Professional veneer – a fine line between authenticity and responsibility

Should appearances ever be deceptive?

After I wrote about bad weeks and resilience recently, I began thinking about a singular bad day. You know, one of those days when if it was the weekend you'd just choose to lie in, or at least lie low.

Maybe you drank too much last night, a baby kept you awake in the wee hours, or you’ve just woken up feeling less than your full self. Whatever the cause, dragging yourself into work is going to take some effort and who knows how you’ll be coming across.

One thing leaders are often told is to be aware of the shadow you cast. It has ripples. And it’s probably something we should all keep front of mind, leader or not. 

So, when you’re feeling not quite you, how do you choose to present yourself? Can you come across as engaged and authentic when you know you’re not fully present? 

One possible answer lies in the concept of professional veneer. It’s the obligation, or opportunity, to be seen as a version of you that fits your position and the environment no matter the underlying mood. 

The US-Canadian sociologist Erving Goffman explored the context and implications around how we present ourselves. Language, clothes, mannerisms and circumstance all play a part in how we appear to others and to some extent how we feel as a result. 

We’re all fulfilling roles at all times. Carefree child, caring parent, controlled inmate, controlling guard, willing employee or guiding team-leader. The social study of this is enormously complex because every situation we find ourselves in and every relationship we create is underlined by several factors, all of which we can control to a greater or lesser extent. 

This gives rise to agency: what you have to do, what you should do, what you’d like to do. 

But ultimately, what can you do? 3 things come to mind in the workplace when you're absent in all but body.

1.      Goffman spent a great amount of time exploring how we use language as part of how we interact. Of course, one simple thing may be to say very little. Be polite, choose to have a quiet day and become a listener. Or alternatively choose your words carefully. Use autopilot if the brain's not playing ball. There’s a corporate framework we can all adopt, much as an actor deploys their script, or indeed a police officer might rely on learnt phrases to give authority. Values, strategies, plans, company one-liners... they're all there to be deployed.

2.      Put on clothes that present a professional version of you. Look smart or look creative and that might be enough to cover the absence of feeling smart or creative! And you might even be able to change your mood with choosing to don something more relaxed. Better a questionable knit than an outpouring of unfettered negativity mid meeting. 

3.      Emulate the behaviours of those you would expect of someone in your job and be your own manager. However senior or junior you are, behave from a perspective where your line-manager is watching. It's powerful to think about how you then want to see yourself and consider the expectations of your role, rather than how you feel.

(In addition, if it’s only a blip, you could try and tackle the passing mood. There are lots of simple and familiar tricks. Make time to eat properly. Make time for a little walk somewhere outside of the office. Reflect with a fleeting diary entry to get down your mind's dalliances. Smile by finding a mirror and pulling an enormous, cheesy, daft grin.) 

But when the mood is entrenched, the purpose of using a professional veneer is knowing that you can practically cover up the underlying feelings, and with it to give consistency to those you are interacting with. You are ultimately managing impression.

For me the presentation of self, in this context, fits sits squarely under responsibility. You're responsible to everyone you interact with and that includes yourself. Find a veneer that you know works for you and allow yourself to have a bad day beneath it. You can then relax, knowing it's just one day and no-one is going to fire you for being sub-average for 24-hours.

Finally, and most importantly in the light of good mental health, if the bad days are linking up to forms weeks - or that pattern is evident for someone in your team - find a mental first-aider (if you’re lucky enough to have them at work) or chat to your GP. I wouldn’t put that off or look to act otherwise.