The Problem with "Positive Thinking", and the book "The Secret".

What I am about to write, may be a little controversial. After all, who in their right mind would right something that would so obviously go against what everybody is taught to do?

I was introduced to "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, in the early years just after my graduation when I was struggling to get a job. Someone told me about the movie and just like the millions of people around the world I fell for its philosophy of thinking positive and the law of attraction.

In hindsight, the movie is like reading your daily horoscope in the newspaper. It cleverly find things that relate to you and all humans and then presents you with a solution to mastering a "law of the universe". It sounds silly just writing that in itself, but hey I guess it's powerful what a little marketing can do right?

In the years that followed the release of the book, I started seeing all sorts of "gurus" pop up that taught you positive thinking with their absurdly expensive courses and if you couldn't reach a stage of "nirvana" after their course, you simply weren't trying hard enough. The concept of positive thinking, was rather unfortunately mis-used and preyed on peoples vulnerabilities of stress, depression and anxiety and promised them a world where they would only think positively and would have surrounded themselves with "positive people" and "positive energy".

Just like everybody else, I was a huge "positive thinker". I really believed (and forced) myself to think positively, after all, there was an inherent fear that thinking anything negative would attract it to me (as the book teaches). It is only after years of maturity and experience do you realise the the absurdity of living in a paranoid mindset where thinking negatively is not allowed and somehow goes against human nature.

The Turning Point...

The turning point came when I started noticing a repeated pattern. This pattern was repeated again and again and I am sure it's something most people can relate to. It goes something like this:

1. Have a positive thought about wanting something particular.
2. Set a time of when you want it by, now or by a specific date.
3. Keep thinking positively and believing you're going to receive it daily.
4. As more time goes (or the deadline approaches) you realise you're not getting it.
5. Frustration and paranoia builds up as to why you're not getting it
6. Nothing happens.
7. You blame yourself for not being "positive enough" throughout the process. Leaving you with nothing more than utter confusion and nothing actually manifested.

We've all been there. After all, if there was a "law" of attraction, wouldn't this be easier?

I'm going to tell you a little true story of someone I know that really asked this question to a monk in the mountains. I found it particularly interesting because the nature of the question is very similar to what we all go through. Here it is below:

The Story of the Monk in the Mountains...

A guy once went to a monk in the mountains...?

He said: "Dear Monk, I can't conceptualise the mind. The brain is very tangible, it has a size, its visible, you know it exists... But the mind, I can't comprehend it, it's always cluttered, where does it start, where does it end? Why can't I control it?"?

Monk said: "My dear, look up at the stars, there are more stars in the universe than the thoughts you've had in your mind, but look how brightly the stars shine.... Look how each star gives light, no one star is more important than the other. In such a chaos, how does the entire universe stay in perfect balance?".?

He said: "I don't know...."?

?Monk: "You see, your mind and the universe are very similar. Your mind is equally in a great chaos, jumping from thought to thought, action to action... However to gain tranquility in the chaos, there is only one solution, to let it be. Don't judge your thoughts, or try control them, don't feel you have to think positively and don't hate yourself for being negative. Just let it be, observe each of your thoughts, give each thought the space to flourish, see it rise and fall and live and die. When the clouds of judgement pass, the clarity in your mind will shine brighter, for you will start seeing each thought for what it really is, and in doing so, you will realise your true self". ?

Isn't think a beautiful story? I think it holds a really important lesson and that is one of consciousness.

What is Consciousness?

According to Google: "a person's awareness or perception of something". I think it's a lot more simpler than that. Consciousness, is being conscious of your own thoughts.

Think about it, if you're conscious of something, you are simply aware of it. You are not rejecting or accepting it, you are simply acknowledging its presence just as the monk advises. So why when it comes to the mind, do we force ourselves to move away from consciousness and focus solely on "positive thinking" as though everything else that arrises in our consciousness is somehow irrelevant and rejected?

According to Jay Shetty, when he went to Monk school, one of the first things they teach children is to observe the breath. Why? The nature of the breath is to rise and fall, just like the nature of the mind where thoughts rise and fall. If you can observe your breath, you can also be conscious of the thoughts in your mind.

Next time you think something negative, I want you to know that it's okay. It happens, because we're human. We cannot change human nature, but we can simply be conscious of it. When you learn to stop battling against your human nature, you will learn to accept and understand yourself and who you truly are. As you become more conscious of your thoughts, you will find yourself substantially less stressed, anxious, and depressed. All of these tendencies happen because you beat yourself up for thinking something you're not supposed to and sometimes the weight of these thoughts becomes too much to handle so you express them to others (usually the ones closest to you).

I've been searching the internet for something that can help you, and I've found this little video from Headspace that does a fantastic job of describing everything I've spoken about and what to do to help you become more conscious through meditation.

Namaste. Live Consciously.

Milan.