Processes Have Expiry Dates

Once upon a time, there was a highly revered hermit who lived in the middle of a dense forest. With his retinue of assistants, the hermit had built a neat campus for himself, to spend the days in intense penance and grand pujas with rare and carefully chosen offerings to the Gods every week. The army of disciples, despite being petrified by the great Teacher’s frequent eruptions of anger, considered being in the vicinity of their Guru to be a blessing.

 The biggest event at the hermitage happened on Fridays, when the Great Guru presided over the mother of all ceremonies to propitiate the Gods. Preparations for this event begin two days in advance, and the fear of the Guru’s anger ensured that everyone was on his toes so that there be no hurdles, mishaps or road humps.

 One Friday, just as the great man was going to begin the proceedings with all the disciples standing in tense anticipation, a black cat ran across and jumped over the pyre that had been decorated for the day’s ceremonial fire. The Guru’s face went purple with rage, and he roared, “Bad Omen! Who let this happen? Catch that cat and tie him up! Now…Do it right now!!” A dozen disciples scampered around, caught hold of the black cat, and securely tied him to a nearby tree. Ready to make the auspicious beginning, when the Guru loudly enquired, “Has the cat been tied up?” A couple of the disciples replied in unison, “Yes, Master!”

 As a precautionary measure to prevent the cat nuisance every week, the disciples decide to hold it in captive, and its movements carefully monitored. As if on cue, come next Friday, the Master once again loudly enquired, “Has the cat been tied up?” And the disciple who was made responsible for keeping the cat away from the ceremonial area answers, “Yes, Master!” That then becomes a routine Q & A every Friday.

 Few years later, the Great Guru passes away, and one of the competent disciples gets elevated to be the next Guru. Faithfully following in the footsteps of his illustrious predecessor, the new Guru conducts the Friday ceremony with the same eye for detail, including the loud enquiry, “Has the cat been tied up?” and the response “Yes, Master!”

 Few more years go by, and the black cat grows old and dies. The disciples were distraught. How do we now answer the question, “Has the cat been tied up?” A small team of disciples then fan out into the jungle, and to the relief of all, return triumphant with a new, black cat. The Fridays thereafter went well, all questions answered, all boxes ticked.

 This is a very well-known story.

 Yet, we see processes harden over time, to serve senseless purposes such as answering the Guru’s question, as in this case.

The astonishing blindness behind perpetuating a meaningless act by finding a new cat did not seem to disturb the disciples. It probably would have, had they paused to question ‘Why are we doing this?’ before the action. Standard Operating Procedures and long-running pre-ordained rituals are made someone’s responsibility, and even elevated to be their Key Result Areas (KRAs).

Thus formally sanctified as ‘must do’ activities, these processes, procedures and tasks that define them, become perpetual.

Schools and colleges have always had rituals followed more out of habit, and in the professed need for instilling discipline. Parenting has ‘black cats to be tied up’ in the believed superior worldly wisdom of the parents. Nationalism tends to dictate rites and impose behaviours on citizens that become mere actions sans the spirit. All countries have a few arcane laws only because they have always been there. Meetings, reviews, training programs, get-togethers, all-hands meets and family picnics in companies are persisted with, even after they have lost all relevance.

 As Lord Tennyson says, “Lest one good custom should corrupt the world.”

Heed those words. Every process comes with an in-built expiry date. Even good customs can be wasteful and even harmful, beyond a point.