The Problem of Pain

I took the picture on the cover space of today’s Sanity Stop at Lycabettus Hill, Athens, after about an hour walk up to the highest mountain point in Athens, Standing 277 meters above sea level. I was so satisfied with how colourful the sunset was, especially when it ended up dancing in that glittery way against that mix in the wine glasses. I wished life could always be that beautiful. I know better.

During one of those awful moments of 21st-century human history, at the peak of the Covid 19 pandemic in 2020, I had a salary cut by half and so many bills to pay. One of the most important things for me that year was getting a fully-funded scholarship. So, I decided that I would try scholarships that demanded application fees. My bank account was already almost empty by the first week of May. I had used my salary to clear scholarship application bills. I was so optimistic about this one; First, I paid for a professional to review my essays, then paid to get my transcript sent. I have had to re-write the essays a couple of times. It was so perfect, and when my friends greeted me, they almost always added, "How are your applications going" I was so convinced this time that they would not ask me how my applications were going anymore soon but offer their congratulations.

?

Hardly a month later, on a very quiet and sunny afternoon, I was sitting with my colleague turned friend at the office when I received a mail. It was so cold, the cruelest sounding rejection mail I have ever received. Just two lines. It was not so much as the message of the mail as my vivid imaginations that got me broken. I did not know where the pain was coming from exactly. My paint-up emotions, the money and time investment. I developed a severe stomachache immediately and gave a stiffened cry. As my friend tried to comfort me, I kept saying, “Faith, I have invested so much in this," and she went on, "I know, I am so sorry to see you this way, Yemisi."

?

In my attempt to write this edition of Sanity stop, I came up with this example, but it is by no way the hardest I have been hit by pain. It is also in no way compared to the so many stories of pain and grief I have heard. Pain comes in different forms. Sometimes they are rejections. Other times, they come as disappointments, ailments, failures, and even the loss of a loved one. Sometimes I become so disoriented by pain that I get a seat, look at an invisible God and point directly at Him (In a particular direction, I'm not sure he minds my pointing wrongly). "You have failed me again.” Whichever way pain comes to us, they often, in any case, force us to stop.

It is almost as if the idea of stopping is something we are scared of. We want to put the thoughts of our pains behind us so sharply. Sometimes we withdraw; we practice self-denial. Get drowned in work, social media, alcohol, or an addictive habit. Pretend we have gotten it out of our mind and get other 'important' things to occupy it. But it will only take a repeat or an occurrence of something almost similar to trigger us, and the circle repeats itself.

?

It is as if we have been told that the only emotion worth experiencing is joy. As if grieving is not a valid part of life. As if we don’t often share an almost equal portion of these emotions. When you are asked to stiffen your pain, you pay a higher price than you realise. To stiffen one emotion is to stiffen all. While getting into an addictive way of life, including immersing yourself in work, might be a short-term medication, it is always better to allow yourselves to feel pain the way you feel joy. To experience it as a balance that comes with living and get the most from this downtime.

?

In search of the many ways to give credence to my emotions of pain, I found two books I would like to share: The Problem of Pain by C S Lewis and When God Does Not Make Sense by James Dobson. Christians wrote these books, however, the lessons in them can be widely beneficial to anyone. Let me give a quick overview of the two books.

C S Lewis offered a somewhat theoretical way of seeing pain. Theoretical in the sense that he might have experienced some of these pains, but not the loss of his wife. In further reading, he wrote a book called?A Grief Observed,?which documented a reflection on his experiences of grief and anguish after the death of his wife.?In?The Problem of Pain, however, Lewis grapples with the problem of suffering in a world created by an ultimately good and powerful?God. He asked the question, “If God is all that good, why does he allow suffering and pain in the world??I recommend you read chapters 2 and 6 if you find it difficult to read all of them. Here is one of my favorite quotes from the book:?

"What would really satisfy us would be a God who said of anything ?we happened to like doing, “What does it matter so long as they ?are contented?” We want, in fact, not so much a Father in Heaven as a grandfather in heaven — a senile benevolence who, as they say, “liked to see young people enjoying themselves” and whose plan for the universe was simply that it might be truly said at the end of each day, “a good time was had by all." - C S Lewis.

Also, if you have ever asked yourself the question, "why is this happening to me? I am a good person. I don't hurt people. I do my fair share of hard work; why do I deserve this kind of pain?” I will advise that you read When God doesn’t Make Sense. This book is a practical book that gives accounts of various pains by real people Jame Dubson had come across in his work as a counselor. James does not seem to have found an answer, and you would not be able to find one reading the book. However, you will find many who share your experience and how they have addressed their pains. While reading this book, the climax point for me is where James concludes by imploring the readers who have become bitter against God because of their pain to forgive God. Very little to nothing can be done for a man going through pain who believes God hates him or has abandoned him.?God's love is constant irrespective of our miseries. This is hard to figure out, but not so hard if we realise that his best servants went through the fiercest trials.?Sometimes, all you will have to be assured that you are loved profoundly is that you can breathe. In those times, even that would be enough.

?

Dear wayfarer, observe your pain just as you would your joy.

?

A fellow Wayfarer.