Procrastination?

“And there’s this, on top of everything else, like I don't already have enough,” Ray lamented to himself as he dropped the medical bill for the fourth time, after having picked and twirled it in his hands just as many times. Ray is a brand manager for a large consumer goods company. He was in the middle of the brand review process, where senior leadership in his company reviews marketing plans for his company’s brands for approval or funding. This is the most brutal season of the year in his place of work, and it is common to see individuals burning the midnight oil or pulling all-nighters.?

Just the thought of getting the checkbook, verifying his balance, writing the check, putting it in an envelope, and walking to the mailbox to send it made it feel like an insurmountable task and a huge time investment at the time of the year when he had the least. So he dropped it again. “I’ll get to it as soon as I’m done here,” he muttered, and then went back to his screen, where he spent ten more minutes determining where to start attacking the mountain of work ahead of him, battling a creeping feeling of overwhelm.?

Eventually, Ray finished after working through the night, under pressure, exhausted, and stressed. “But,” he told himself, as he shaved in front of the mirror, “at least I killed that thing—now let’s see how the review goes and how many changes I will need to make.” Which did happen—the rush caused him to make mistakes, miss angles, and identify sufficient contingencies in the few hours he gave himself to finish the advertising budget proposal for his brand.?

Now he felt badly because he recriminated himself for not having been better prepared. “I should have started earlier,” he thought. “I would have been able to prepare better, avoid those few typos, get some sleep instead of dragging around like a zombie, and, on top of everything, I would have avoided the late fees on the medical bill and the potential hit to my credit score. If only I could beat that damn procrastination! Why was I cursed with it?” he thought, tossing his shoes into the closet the night after the review before going to bed, knowing the frustration would come back to haunt him later in the wee hours, when he would surely lose his sleep. “Why was I wired this way?” he lamented in a whisper as he stared at the ceiling in impotence and frustration.

So, at the end of the day, Ray felt bad, devalued, and perpetuated his self-image that he just could not expect to be as successful as others around him because of his defect—that procrastination that always had haunted him.??

Everyone Does It

Maybe not to the same degree as Ray, but we have all fallen prey to it, at some point or other. According to research from the American Psychological Association , about 20% of us can be classified as chronic procrastinators. For most people, it sometimes feels like a big thing, just like it did to Ray—a huge burden we carry that makes us feel badly about ourselves. And sometimes we tend to treat it like it’s something that defines us—just like Ray.

How many people have you heard say (it could even be yourself) “I’m going to get around to doing that, but I still have time,” followed by “I know, I know, I’m such a procrastinator!” Or similar sentiments. You get the point. And here is the thing: even if you do manage to finish things in time and (occasionally) in quality, can you imagine how much you would come closer to realizing your potential if you did things in time, being able to correct if needed, thinking through more deeply, and finding time to do other self-nourishing activities?

When We Procrastinate

Let’s be clear: procrastination is not a condition or some innate characteristic. For most of us it is a choice. When we procrastinate, we often do it as a strategy to avoid discomfort. At first glance, it might seem like we're just putting off something difficult, but if we dig deeper, it’s more a coping mechanism for fear of failure, judgment, or even success. Procrastination is the manifestation of upstream issues that cause it, more closely related to the stories you tell yourself than anything else: a sign of other things we might believe and could choose not to.?

Most people see and treat procrastination like it’s the problem. I’m sure you have heard others say that something failed “because of procrastination.” I am sure you have received or heard others get recommendations and admonitions to “get it done," “get organized,” or “just do it and don’t think about it.” In other words, cures to “improve” and overcome “the condition.” And the worst is that it is like taking aspirin—it is action focused on the symptom, not the root cause.

I’ve seen with many clients, particularly with higher-level executives, that perfectionism is often at the root of the behavior (and a clear source of stress). The fear of not getting something right prevents us from even starting the task. We get stuck in a cycle of overthinking, overplanning, and avoiding any potential mistakes, all of which feeds the procrastination. If we equate our self-worth to our work, then imagine the terror that could come from a work product that is subpar. What does it say about our worth if we deliver something that is not good enough? Procrastination is a wonderful tool to avoid or minimize that risk. We are never "ready” and are stuck in a perpetual cycle of "perfecting” in order not to finish or to avoid doing things.

What if you choose not to stay stuck or punish yourself with guilt and labels and take uncomfortable, maybe imperfect action instead?

It’s easy to label ourselves or others as “lazy” or “undisciplined,” but there are deeper issues at play. In my experience as an executive coach and over 35 years of career at all levels across some of the world’s preeminent companies, procrastination does not distinguish nationality, culture, gender, or age. I’ve seen procrastination invade and affect many individuals regardless of title and pay grade.

The impact extends beyond our work lives. Think about it—how many of us have put off personal tasks like cleaning the garage, planning a trip, or even having an important conversation with a loved one because we’re waiting for the “perfect time” or the “perfect way” to do it? We often create mental barriers that keep us stuck, believing that if things aren’t ideal, we shouldn’t even bother.

The truth is, all our our relationships, experiences, and personal growth require our full presence, clear intentionality, self-acceptance, and willingness to learn by trying—through mistakes and temporary discomfort Imagine how this puts within our grasp things that we often only long for, like building deeper connections, taking meaningful action, and enjoying life in its imperfect beauty.

Why do We Do It?

The Ostrich Maneuver. We often use procrastination as an escape from an unpleasant outcome. For example, a payment that might be high (which could also just be an unfounded fear that we choose to evade), or in order not to see something that we would rather ignore (reviewing your bank account could reveal something you might dread, or visiting the doctor to avoid the risk of hearing something is not well, etc.). Or, like Ray, that bill that keeps growing and accruing interest and penalties that he would rather not look at it now “because he is so busy.”

Overwhelm. Sometimes, you’re just frozen because there is too much to do or it is too difficult, and you don’t even know where to start. So you look for other simple and easy things, low-hanging fruit, to feel “occupied” and have a justification that you’re doing things you needed to do anyway (conveniently forgetting the “more important first” filter).?

Escape from Success. We have grown used to modeling our lives around the expectation, the false inner story, that things cannot be easy or that, for some obscure reason, success is not for us. Doing this is helpful to avoid restructuring our whole belief system and all the attitudes and behaviors we base on it. So, Dear Reader, picture it for yourself: if you have based most of your inner stories, assumptions, and aspirations on the fact that you are not that good, what would happen if, all of a sudden, you became successful? What will you do next time, when the bar is raised because of that success? Better to “sabotage” yourself through procrastination... this way, no pain because you know the type of challenge you will get.

Escape from Failure. If you set out to do something and go through the motions, preparing yourself to do it, but, just as you are about to start, you pull back out of fear of failure, there is a good chance you will postpone doing it and then call yourself a procrastinator. Worst of all, you will believe that’s who you are. So you go into things afraid that you're going to fail; you give it less of a full effort because you’re convinced of it, and you fail. Many people would rather be accused of poor time management skills than of having little intelligence. So, procrastination gives you another argument to eliminate “not being intelligent enough.” Another one of those inner stories! If you go into something thinning, it escapes your abilities; if you deliver an end product below what you could have and you indeed fail, you can always say, “I was right, after all,” and you can console yourself by asserting that it wasn’t for you anyway. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Perfectionism. This is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can drive us to produce high-quality work. But on the other hand, it sets an impossibly high standard that we may never feel we can meet. This internal pressure, coupled with the fear of failure, keeps us from taking the first step. When we tie our identity to achieving perfection, we become paralyzed by the fear that anything less than perfect will be a reflection of our inadequacy.

Plain old ego. Sometimes, there may also be an element of “how awesome I am” if you succeed despite the late start. Which, peeling it back a little more, may be another mechanism to self-affirm and boost our self-image.

“Procrastination is not waiting, and it is more than delaying. It is a decision to not act.” ~Dr. Joseph Ferrari (Professor, Psychology, DePaul University)

Stick It to “The Man." Procrastination can be an extremely costly (and surprisingly effective) strategy to annoy someone in authority or anyone we resent. It has a high price because you immediately get labeled as ineffective, passive-aggressive, undisciplined (“they should just get things done instead of wasting time thinking about it” and other such descriptors that result in the loss of a promotion, of trust, of a job, lost income, or of something ultimately more dear (a friend or a romantic relationship).?

Distractions. Yes, plain old distractedness. For example, you may be tempted by immediate rewards from distractions like notifications, snacks, pets, etc.

Poor time management. People who don't prioritize tasks properly may procrastinate on important tasks due to inferior planning.?

You see the pattern?

The Coaching Perspective

Procrastination isn’t a personality flaw or a permanent condition. It's a symptom of how we relate to discomfort, uncertainty, and our self-imposed standards. If you find yourself feeling it, you’re not alone. At some point or other, with more or less intensity, most of my clients—and I—experience the same pattern of delaying or avoiding important tasks. More often than not, it’s the result of deeper, underlying beliefs about ourselves, our worth, and our expectations; it may feel like you “should,” you “must,” you "ought." But, before acting or even feeling that oppression in your chest, try to look into why.?

Acknowledge it first. Simply naming it makes it easier to reframe our thoughts. It could be that the task you’re avoiding holds emotional weight—the fear of not being perfect or of succeeding and raising the bar even higher. Letting this drive you is disempowering and turns you into a victim. Here’s my question to you: are you really powerless??

What if, rather than seeing procrastination as a sign of laziness or failure, we view it as an opportunity to examine fears and insecurities? What would happen if, next time you hear it, you got curious about that little voice? You can even choose to give it a name, if that helps, as though it were a character in the movie of your life.?

Imagine you tell that little person inside your head shouting the “oughts,” “have tos,” and “musts” to go somewhere else (another room, a closet, a cave, somewhere else but the forefront of your mind). With this vociferous little character safely tucked away, your hands are on the wheel! Here’s where you can shift from “I can’t,” “I have to,” or “I should” to “I choose.”?

Be self-aware; try to notice when you are about to procrastinate, and challenge your inner narratives. Think about the list above as a seed for your reflection. What would you say is possible with you in control and not drifting along? How would life look like? What would happen if you gave yourself permission to take imperfect action today? What if you choose to do that uncomfortable, arid, dreary task because you have that power rather than hiding from it? What if you choose not to stay stuck or punish yourself with guilt and labels and take uncomfortable, maybe imperfect action instead??

Allow yourself to move and appreciate your own value. Think whether you might be giving (yes, you, as in a choice) others power that does not belong to them: the ability to determine your identity, self-worth, or sense of accomplishment for you. Realize you can choose not to give anyone that power.

Procrastination is a choice. Own it. It’s a decision we make, sometimes unconsciously, to delay taking action due to fear, perfectionism, or lack of clarity. But once we recognize that it's within our control, we can begin to make different choices! You have that power; you own the decision and its consequences.?

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