Profiles in Partnerships: The Hare, the Turtle, the Ego, and the Supporter-Pleaser

In relationships, we often express our personalities through certain “profiles,” or habitual ways of being. These profiles may be partly innate, while some arise as coping mechanisms in early childhood that served to protect us back then and grew into habits. Each profile carries strengths and vulnerabilities that influence how we interact with others, especially in close relationships. Using an adapted model from DiSC, I have identified four main profiles: the Hare, the Turtle, the Ego, and the Supporter-Pleaser. Each profile represents a point on an axis with two opposites. You are either an Ego or a Supporter-Pleaser, and either a Hare or a Turtle. You are either an outrovert or an introvert you can not be both instinctively. The purpose of the model is to support our new relationship game for women, Lovely, enabling us to measure each player, to help her react in the right direction when it comes to her particular partner and profile.

The model works as follows:

• Hare vs. Turtle – The Hare is spontaneous and reactive, while the Turtle is reflective and cautious.
• Ego vs. Supporter-Pleaser – The Ego seeks control and self-expression, while the Supporter-Pleaser values harmony and is attuned to others’ needs.

Together, these profiles reveal underlying motivations and behaviors that shape how each partner communicates, responds to conflict, and seeks connection.

The Hare

The Hare’s defining characteristic is action. This profile is impulsive, vibrant, and thrives on instant feedback. The Hare acts or speaks before thinking, often drawing energy from social interactions and engaging with others in a lighthearted, spontaneous way. However, this can lead to frustration when things don’t move quickly enough, sometimes causing impatience that borders on pushiness.

The Hare’s superpower is movement and flow, lighting up the room with energy. The Hare’s instant trauma response is to act or speak without thinking. More afraid of missing out than of failure or consequences, the Hare tends to leap first and reflect later.

A Hare-Ego profile creates a forceful personality, someone who may dominate conversations or struggle to hear others. This profile tends to act first, creating a strong external presence but may overlook others' perspectives or needs.

Strengths:

• Quick to act and make decisions
• Energizes those around them, bringing vibrancy and fun

Challenges:

• Impulsive, sometimes steamrolling others’ needs
• Has difficulty waiting or considering consequences

In Relationships:

The Hare is the pursuer, enjoying the thrill of the chase and openly showing affection. Whether through words, roses, or a public love song, the Hare expresses feelings daily and often intensely. This openness can be refreshing, though at times overwhelming, as the Hare also speaks bluntly without much filter.

The Hare will openly share thoughts and emotions and expects the same in return, finding secrecy unsettling. She will struggle to guess her partner’s needs if they aren’t expressed clearly, so repetition is helpful. Because the Hare is an oversharer, the key to balancing her energy is to share openly in return, creating security and trust.

When paired with a Turtle, the Hare’s impatience and need for engagement may overwhelm the Turtle, who responds by withdrawing. The more the Hare demands attention, the more the Turtle retreats, leading to a cycle of seeking and avoidance.

When the Hare leans into the Ego profile, she transforms into a roaring Lion when not feeling love or wanting to express love.

The Lion and Crayfish: A Relationship Scenario

When the Hare combines with the Ego, they become the Lion—a roaring presence in a relationship, seeking attention and validation from their partner. In this dynamic, the Lion roars out their love and seeks closeness, calling their Turtle partner out of his shell. However, the Turtle’s instant reaction is to retreat, and if the Turtle feels threatened, he pulls even further inward, transforming into a defensive Crayfish. The Crayfish may throw out snappy remarks or simply withdraw into silence, prompting the Lion to roar louder in an attempt to connect. This cycle leaves the Lion feeling isolated and misunderstood while the Turtle clings to the safety of his shell, waiting until he feels secure enough to emerge again.

The Turtle is both passive-positive and passive-aggressive, a language the Hare doesn’t fully understand, often making her insecure.

Hare Strengths in Love Relationships:

• No mind games
• Fun and entertaining
• Shows emotions and enjoys physical touch

Hare Challenges in a Love Relationship:

• Tends to talk too much
• Can seem pushy, overwhelming, or inconsiderate (especially when leaning toward the Ego profile)
• Partners may feel unheard due to her strong focus on self-expression

To be continued about the Turtle next… stay tuned.?