The Process of Personal and Professional Integration - Part One

In my experience, one of the key elements in living a meaningful and fulfilling life over the span of time that we're fortunate to be alive is how we understand, accept, change, and integrate all the elements of who we are and what we do. This six-part series will examine this process in some detail, in hopes that you will gain some value in charting your path.

In this first segment, we'll be looking at what I call your Compass - how you determine your Values, your sense of Purpose, your Vision, and how you live with Authenticity or Integrity. Let's examine these in greater detail.

Values: What we believe in. One dictionary definition is “a person’s principles or standards of behavior, one’s judgment of what is important in life.” Sometimes, when we're in a calm, quiet place we can dig down and get a clearer sense of our values, and other times we're in the thick of a situation where it becomes crystal clear that our values are being activated based on what we are experiencing.

One challenge is that we can find ourselves in a place where we have "competing positive values." They're all good, however it feels like we can't possibly honor both in the way we'd like. Examples might include"Take care of our family" and "take care of ourselves." "Earn sufficient financial compensation" and "work in a caring, collaborative workplace culture."

When in doubt, reach out! Our trusted allies can frequently help us clarify what's important, so we can live more fully with our values as our inner guide.

Purpose – An ability to translate values into action. This can be defined as “an abiding intention to achieve goals that are both personally meaningful and makes a positive mark on the world.” I think it's a fair statement to say that everyone has periods of what I would term "mundane muck." Take the recycling out. Fix the shoelace that breaks as we're ready to leave. Deal with the burnt toast.

Hopefully, we also have experiences that can be called "transcendent." We help someone without a need for personal or financial gain and we can see the immediate positive effects. We start a new phase of our work, and our expectations are exceeded in a wonderful way. We address a conflict with a reasonable amount of skill that actually improves a relationship. Our purpose of "being good and doing well" may feel elusive at times, however when things are in internal and external alignment we feel our purpose unfolding in real time.

Vision – How we see ourselves at a later point in time. I like the definition of vision as “the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom.” This is a tricky one - especially in an ever-changing, increasing complex, and frequently troubling world. Sometimes we craft a vision, only to feel like all our plans and dreams plunge into the dumpster of life. However, sometimes when we least expect it, we get to a place that we truly couldn't imagine. I remember my first business trip to Europe at the age of 34, and as the plane took off from my home airport I distinctly recall thinking "How did a dude from a small, dying, Rust Belt town in the Midwest end up going to work in France?"

Of course, at times we realize we can't get too attached to a particular vision, since there are always factors outside our control. This in another place to practice "the art of healthy detachment." We're still highly motivated to achieve our goals, and at the same time we know that nothing can touch our basic human goodness. We practice the "4 Ps" - Passion, Purpose, Perseverance, and Patience."

Authenticity and Integrity – This is the quality of being real and true, of being as impeccable as possible in your words and actions, and of “doing what you say you will do.” Internal authenticity and integrity is a felt sense. If we are paying attention to our mind, body, and soul, we get messages when it's not working.

We may be tempted to believe that absolutely everything we do has authenticity, however it not enough for us to be the sole determinant of this. The experience of others, who may have different assumptions or biases is part of the equation. One risk is that we may think we're taking a stand for integrity, however our actions are actually a disguised need on our part for emotional validation.

One of the best practices I encourage my clients to use is what's known as the "Listening Tour." This is when we sit down with someone we work with and preface the conversation by saying "I really want to know what your experience of working with me is like, and I pledge to not be defensive, argumentative, or to carry any resentment forward." If others don't see us as trustworthy, then there is gap between our experience and that of others. Then, out of curiosity and commitment we do the work.

If you're interested in a process that will bring these elements (and the other vie parts in this series) into greater awareness and alignment, go to https://www.lifeworksprocess.com . I would be honored to be your guide as you continue your life-long process of integration. Onward!