The Problem with Job Searching: It’s a Bloody Mess, Isn’t It?

Alright, let’s talk about job searching, shall we? It’s an absolute bloody nightmare, and no one seems to be saying it. Well, here I am, shouting it from the rooftops. I’m in desperate need of a job, and I’ve had just about enough of this farce we call “the hiring process.” It’s completely broken, and it’s about time someone put it out there.

Now, I’m not here to sell you some magic formula for getting your dream job. No inspirational speeches, no “you’ve got this, champ” nonsense. No, I’m here to tell you that companies are mucking it up. The way they post jobs, the way they select candidates—it’s all a joke. And the best part? They’re losing out on brilliant people because of it.

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Where Are We Looking for Jobs, Anyway?

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Let’s start with the obvious. Where are most of us going to find jobs? If you’re like me—skint, over it, and just trying to get by—you probably head over to LinkedIn. Why LinkedIn? I don’t know, because we’ve been brainwashed into thinking it’s the professional thing to do, right? It’s easy to use, and it makes you feel like you’re actually doing something. But is it any good? Well, sort of.

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1. It’s simple: You can set it up so you get notified when something new pops up, and it’s relatively painless.

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2. It gives you options: You search for one thing, and it throws up similar jobs. Sometimes you get something relevant, and sometimes you get utter rubbish, but hey, at least it’s trying.

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3. Filters: This is the good bit. You can filter for jobs that have been posted in the last 24 hours, which makes you think you’ve got a head start. Spoiler alert: you haven’t.

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The Broken Application Process

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Now, let’s get into the nitty-gritty—the application process. This is where things really go downhill. You spend 20-30 minutes filling out an application, tweaking your CV, writing a cover letter that’s so painfully tailored, it’s practically crying, and for what? For it to disappear into the ether, never to be seen again. And why? Because half the jobs out there aren’t even real. Yeah, you heard me—NOT REAL.

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1. The Phantom Jobs

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You ever notice how you apply for a job and hear absolutely nothing? Like, not even a polite “thanks but no thanks.” It’s not because you’re rubbish (although sometimes, let’s be honest, you might be), but because the job itself doesn’t even exist. Some companies are just fishing for data—your salary expectations, your location, how old you are. They’ve no intention of hiring anyone, but they’ll happily waste your time. Brilliant, right?

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2. The Torture of Application Systems

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And don’t even get me started on application platforms. They’re meant to make things easier, but instead, they turn the whole process into a tedious chore. You upload your CV, thinking you’ve got it sorted, and what happens? The system spits out random nonsense. Suddenly, I’m applying for a job as a “tabletop designer” with a degree in “watchacallit” Then I have to go in and manually fix every little thing.

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Some of these platforms, like Workday or Taleo, are the absolute worst. You upload your CV, but they still make you fill in the same information, again and again, field by field. Why? Because their algorithms demand it. Apparently, they need everything to be perfectly formatted before they can decide if you’re worthy of consideration. It’s like being judged by a robot that’s just out to get you.

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3. AI: The New Gatekeeper

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Now we’ve got AI to contend with. Everyone’s acting like it’s this amazing new tool that’s going to revolutionize everything. Really? All it’s done is create a system where applicant tracking software automatically rejects you if you don’t have the right buzzwords in your CV. It doesn’t matter if you’re the most qualified person for the job. If you didn’t use “synergy” in the right place, you’re out.

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And what’s happening? People are fighting AI with AI. They’ve built programs to manipulate the system—tools that use keywords to make sure their CV gets through. It’s like a digital arms race. But for people like me, who don’t know how to code, we’re left in the dust. Perfect.

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The Illusion of “Easy Apply”

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Now, let’s talk about “Easy Apply” on LinkedIn. It’s like a little ray of hope, isn’t it? You see that button, and for a brief moment, you think, “This is it. I’ve got a shot.” And then you click it, only to discover that 500 other people have done the same thing. It’s a cattle call, and you’re just another number. Sure, it’s easy, but it’s not getting you anywhere.

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What Companies Should Be Doing—But Aren’t

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If companies really wanted to hire the best people, they’d fix their hiring processes. But let’s be honest, they won’t. Still, here’s what they should do:

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1. Make it easier: For the love of everything holy, just give us a simple application process. Use Easy Apply, make your own system less painful, or better yet, just let us email you directly.

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2. Stop lying: Get rid of these phantom job postings. If you’re not hiring, don’t post the job. It’s not hard. We’re not here to provide you with data on our personal lives. We’re here for actual jobs.

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3. Fix the bloody ATS: Applicant Tracking Systems are meant to help, not get in the way. They’re filtering out good people because their CVs don’t match some ridiculous algorithm’s idea of perfection. How about a human looks at it? Radical idea, I know.

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4. Communicate: How about a little acknowledgment? Send us a rejection email if you’re not interested. We can take it. But don’t just leave us hanging, wondering what happened. It’s cruel. This also applies to transparency about the salary as that is also something that should be communicated beforehand. Also, it would be nice after 4 interviews to at least be notified why you were not successful. If I don't get to the finish line, I want to know if it was something that I did, or if a bomb exploded and the job opportunity disappeared, leaving all successful applicants not knowing if their impostor syndrome is acting up or they are really just bloody useless.

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Final Thoughts from a Job Seeker on the Edge

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Look, I just want a job. I’m not asking for much. I’m not expecting to walk into some cushy position where I’m showered with praise. But I do expect the process of applying to not feel like I’m in some dystopian nightmare. The way things are now, it’s enough to drive anyone mad.

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Companies are losing out on great people because they’ve made the hiring process too complicated, too impersonal, and too bloody frustrating. If they want to attract top talent, they need to simplify, be more transparent, and stop making us feel like we’re competing in some kind of twisted game show.

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And with that, I’m off to LinkedIn again. Maybe this time, I’ll hit “Easy Apply” and actually get a response. Probably not, but who knows?