Professional Egos and How to Avoid Them

I learned something from my therapist recently. "We need our egos. They give us a sense of identity". I've been thinking about that a lot lately as I have unfortunately been seeing many "ego" posts on LinkedIn lately. The humble brag is certainly an art form and there are some real Michaelangelo's on the platform. This is less about the annoyance I have when I read these things (though that certainly takes up more headspace than I wish it did), and more about the unintended consequences of having too big of a professional head. Here are some (hopefully) gentle thoughts.

1. Being an "expert" (a term that is certainly overused) does not make you impervious to scrutiny. In fact, the deflection of scrutiny only reinforces the image that you do not know as much as you are saying you do. It is an intelligent mind that can look at their work, ideas, and contributions and accept their limitations.
2. Your certifications, licenses, and qualifications do not inherently mean that your voice is the only one worth listening to. Of course, educated opinions are very different from a random sample of the lay audience. However, a certification does not mean that you are good at your job, and it certainly doesn't mean that you don't need to continue working on yourself. Many of my clients come to me in distress because a previous licensed therapist caused serious psychological harm. It makes them distrusting of our work and there are no consequences for the licensed professional (there rarely are).
3. You hurt your cause. I work in financial therapy, where there are mixes of genuine thought leaders, cult-like gurus, and everybody in between just trying to do good work. When I see the experts talk about their topic in a way that reeks of the need for external validation, it makes me dismiss the things that they are presenting... even if it is an important thought.

We all have egos. I know writing this article is inherently hypocritical as I get my own buzz about being seen as a thought leader in the field I'm in. However, I do hope that we can all be a bit more intentional about the peacocking we do and refocus on the messages of our causes rather than the professional celebrities that bring them forward.

My encouragement is to focus on ideas and only use your own experience if it contributes to the outcome. In therapy, self-disclosure can be an important tool of change. However, it can also detract from the actual purpose of the session, the client. Your content will certainly have "you" attached to it, as your voice is an important part of what you are sharing. However, a mindful approach to content can make a huge difference in how engagers experience the message.

Do I understand what you are trying to tell me? Or are you getting in the way of the actual idea?

Wishing all the good things,

Nate