selling. He gave Ken a small lecture and sent him home.

Lesser men would have stomped out and lit the bridge on fire behind them. Instead, on the long drive back, Ken simply licked his wounds and felt like the "world's worst salesman."

The next day, Ken received this priceless email that permanently shaped my understanding of sales. This email is used by permission. I've made minor edits, and any emphasis is mine.

Ken,

Was an interesting day for us yesterday. We truly appreciate all the time you have already given to our house.

Please forgive me being so presumptuous as to be lecturing you on selling. There's a great saying: If you're so smart, why aren't you rich? Um, I'm not rich. I think you're a fun guy and total professional. But I was wincing in pain when you first started talking with Monica, because you were so many rooms and unclosed doors ahead of her comfort level. All I saw was resistance. I was saying to myself, "Oh, no. Ken is losing my wife. This project is dead." I think she's back in the fold now.

For ten years I was a serious, full-time student of person-to-person selling. I came to see it as a high art, which, like music, is a thing of beauty to behold when it's done well. Good selling is not about money changing hands; it's about relieving the customer of the anxiety that accompanies spending.

I've done it both well and badly, and seen it done well (but mostly badly). And ever since I left sales I've found myself analyzing the process out loud with salesmen I'm working with. You did seem to appreciate that it's fun for me and you took it in good humor.

Looking forward to refining this...until we get it perfect. Thanks

Steve

Good selling is not about money changing hands; it's about relieving the customer of the anxiety that accompanies spending.

When Ken read this to our team 4 years ago, I knew we’d stumbled on a golden quote. I didn't know the quote was only the tip of the iceberg.

Several months ago, I called Stephen to ask if I could use his writings. I listened spellbound as he gave me some of the simplest and most practical sales advice I've ever heard. It was like a one-on-one TED Talk. I wrote fast while Stephen explained how:

1. Selling (relieving anxiety) hinges on Love and Rooms.
2. Selling applies to all of life.

Love and Rooms

The core of sales is - hang on to your seats - Love.

When people feel genuinely loved and appreciated, they take down their guard. I knew that, I just never thought of it in the context of sales.

Further, get this: when you love your customer and have a solution that fits them, you owe it to them to lead them to that solution. Selling then, is an act of high honor where you lead your client to a solution that's best for them.

Leading is where the Rooms come in. It turns out there was deeper meaning to Stephen's email phrase “so many rooms and unclosed doors ahead of her comfort level.” He wasn't talking about rooms in their house. He was talking about objection points ("Rooms") you carefully lead your customer through.

The first room is you. You leave that room only when you know the customer trusts you. If you never get to that point, there's no use going on. 

I’ve been selling financial services for a decade, but I don’t think it ever hit me this clearly:

I’m not selling financial services. I’m simply selling trust. And trust is earned, not sold.

In his iconic email, Stephen was saying Ken rushed ahead to the sale before closing the door on the Trust Room. I've made that mistake too.

There were many more rooms, and explaining them is beyond the scope of a short article. But once you win trust through love, leading the customer through the other Rooms (objections) is much easier. Interestingly, the last Room is Price.

Selling Applies to All of Life

As I soaked up Love and Rooms, Stephen expanded the selling process to all of life:

A great salesperson is basically trying to get his customers to cooperate with a plan that is mutually favorable. Sales is "leading people to a solution favorable to you, via a solution that is favorable to them."

Stephen pointed out this holds true not only for salespeople, but also for plant supervisors, pastors, policemen, and parents. The goal of pretty much any leader is to get people to cooperate with a mutually favorable outcome.

The key to gaining that cooperation is the same as the selling process: Trust - earned through love and care.

You can spend your life trying to be a great leader, but if you never win the trust of your followers, you might as well pack your bags and go home.

You can spend your life trying to be a great parent, but if you're children don't trust you enough to follow, it's over.

You can spend your life trying to be a great boss, but if your employees don't trust you, forget it.

You can spend your life try to sell, but if your customers don't trust you, it's time to find a different job.

I loosely knew all this, I just never saw it clearly, and never in the context of selling.

A Final Irony

Ultimately, the result of good selling is money changing hands, right?

How did Ken do on that?

Let's just say 4 years later Stephen is still gushing over their fully remodeled kitchen. Apparently friends visit the turn-of-the-century home and have to be persuaded the cabinetry isn't original - it's that authentic! Stephen and Monica are thoroughly satisfied.

Ironically, by humbly accepting his blows, Ken made it through the Trust Room and won their business.

It's not everyday I'm inspired by the sales process. But today is different. Thank you Ken, thank you Stephen, for opening my eyes to true selling.

Good selling is not about money changing hands; it's about relieving the customer of the anxiety that accompanies spending.