Processing the new world

Today wasn’t the first day I was flooded with memories—from hanging out at the pub with friends, daily coffee breaks with my work buddy to a beautiful wedding at the end of 2019 (our last large family gathering). More than a year on from the first U.K. lock down, and we’re slowly taking steps to achieve semi-normal life again. The one thing we know is that everyday life will never quite be the same again as we continue to adapt to new life and work routines.

I feel sad about all the people who have lost their lives, those who have lost loved ones and the trauma imprinted on so many brave and amazing global healthcare and key workers. The passing of time has taken with it lost experiences and precious moments and made me reflect on what I’m yearning for…hugging friends and family, writing in cafés, weekend trips and walks around London, travelling to my favourite mountains and beaches in Ireland and visiting friends and family. Above all, I yearn for the simple experiences—to leisurely browse around a shop without worrying about how close I am to other humans, and to just “be” with family sharing a meal and chatting around a table, something I frequently cast my mind back to as I walk past my previous family home time and time again.

They say the only way forward is to accept and move on. Accept things will get better and try to look for small moments of joy in everyday life. However, keeping calm and carrying on isn’t for everyone—for many, the more than a year on milestone is a time of intense processing, grieving, losing hours of sleep as we fail to shut down from blurred work-life boundaries, high anxiety and constant exposure to news. The pandemic has altered our sense of time and shifted our temporal integration—which is how we process information over time. Having a beginning, middle, and end to a task or distinguishing between past, present and future helps us to integrate and process the world we’re experiencing, but days blending together can negatively affect our wellbeing.

One thing I do know is that I’ve taken many moments to count my blessings. Gratitude has truly kept me grounded throughout the COVID era. I am healthy, I’ve not lost loved ones to the virus, I have a job with a supportive company and a warm safe home. And the pandemic has brought the concepts of kindness and self-care to the forefront as we reflect on the real meaning and beauty of life. This has to be a good thing. Every day is an opportunity, and I have the choice and freedom to determine how I spend my time.

The pandemic has seen people move more—be it yoga, running, living room workouts, walking, dancing, gardening—exercise boosts feel-good endorphins and reduces stress. I’m thankful for fitness.

I’ve learned to respect people need space to “process” as they grieve their losses and adapt to the new normal. It’s realising that people will perhaps experience more challenging days than good, and simply can’t hide their frustration, are burned out or want to be alone. Maybe they’re working twice as hard to keep a business afloat or haven’t been able to take a break for a long time. And this is where crying to release tension has really helped me to cope with the new normal. I’ve also found the simple act of sharing and exchanging feelings with friends and colleagues to be extremely powerful.

Knowing that I will see family and friends very soon lights my soul and fills me with hope. We may not be ready, but I’m going to try to embrace the new world because the only way is forward. Keep the faith and continue to look out for each other.