Productive Relationships with Challenging Clients

Andrew’s consulting client was an angry man. As I coached Andrew on his communication, he told me that nothing ever met his client’s standards. Yet he expected Andrew to be a mind reader, viewing conversation as a nuisance and never taking the time to clearly say what he wanted. The times when Andrew managed to speak to him, the client reacted combatively and dismissively.

Andrew was a well-qualified systems engineer but felt useless working on this full-time engagement. He was demotivated and despairing. But he couldn’t just give up the role. His company depended on the client’s division for a large portion of their work. And, in any case, if Andrew moved off the project someone else would just have to step into the role.

The costs of a challenging client

If you’ve been in consulting and professional services for more than a few months, you’ll have met demanding, aggressive and prickly clients like Andrew’s. They make life excruciating for your people. They delay accepting deliverables, cause unnecessary rework and make threats to hold back payment or not extend contracts.

What can you and your people do to relationships like this? Here are some tips to work better with challenging clients.

Managing a challenging client

Firstly, ask yourself: do I want to continue working with this client? Make a conscious decision to stay engaged or separate from them. Maybe you just want to finish the current contract and then leave. Or perhaps this person is one leader in a larger organisation you want a healthy relationship with. Don’t continue working with a client who creates an unsafe environment for your people.

If you want to stay connected to this person, here are some ways to better manage your relationship with them:

Prepare

1. Know your starting point. Be confident in what you’re doing and the work you’ve delivered. Gather all the relevant facts. Talk to others involved in the project to gain an objective view on the situation. Other members of the client’s organisation may provide helpful advice on how to deal with this person.
2. Manage your reactions. Be aware of your emotional responses to the situation and manage them to be present, curious and professional. Understand that the client’s hostility says more about them than it does about you, and don’t allow their aggression to trigger an aggressive response from you.
3. Engage as a pair. When you speak to the client, take someone else from your business. One of you may pick up something the other misses. Working as a pair helps you maintain objectivity and provides some protection from misunderstandings and conflicting recollections.

Be open in conversation

1. Approach conversations with curiosity. Avoid being defensive or argumentative. You don’t know what’s going on your client’s life and what other pressures they may be experiencing. Learn before instructing.
2. Begin with open questions. Ask things such as: “What more do you need for this milestone to be complete?”, “What do you need from us to approve this?” and “How do you need this completed to meet your requirements?” Be respectful while placing responsibility on the other person to give specific and actionable directions.
3. Focus on outcomes. Separate the problem from person and don’t be accusatory. Instead of “You’re being unreasonable!”, say, “When you do this, we are unable to achieve this project outcome”.
4. Offer a solution and check. Once you’ve explored the topic and learned as much as you can about the client’s situation, offer a specific action and ask them if that will meet their need. If they say no, ask another open question. “What then would meet your need?”

Follow up

1. Document meeting outcomes and share them with your client. Make sure every verbal agreement is matched with a written document.
2. Do what you said you were going to do. Always make sure you meet your commitments and inform the client when you’ve done so.

Lasting relationships

By talking through his situation with others, Andrew gained perspective on his client. Confident that his client’s behaviour didn’t reflect any failure on his part, he was able to re-engage. By asking open questions and respectfully pressing for practical direction, Andrew reset the relationship and improved the project’s outcomes.

Andrew and his client now work well together. In fact, the most challenging situations can lead to lasting relationships. It all depends on whether you are willing to take responsibility for controlling your reactions, connecting with the client and working towards mutual benefit.

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I work with owners of engineering businesses to improve performance through better communication. I speak, coach and run programs to help you and your people have better conversations.

If you'd like some help putting these tips into practice, please message me and let's book a time to chat.