Is Productivity Toxic? Changing my mind with the help of iCS

I hate to admit it, but I’ve been wrong about productivity and efficiency, and it’s been holding me back. Reentering climate work has me realizing that time is of the essence. And to be able to have more time, I’ll need to reconsider my core beliefs around productivity. I’m realizing I can frame efficiency around concepts of stewardship and collective liberation. And that the iCanStudy program is probably my best first step to reach my goal of becoming a more efficient person.

Hopefully, this can be a helpful article if you, too, are trying to find more time to do good work (whether or not in the climate space), while also making time for rest and loved ones.

My Judgment of Productivity

I’ll start with defining terms and illustrating why I’ve historically hated the concept of productivity and efficiency. Even if I’m wrong about it, I believe I have good reasons for my misconceptions.

Defining Productivity

Efficiency is defined as “achieving maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort or expense.” Productivity is defined as “the effectiveness of productive effort, especially in industry, as measured in terms of the rate of output per unit of input.”

When I read these definitions, my mind generates a collage of capitalism faster than any AI, including but not limited to images of:

• theft of Indigenous land and the exploitation of Black & Brown labor
• people worn out and weary from their jobs, with no health insurance or time for family
• industrial scale agriculture decimating soils; plastics in our bloodstream
• people making podcasts about productivity while being a digital nomad in Bali / Bicol / Bangkok, relying on severely under-compensated locals and benefits afforded due to patriarchy & racial capitalism, and inspiring others to do the same

In other words, I’ve been disillusioned by the concept of “productivity” and have viewed it as a propaganda to keep the capitalist machine well oiled.

Personal (Bad) Experiences with Productivity

At a personal micro level, I’ve also experienced hurt because of ideas around productivity and efficiency growing up:

• The productive and efficient people in my family also tended to be emotionally out of touch and constantly busy. Busyness =/= productivity. But because these were modeled hand-in-hand to me, I began to think of them as equivalent.
• I was a slow and sensitive kid. I have a cautious and critical personality to begin with, and instead of respecting these boundaries, the productive adults in my life would push them. They’d tell me to “hurry up” and “get it together.” When I began to cry, they would tell me to “toughen up.” Alternatively, some adults would just do things for me, in order to keep things moving. And I get it; working with kids is not easy. But the opportunity to exercise my self-efficacy at the expense of efficiency took away learning opportunities; I am making up for it to this day.
• People who valued productivity in my life seemed to equate their self-worth with what they could produce or accomplish. They lived life like human “doings” instead of human beings. They did not know how to rest. They did not know how to stop, laugh, be kind, soft, or offer words of genuine affirmation. And as judgmental as this sounds, I did not want to live like them.

Reframing Productivity

You might be wondering, “Jessica, you’ve painted such a bleak picture and seem convicted about how bad productivity is. Why are you reconsidering your core beliefs?”

I am also wondering the same thing lol. I wasn’t expecting to change my views.

But I think there are parallels with how I’ve been changing my beliefs about money.

Money is painted as an evil entity. When in reality it is a tool. It is not an end in itself. But money can facilitate your goals. Money can be hoarded and used to exploit. It can also be used to pay for a nice dinner for a loved one, for an important surgery, or to start a co-op.

You can make a lot of money, but it doesn’t mean you need to keep it.

Productivity isn’t Inherently Good or Bad - It’s a Tool

In the same way, I’m realizing productivity and efficiency can lead to your demise or be assets.

Tying one’s worth to productivity and efficiency is a recipe for existential crisis. Like I said, we are human beings, not human doings.

But, if you are able to be productive & efficient, and thereby free up creative energy to spend on self care, loving others, and building alternative futures, then that’s a win in my book.

Productivity a Means of Stewardship & Collective Liberation?

Being productive and efficient also means we open the door to expediting so many things that we have procrastinated on as a society.

Can you imagine if the DMV was efficient?

School?

Healthcare?

Building Decarbonization? (hehe sry shameless plug)

Land Rematriation?

Reparations?

The system wants us to grind.

The system does not want us to discover our own agency, autonomy, and more effective ways of doing things that benefit us and our communities.

The system does not want us to see that we can control our time, our energy, and our resources.

The system manufactures dependence.

And the system is challenged by us being able to come into our own, being able to experience self-efficacy, and being able to efficiently steward our dreams towards productive, abundant futures.

Challenging Core Beliefs about Productivity

The pain inflicted (consciously or not) by productive people in my past embedded maladaptive beliefs about productivity.

I started believing things like:

“To be productive, I need to be a mean-hearted ruthless person.”

“I’m not a person who is like that.”

But even deeper down, I internalized the thought that these people, despite their ruthlessness, were always going to be more successful than me in this world. And that I was not capable or able to perform at their level. That I was not a person worth the benefits productivity could afford.

“I’m a person who will need to slog away forever.”

My fixed mindset became fatalistic.

And this belief, ironically, held up “the system.”

And I want to change.

Future Hopes & Goals

I have so many hopes, dreams, goals, and interests and might not have time for it all before I die!

But I’m hoping my newfound shift in perspective on productivity opens the door to more of these opportunities than not.

I’m hoping to make my work in kitchen electrification education more effective. Equitable building decarbonization can benefit greatly from speed & efficiency.

I also hope to free up time to study more about economic democracy and housing.

I also want to be more consistent with a project I’ve been nurturing for a long time revolving emotional maturity and learning through therapeutic horticulture.

And I want to be able to hit choreo as sharp and clean as the dancers at 1million dance studio ??

These are very high-level goals, but I hope you can see that I have so many interests!

Actualizing Goals with iCanStudy

So I’ve talked about the evolution of my thoughts around productivity. But how am I planning to actualize these newfound aspirations? I’m going to be signing up for Dr. Justin Sung and team’s program, iCanStudy.

I was very skeptical when he made it into my YouTube algorithm, but after binge watching his videos, he opened my mind to challenging reservations I had about productivity. After I watched a few more videos, I also realized that his values kind of align with the values I expressed above (i.e. stewarding your time well so you can live a meaningful life).

He is also the first of these experts that has made me feel hopeful about my ability to change (sorry Stephen Covey).

I’ve bought many courses in the past, but I’ve never followed through.

Maybe I will this time; maybe I won’t. But I’m optimistic.

And that’s worth a lot to me.

I’ll be writing future articles commenting on my progress and applications of this program!