Profession? OR Passion?

Beneath the scary clouds and the roaring thunders, I was sitting on the terrace, leaning myself against the rough wall of our building staring at the sky which was ready to burst out into a deadly storm. It looked more peaceful than the storm inside my head.

Thinking about how I got into the job I am doing deviating from the plans I had pursuing my passion, I sat there in disgrace and helpless about myself. I hate being in this situation where 'I am the first one to come in my friends' minds if they have any problem they say, but unable to solve my own..???'

As I was trying to figure things out, I heard a voice, "You are here again??"

I didn't look that way as I knew I won't be having any answers to the questions that are going to come from there.

"I am asking you. What happened this time?" continuing to ask me, they sat by my side me as I bowed my head down.

"I don't want to do this job, but can't leave it either as I need it badly. I don't know what to do..", unable to avoid any more questions I yelled out with my head still down.

"Aah... I thought there's gonna be something new this time. But you are here with the same old story of yours. I am getting bored man!"

I had nothing to say to that because I knew that's the everyday story of mine. So I remained silent. Realizing it, they lifted my head. Looking straight into my eyes, they said "This has been your everyday story. You, overthinking about this matter and me consoling you, Don't you find it too boring?"

"What should I be doing then? If I can't at least be sad about this..!"

"Oh! I never thought being sad is 'at least' for you. That means you are accepting the fact that you are helpless and you are sad every time you think of it. It's of no use bro. It just means you are useless if you get sad over same thing again and again..!"

I had no answer for that, and my silence remained.

Understanding my silence again, they said, "Bro.. Sadness is an important thing in life. In fact that's the only thing that brings out the real you. That's why I was silent all these days consoling you whenever you are sad. But now, you have started to make being sad about this your main goal in life. I can't bear this anymore now. Tell me, what's your problem? This job? Don't you remember how many interviews you have attended a few years ago for this job? Did you forget how many afternoons you have spent with empty stomach waiting for that one chance?"

"I do remember. This job was and is the one I need. I am saying the same thing. But I can't do this job the whole life..!"

"You want to become a writer. That's it?"

"Yes! I want to have a career in writing. I want that to be the first priority in my life. I want to have a good life and career in writing"

"Choosing your life and career is not in your hands always. If your writing is good, the most luxurious life and career comes in search for you!"

"So you want me to continue working like a machine the whole week, waiting for the weekend. And write something in my free time like some time pass option? That is not what I want! Can't you understand?"

"I understand everything! And don't try to be my commander. You can't leave your job. And you can't compromise on your passion. You are just struck between these two things. Now listen to my words, not just with your ears but using your damn mind too.

Passion is something that's a part of you. Even if you throw it somewhere far, it'll come running towards you. But this job? There is no guarantee you will get it back if you loose it. Even if you plead real bad, there's no guarantee you'll get this thing again..."

"So..?" I tried interrupting.

"Will you let me finish? Or should I just leave from here....?"

"Sorry.."

"So.... For any writer, to get something out of his mind on to the paper, he needs an inspiration. Why don't you get the inspiration you need to write, from the place you work? Just observe the things around you. Your manager, your colleagues, your office politics, the gossips, everything.. observe, fix a timeline for writing something on basis of what you observe. You will be balancing your profession and your passion. And as a bonus you won't have hard time going to work everyday. What say??"

I was silent trying to figure out what they just said. They continued, "The situation you are in, if you have anything new or better you can do, tell me. I'll listen to it. But please, don't play the same old record. I got sick of it!"

I had nothing to say. So I remained Silent, looking at them.

We were just looking at each other as the rain started to come down. It wasn't any normal rain that starts with drizzle and grows big. It was like, someone had torn the clouds and everything was coming down all of a sudden. The drops were so big that we both felt as if they were stones that were falling on us. But, none of us moved. We both remained looking at each other. Me waiting to listen what else they have to say and they were waiting for me to say something.

"Arif...! What on Earth are you doing here for more than an hour? Come down!" My mother came looking for me with an umbrella, as I was completely drenched in that heavy rain.

She took me under the roof on our terrace. Rubbing my head with the towel she brought along with her,"what were you doing alone in the rain for so long?" She asked me.

"I wasn't alone. I was listening to the best guide I know..." I replied in my mind, looking at my own image still waiting for my reply in the rain, .."Me!"

I have always been wondering if I have to continue in my profession or go in pursuit of my passion. But little did I forget that I always had the option to pursuit my passion in my profession. That little conversation I had me understand that it shouldn't always have to be Profession or Passion? At times it can be "Profession with Passion!"

The End

If your work is good and honest, you will be presented with ways to live a wonderful life and an amazing career that will come your way. Sometimes early, sometime late. But remember, to know what's coming in the future, you need to stay strong in your present!