The Problem with Pablum and the Too Infrequently Acknowledged Role of Luck

Myths and fairy tales have been an important part of my life for over thirty years. I have personally brought them in to support my training and team building work in large organizations. They have been used in Men's organizations I have been a part of. When I volunteered at the Children's Hospital in Boston in the 90s, I shared these rich stories as part of an entertainment offering for kids and their families going through difficult cancer treatments. I also enjoyed reading them to my own son when he was younger. He enjoyed them too though he would tell you he got spooked by some of them.

The reason is that the original versions of these stories were often a little scary and almost always involved hardship of some kind. Many of the lesser known stories ended nowhere near the "happily ever after" zip code, instead ending in despair, penury, and the death of nearly everyone.

It is widely viewed by anthropologists that many of these now written stories started out as oral traditions. They were passed on throughout the culture by storytellers and family members, certainly as a form of entertainment, but also as a way of passing along important lessons and norms about the culture.

For example, it is hard to read the Illiad and not feel that part of that epic tale is carrying the message for all who heard it that when your pride gets the best of you...as it did with Achilles...and you take your bat and ball and go home, you place your friends, teammates, and countrymen in grave danger.

That was an important message in yesteryear. And it is probably still important today. That is how powerful these stories can be. They carry lasting truths.

...the Illiad...is carrying the message that when your pride gets the best of you...as it did with Achilles...and you take your bat and ball and go home, you place your friends, teammates, and countrymen in grave danger

However, as time has passed, many of the great fairy tales and myths have been co-opted, especially by Hollywood, and turned into a treacle that distorts at best and often completely obnubilates the key symbolic messages of the original oral versions.

Walt Disney's Sleeping Beauty may be Public Enemy #1 in this regard.

The Disney version seems to be an adaptation of the Mother Goose Fairy Tale which came down to us from Charles Perrault's Histoires ou contes du temps passés, avec des moralités (Fairy Tales of Times Past with Morals) published in 1697.

Perrault wrote this book after being fired from his post as secretary of the Academy of Inscriptions. He purportedly compiled these stories from French popular tradition, but his versions were also designed 1) to appeal to children in general and, specifically, his own and 2) to be seen as acceptable in sophisticated court circles (en.wikipedia.org). So how close his stories were to the original oral tradition is a reasonable question.

In Perrault's version of Sleeping Beauty, the accursed princess could only be awakened by the kiss of a King's son. In Disney's bastardization (was that my outside voice?), she could only be awakened by the kiss of a prince she was in love with. In other words, the prince was someone she had already met and fallen in love before being overcome by the curse. In the Disney version said prince, of course, shows up, saves the day, and well, you know the rest.

Blech.

Blech for a lot of reasons, but mostly what is the avec des moralités here? Hope you fall in love and hope the one you fell in love with happens to show up when your bacon is in the fire? Sounds like a bad bet and a bad moral to me.

There are other versions of the Sleeping Beauty story, in particular the version by the Brothers Grimm, that don't seem to be so Prime Time and as such, carry more important messages...messages that are still relevant today even in an age of smart phones.

First, let me share a little bit of background. Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm had been immersed in the rich oral traditions of the late 1700's. The stories they were listening to had been passed down from generation to generation, often by women seeking to pass the time during household chores. The Grimms were scholars and they recognized that the stories and local traditions were dying as industrialization began to take root. They set out to save the stories from extinction and the way they went about their work was to interview relatives and friends and to capture as many tales as they could and as accurately as they could (From Five Facts about the Brothers Grimm from biography.com). As an aside, their approach strikes me as having less of an agenda and is one that is more likely to hew to the original oral versions.

So what are a few differences between the Disney version and the Grimm's version?

Let's start with the title. First, if you pick up a copy of Grimm Fairy Tales and go looking through the table of contents for Sleeping Beauty, you won't find it. That is because their version is entitled Briar Rose. Right out of the gate...it is not just beauty that is the dominant theme, but beauty (rose) with difficulty (briars). Sounds more like real life to me already.

In both versions of the story, the bad fairy, who had been...ancient history's version of..."unfriended," cursed the King and Queen's daughter to die from a wounding caused by a spindle on her 16th birthday. And, in both versions of the story, a good fairy was able to ameliorate the bad fairy's curse so that the princess didn't die but instead went into a deep sleep.

But here the two versions diverge. Unlike the Disney version where the princess would not awaken until she had been kissed by someone she loved, in the Grimm version, the curse was to last for 100 years. That is a huge difference. In one story, your fate hangs on someone else. In the other version, bad luck has befallen you, you're in a tough spot, and you have to weather the storm.

In one story, your fate hangs on someone else. In the other version, bad luck has befallen you, you're in a tough spot, and you have to weather the storm.

What about Mr. Save-the-Day Prince in both stories? Well, not surprising, in the Disney version he has to kill dragons and fight his way through all the briars and the forest to get to the princess in order to administer his alexipharmic kiss. A comic book superhero to be sure.

In the Grimm version, it went like this: when the princess pricked her finger on the spindle and went under the spell, everyone around the princess also fell into a deep sleep...the king, the queen, the horses in the stables...even the flies on the wall. Also, a large hedge of briars started to grow around the castle and every year grew thicker and taller until the castle was completely obscured and forgotten by many.

Over the course of the hundred years, many king's sons heard the rumors of a princess asleep inside a castle under a thicket of thorns and tried to get through to rescue her. None were able to as the "thorns and bushes laid hold of them, as it were with hands; and there they stuck fast, and died wretchedly." (Fairy Tales by the Grimm Brothers, authorama.com)

Now it just so happens that on the very day the 100 year curse was ending, a king's son happened along, heard the story of the sleeping princess trapped in a castle covered in thorn bushes. He decided that it was worth the risk to try to save her, but "as the prince came to the thicket he saw nothing but beautiful flowering shrubs, through which he went with ease, and they shut in after him as thick as ever" (Fairy Tales by the Grimm Brothers, authorama.com). He eventually found the princess, and yes he did kiss her, but there is no indication that his kiss woke her up. The time was up on the curse and guess what, she just woke up.

The prince, who we have always thought saved the damsel in distress, was in fact just in the right place at the right time. In short, he was just plain lucky.

In other words, ladies and gentlemen, in the Grimm version the prince, whom we always thought saved the damsel in distress, was in fact just in the right place at the right time. In short, he was just plain lucky.

In my mind, the Grimm Brothers version of the story does have some avec des moralités and I have already alluded to them.

Hard times befall every one...a string of deals fall through, our shots just don't go in, our results fall off the pace they were on, we develop physical problems that limit some freedoms, our careers suffer setbacks, relationships run aground. That is how it goes.

While it is always always always wise to take 100% responsibility for your part of any situation you are in and correct what you can, when you get dealt a bad hand, sometimes you just have to play it out and wait for the next game. No need to "take it personally," as if it is some kind of commentary on your skills or capabilities or worth as a person. Sometimes it is not about you. Sometimes its about a witch having a bad day that decided to curse you. Don't waste the cycles trying to interpret what it means. If you have done what you can, ride it out.

Sometimes it is not about you. Sometime its about a witch having a bad day that decided to curse you. Don't waste the cycles trying to interpret what it means. If you have done what you can, ride it out.

There is good luck in the story too. The King's son who walked up to the castle right at the end of 100 years, didn't win the princess' hand through his brilliance or his hard work or because of his academic pedigree or because his Dad's relatives came over on the Mayflower. Right place. Right time.

I don't begrudge him that. Not saying he should cancel the wedding or anything. As the saying goes, "sometimes it is better to be lucky than good." But how you handle Good Fortune can help you in the future or work against you.

For example, it is no secret that people who falsely attribute good results that came from luck to their brilliance and hard work, are rather obnoxious to be around. Their "I couldn't have done it without me" attitude make them all but insufferable. Moreover, their overconfidence can actually increase the probability of catastrophes (See my article: Women in Leadership: Not Just Long Overdue But in the Nick of Time.)

Additionally, taking credit for results that have a large luck component means there is a high probability that over time s/he will get to experience some "regression to the mean"...and future results will not live up to results goosed by good fortune. Acknowledging the role of luck in our lives helps guard against this.

Here is the avec des moralités bottom-lined: Cursed? Done what you can? Then ride it out. Good Fortune landed in your lap? Try tipping your hat to your lucky stars.

Other posts of mine that may be of interest:

How to Handle the "Hit in the Mouth"

How and Why to Get Better at Failing

A Few Things We are Doing to Undermine Our Own Relationships

But how you handle Good Fortune can help you in the future or work against you.

Keep the conversation going by sharing your views on luck or anything else.