Product Leader's Journey: Onboarding - Carpe Diem, Seize The Day!

"We have decided as a company that we are not going to send emails introducing new people", my manager said to me.

It was my first day on the job in dot-com era Silicon Valley. I had just moved from St. Louis, MO to the Bay Area. Here I was, day 1 at the startup, employee number 103. In two months, the company would be down to 19 employees, but that's a story for another day.

I showed up at the office navigating a rainy morning traffic on the 101. It was my first job in 10 years that was not as a software engineer. I was joining the Business Development team, reporting to the co-founder and VP of Business Development. My role was to work with our partners and define an integrated solution based on how two platforms would work with APIs on both sides. So, there was more than the usual bit of anxiety beyond it being the first day, what with new city, new people, and new type of role.

As I entered through the front doors, there were tables on both sides of the reception desk. I was told that the company was hiring so fast there was no space and that one of those desks might be for me. That was a cubicle-free open office environment right in the lobby before that was a thing!

"We have decided as a company that we are not going to send emails introducing new people", my manager said to me, once the pleasantries were done.

He continued further, "I am also not going to introduce you to anyone. Not going to tell you who to go meet. You will have to figure out who's who. Let's see how far you get by the end of the week."

That first week I got to know a good number of people across different functions. I relied on the kindness of other employees who'd pull me into meetings and introduce me to others.

People who'd joined two weeks before me walked around like old-timers. They had the swagger that comes from just being around people you know.

This was a much-needed push for the rookie that I was. It was a great lesson early in my career to take charge of my own onboarding.

I have reflected on this numerous times as I have onboarded new hires into my teams. Here are my three learnings that have helped me since then.

1. Anxiety is normal.

While you may have confidently nailed the interview process and gotten the job, it is completely normal to feel anxious about the start. It may boil over to feeling less confident about yourself, wondering if you are fitting in, and even feeling unsure about the role.

If you like to journal, great! It helps to just write about your day. If not, then this is a good time to try journaling. Just open your favorite notes app and write. Don't just list the meetings you attended and the people you met. Tap into the visceral feelings and give them a way out. Keep it simple. Don't overthink it. Here's an example.

If journaling is not your thing, it helps to talk with a friend, significant other or spouse, where you can share without being judged. The point here is to be open and not hold any negative emotions inside.

If you are joining a company as a leader, recognize that it is normal for people to feel unsure and anxious about reporting to you as their new manager. They will want to ensure that you have context about their role and their journey. Take the time to understand this. Ask questions without making people feel defensive.

2. Note-taking is your superpower.

That first week when I attended meetings, or met people 1:1, I took notes. I was in listen mode. I sent the notes around. It gave me a reason to ask further questions - Did I get this right? What did I miss? Why is this important?

In my experience, people are willing and happy to answer questions like these, even if they are very busy. They get a chance to share what they know. Pulling their knowledge out of them is much easier for them than making them push it.

Make note-taking your superpower. This applies even for a leader joining a new team.

3. Knowns. Unknowns. Unknown Unknowns.

The terminology of "Known Knowns", "Known Unknowns", "Unknown Unknowns" came into focus when Donald Rumsfeld, US Secretary of Defense, used these phrases during a press interview in response to a question about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

Your ability to sense this in conversations is important. Start with the premise that everybody has blind spots, including people who have been with the company for years.

Below is my modified version of the Rumsfeld Matrix.

EVERYONE'S KNOWNS

Validate what you know. Beyond the surface, knowledge is nuanced. Do we all know something in the same way? We know things closer to our nose very well. But outside company doors and our internal Zoom windows, do we have consistent knowledge about the market, the customers, the competitors? Avoid the six blind men and the elephant situation, i.e., everybody thinks they have the complete picture.

YOUR UNKNOWNS

Most of your time during the early days in the company will be focused on this. You will have people to meet, documents to read, and you will pick up bits of knowledge in meetings and 1:1s. Documenting what you learn is key to retaining it. As mentioned earlier, note-taking helps.

THEIR UNKNOWNS

We are so focused on what we need to know from others, that we tend to lose sight of what others don't know that we might know a thing or two about. Here, your ability to connect the dots from your past experiences, your mental models, your hard-earned wisdom is key.

This should not be ignored. Again, no matter how high a person on the org chart, or how long they've been in a company, nobody can know everything. What are the gaps that you can fill for other people? One function in the company may have unknowns about other functions. Can you bridge that gap?

EVERYONE'S UNKNOWNS

These are meta level unknowns. You may have to dig deep here. Not something you have to do on your first day or week but being aware of this is important.

If you are joining a new company, or taking on a new role in your company, congratulations! Take charge of your own onboarding. Carpe diem, seize the day!

That was my story! What's yours?!

Navigating the Journey of Product Leadership with stories. Stories play an essential role in shaping growth. Share yours in comments.