The Problem with the Send Button

Virtually every email program I have ever seen has a send button. It's it's right there, in a prominent location, begging you to press it.

Some of us write, then read, review, and write again. Others among us write, hit send, and then immediately regret the impossibility of preventing that email from arriving at its intended location.

This is where the value of your personal favorite word processor comes into play.

A good word processor is a therapist, a counselor, a way to bounce off ideas from yourself, and a good solid desk drawer. You can write whatever it is you choose to write, and then lock it away. It will be there in an hour, or the next day.

Passion is wonderful but it sucks when you have to think rationally. We so often rely on our first, instinctual reaction and fail to stop and consider the likely results of that reaction. This works exceptionally well when you're trying to dodge an oncoming predator, but not nearly as well when you were faced with a situation that has made you angry. There is a good chance that whatever is written when you were in that heightened "red" state of anger will not do any good and will almost certainly make things worse.

Equally, there is nothing to be gained if your response comes from a place of fear, or any other such primal emotion. Without the benefit of a calm and measured approach, not only will your reply achieve nothing, but it may very well be a false representation of how you really feel.

Sitting down and writing out your gut level reaction is, in and of itself, therapeutic and stress relieving. You might find yourself filled with righteous anger, and so spilling that across half a dozen pages allows you the opportunity to vent... In private. When it's just you and the blank page, you can write anything you want to anyone you choose.

Make this a habit. Write that first, gut instinct reply, but do it on your word processor. Save the document. Walk away for awhile, go outside, throw a football, do whatever helps clear your mind. Some of us will turn to a trusted partner for advice; others simply need to allow these sorts of things to gel in their heads. Writing down how you really feel has pulled that anger from the front of your mind, and the space created is the space used by your mind to process a rational response. There will come a point where you will find that rational response, one that is devoid of too much emotion, and at that point you can confidently author a reply that will articulate your true thoughts on the matter.

Take the time- whether that is one hour or one day. Give yourself a chance to work through the emotional response to arrive at the thoughtful response.?

Stay away from that send button. It will still be there, patiently waiting, when you have crafted the better reply.