Procrastination: Your Mind’s Misguided Shield Against Anxiety.

Procrastination is the habit of putting off something until a later time. It has nothing to do with ability and everything to do with anxiety avoidance.

One of my clients left an important strategy document to the last minute, not because she didn’t know what to do but because her compounding procrastination habit led her to this point.

You see, she was meant to create a monthly report, but every time it came to doing it, she would avoid it because, in her mind, it would take too much time, and she was ‘too busy’.

So now she had six months' worth of reports to collate for this main strategy document. She was in full-blown overwhelm and had no choice but to start. You know the phrase—eat the elephant one bite at a time.

Now, in hindsight, had she just embraced the discomfort and made the time to do her monthly report, she would have avoided this situation entirely.

When we unpacked why she avoided it, it had nothing to do with time; that’s a fallback excuse. It had everything to do with avoiding the anxiety about doing it perfectly and fearing judgment if she didn’t.

We all know this familiar place. Put off the discomfort for the dopamine induced lower hanging fruit.

The next time you find yourself procrastinating, even though it's against your better judgment, you can go through this checklist. Consider it a ‘procrastinator’s hack list’ to understand your anxiety avoidance.

The sooner you can be honest about escaping anxiety and discomfort, the sooner you can confront the task, even if it’s for ten minutes and make progress.

It's the not starting that generates even more anxiety, and you know that it’s progress that motivates us, not willpower. Here we go:

Does this task threaten my identity, who I think I am supposed to be, or what others expect me to be?

In Amy Cuddy’s TED talk, she spoke about how she was identified as being intelligent. When she had a car accident, this had severely impacted her IQ.

This resulted in a real identity crisis for her because who am I if I’m not the smart one?

Are there any tasks you avoid for fear of not living up to your or other people’s expectations?

Does this identity still align with your current and future goals? Do you need to let go of this belief so you can give yourself permission to focus on the most important things?

Does it bring up uncomfortable feelings like anxiety or frustration?

Anxiety shows up when you’re trying to control your external world or control and predict the future. Are you avoiding a conversation for fear of the other person’s response or how they may react?

If you’re avoiding feeling next week, you will always be anxious. All you can control is your intention and how you show up to the conversation.

Avoiding something may comfort you today, but in the long term, it will never bring about resolution. The more you delay it, the more anxious you will become.

Does it bring up uncomfortable fears like being judged or not being perfect?

For most people, the answer is a resounding yes. The good news is that perfection is the lowest standard you can set for yourself because it is not attainable. The other good news is that people will always judge. We have no control over that.

Rather than fear being judged for not delivering or showing up, consider how your actions of avoidance are creating the very situation you want to avoid.

Another perspective is that the task is triggering insecurity because it's putting you out of your comfort zone. Rather than focus on the fear of judgement, ascribe a meaning that it's a compass to growth. You are insecure because you are being challenged, not because you need to do it perfectly.

Am I making the outcome bigger than it needs to be?

Again, a common theme. If you place an outcome on a certain document or presentation that will dictate the future of your career, then no wonder you will create any excuse to avoid it.

Or, if you anticipate tackling the entire presentation in one go, you will be overwhelmed. The way forward is to think small—don’t think about the 50-slide presentation but rather slide one. What is one bullet point for slide one? What is one heading? Now, celebrate your progress and keep going.

It’s the same reason people procrastinate on self-care: They assume they need an hour, and since they don’t have time for that, they don’t start.?

What if you made progress for fifteen minutes? Even though it seems insignificant at the moment, if you are consistent, those fifteen minutes compound into a sustainable habit.

What meaning have I attached to failing?

If you reframe failure to feedback, would you start? Failure is not permanent; it’s a learning curve if you take the value from the lesson and drop the story.

If you see the situation as pervasive, you will move into what Martin Seligman calls Learned Helplessness. Pervasive means that if the project fails, the belief is that I am a failure and that my whole life is a failure.

When the fear of failure arises, ask yourself, ‘What if?’ What if you succeed? What if everything you feared was only in your imagination and never came to pass?

If you knew you couldn't fail, then would you begin?

Am I avoiding starting because I want to attach an outcome to my effort?

We all want a return on our time and energy investments. This is more difficult when you want to invest time in something other than work, like a hobby or passion project.

The way to start is to value unmade work, value the process of learning and feeling like a beginner again. In the wise words of Seth Godin:

“Worrying is the quest for a guarantee, all so we can find the confidence to press on. It’s an endless search for a promise: the outcome will be worth the effort we put into the process.”

What does the end look like?

I was working with a client who was working on her PhD and caught a massive case of procrastination. When we dug deeper, it was because she felt like she was walking in the dark. And you know what, she was, and that’s the process.

Her avoidance was because she craved certainty of what the next step would be. In a huge endeavour like a PHD, the whole point is to follow the research and data and allow it to unfold.

Buddist teacher Pema Chodron talks about the Pathless Path. For me, the only way down the path is one micro win at a time and follow the crumbs of where it takes you.

Procrastination is not going to illuminate the path; it’s going to stop the path in its tracks. Every step you take unravels procrastination, and it has no choice but to leave you alone.

What meaning have I attached to succeeding?

I’ve left the best for last. I met someone at a dinner party who had an upcoming final board exam. She shared how nervous she was about writing it. She said her default was to avoid studying, but she knew this time, it wasn’t an option.

I asked if she was afraid of failing. She responded that she was afraid of what it would mean if she passed. I was as confused as you are right now.

She said, 'If I pass, then I would get a promotion, and then I would really be seen'. Her greatest fear was being revealed as an imposter, that she wasn’t enough and didn’t deserve the role.

When you believe your own stories, they become real for you.

Do you fear success? When these stories occur, interrupt the pattern by reminding yourself of your wins and achievements.

Don’t measure yourself by what you still need to achieve; measure yourself backwards from where you started. This is the evidence that you deserve to be where you are, and now it’s up to you to integrate that into who you are.

If you fear success, consider if you are focusing on what you could lose rather than what you could gain. For example, if you do get promoted, do you fear losing time with your family or losing freedom over your time? These are real fears and tend to make us play small or procrastinate to ensure we keep ourselves from our goals.

It's not self-sabotage; it's a focus on the wrong thing. To break the habit of avoidance, focus on what you will gain and what you want, not what you don't want.

Final thoughts.

"You can't self-correct what you can't self-observe" - Christopher Heuretz.

Now that you are aware of your anxiety avoidance trigger - name it.

The only choice we have is to begin. And the only place to begin is where we are. Simply begin, even if it's for ten minutes.

Here's to the art of starting,

Warm wishes,

Lori

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