The Problem with Gurus

Welp. Time for a bit of a mea culpa.

Recently, I spent (read: wasted) $6,800 earmarked for starting my business, BounceBack Studio. This was the fee to work "with" a super successful guru in the fashion industry who'd built two $10M businesses in less than 6 years. For me, the proof was in the pudding and I had actually purchased his goods before which seemed to validate both his expertise and justify coughing up the money. The thought of incorporating my dream "athleisure" brand into the launch of BounceBack Studio and being able to literally work alongside a titan in the industry seemed too good a golden opportunity to pass up. Welllllllll...not quite.

After an initial Zoom call that he was 30 minutes late for (and those who know me know how I feel about punctuality), I never again had another exclusively one-on-one Zoom call with the brutha. Instead, I was summarily handed off to his army of minions whom were merely emulating their king, poorly. Worry not. This isn't a hit piece. It takes two to tango in any business or personal relationship or transaction so i'm definitely owning my shit. However, what was sold to me was a different experience. Sure, there were a number of interactions on their private Slack channel...many saying, "Hey (Minion), keep me close on this one. He already has business experience and a brand so we can move faster here," when I often asked the guru if something were necessary or was quite vocal if I didn't like a rev they did on certain designs. Sure, his requests to his minion felt a bit like special treatment and allowed me to overlook a number of rookie mistakes in execution and far-too-cookie-cutter graphic designs, clearly cut from a template I'd seen on, like, every social.

However, there was one particular aspect of their approach that really soured me on the experience and left me feeling like I'd been, essentially, duped.

"Our Way or the Highway."

During my initial call with the guru I remember him specifically asking if I had an issue (blithely) following their plan. He stressed that what they do works and that if I just give in to the process, I'd potentially be a million-dollar brand in no time. I'm not a follower by any means, but I am trainable, so I softly agreed knowing damn well that if whatever they were prescribing didn't align with my values or goals, I'd likely be coloring outside lines...zero fux.

So, we moved forward and I was thrust into a rather elaborate labyrinth of live, group Zoom calls with people at a similar stage of the process with their brands, writing mission statements, creating design briefs, creating and submitting brand assets, tech packs, etc. I was also assigned my own project manager who would actually be walking me through the process from inception to completion. And that's where things went sideways. (See my post on "The Handoff." )

I actually vibed really well with the guru. My project manager, not so much. Very likable person, but I'd wipe the floor with him if we were pitted against each other in a competition. Not hubris, FACTS. I attended numerous group calls and got so familiar with his one liners that I was softly mouthing them word-for-word each time someone asked a question. One thing I also noticed was that a majority of the callers seemed a little irritated with the slow speed of following up with their requests. These calls always had about 50-75 attendees with at least 70% with their virtual hand raised at the beginning of the call. ($6,800 a pop...do the math) Those calls were, essentially, a real time catch up on the work that wasn't done or Slack messages that had gone unanswered during the previous week(s). Watching him sharpshoot in the moment was impressive, but not what I'd signed up for. This was sold as mentorship with the guru, not a late homework session (in the middle of my workday, mind you) by a minion.

So my biggest rub was the fact that they were doubled down on this "our way or the highway" concept. And their approach was to create a design or two that was bold enough to gather eyeballs and likes on TikTok and Instagram and eventually go viral. That virality would be your magic bullet upon which you'd be able to build a successful brand. That's fair. On paper. But the issue is that my brand isn't about bright, bold designs with colors from the brightest section of the rainbow, massive in-your-face graphics, and what I deemed to clearly be "what was poppin' on the streets of Atlanta." (Their HQ) As per my meticulously worded design brief, my customer was more refined and likely going from "gym to private jet to late lunch with friends in another state the same day." My inspiration was more aligned with the incredible work of Fear of God and Represent vs. TikTok design star #1 and underground rapper-turned-fashionista #2.

I brought this up at least a few times verbally and in the comments and was told to "trust the process." His thinking was that I should focus on going viral with a super bold design that would "arrest scrolling" and gather likes that translate to orders placed. Once I'd landed on and sold out of that product, then I could introduce products that were more aligned with my minimalist aesthetic and predicated on cut, fit, and finish. Sorry, bruh, this never sat well with me for a number of reasons.

First, it felt disingenuous. I was low-key being forced to put something out that went against my aesthetic simply to go viral and bring all the boys to the yard. The problem I saw with that is while I'm confident I could create that design (or source it), I'd be screwing myself and deceiving my new customers the second I started putting out the designs I'd originally intentioned. I likened it to following a band or a recording artist for years because they created a very specific kind of music. Then, without warning, decided to go in a completely different direction artistically on the next album leaving you feeling like, "WTF?!"

Second, it felt like I was being forced to check my artistic integrity and comply with what previously and solely worked for them instead of helping me find a way to market validate and go viral with my own designs and aesthetic. Real talk, it felt lazy and prescriptive to me from an organization who'd accepted thousands of dollars of my and others' money...of course laden with that douchey, guru jargon of "it actually costs more money to not act than it does to commit to becoming successful by investing this money in yourself." Uck.

I could tell I was becoming a bit of an annoyance for our friend because I was creating a bit of a mutiny in the comments disagreeing with the virality approach of pushing Atlanta streetwear down my potential customers' throats whom would rather be caught by TMZ in the knockoff cleaning products aisle of a $0.99 store wearing haute couture. I could feel a shadow ban coming...and it did. TL, DR: my mentorship randomly ended 2 weeks early with not so much as a "good luck with your future endeavors" by the guru. Sigh. My choices sometimes...SMH.

So Here's the Thing with Gurus

Gurus are typically the loudest, but not always the best-at. They may be successful, but their success won't necessarily convert to your success. They were able to create success in a vertical where they found an opportunity in the market and capitalized on it. No shame or duplicity there. However, when they weaponize that success with sales funnels, living on the socials, forcing their image on everything and opinions into every conversation, and charging exorbitant fees for select group masterminds and knowledge share cabals, that's where I have a problem.

Many have called me a "guru" within the Executive Assistant and Chief of Staff community, to which I absolutely recoil. Yes, I've built a couple of successful brands and (I hope) a solid reputation on LinkedIn, but it was never with the intent of duping anyone or seeming in any way like I was "the chosen one" leading the flock. Truthfully, when I felt this kind of pressure and started being pitted against my peers, including some of my legacy peers bullying me in my DMs and one even trying to sabotage a multi-thousand dollar speaking gig, I bounced. For me, it was never about recognition, though it was necessary to quickly build a brand based on my 30 years of expertise in the space in order to travel 30 weeks a year and share what worked for me in my career. My goal was always to help people succeed by avoiding a lot of the bullshit I had to deal with coming up in the game vs. giving them some weird ass play-by-play and forcing them to stay on-script. I remember people used to get so upset with me because I would intentionally never publish my agendas ahead of my events in their cities around the world. Trust me, that wasn't to be a dick. It was simply because I wanted people to show up at the table with zero preconceived notions, as their authentic selves, with a lot of curiosity, and ready to share their own, unique experience vs. trapezing from every syllable of mine.

My Lesson

The experience with this guru actually validated a couple of things for me:

1. I needed to focus on ONE THING...launching BounceBack Studio. Everything else I was doing was a distraction and only subtracting from the intention of what I was actually most passionate about: helping people find both physical and mental fitness and wellness within a community of others seeking the same. That's it. Funny thing is, I'd purchased a heat press even before signing up with the guru, and had started pressing my logo on the back of every hoodie and long sleeve t-shirt I owned. People really love the logo and have been asking me where they can purchase my merch. For me, that's validation enough and a form factor that I can get behind and produce in sensible quantities that grow over time. As the business grows and as I get staffed up, I can add another piece or two to the collection and see how goes. The long game, I've found, is more my vibe than chasing virality. That realization was a $6,800 lesson. Oof.
2. Validation is guru-free. Admittedly, I fell victim to a get-rich-quick scheme. Full admission. It was packaged really nicely tho, y'all, and it really did feel like I was going to be on weekly calls with guru dude whom I'd respected based on the quality and quantity of his content. Nah. I got booted into the labyrinth, assigned to a minion, and when I rebelled, got booted early. *shrug Truthfully, I didn't need validation from this dude or his organization. All I needed was to trust my instincts, stay focused on my ultimate goal, and execute on that. Instead, I made the classic mistake of a #sucka and whipped out my credit card only to be handed a lump of fools' gold. Do I believe some people could become successful following this guru's scheme? Sure. But I'm not that guy. And my core customers are definitely not wearing the shit they were low-key forcing me to create. And, truthfully, I don't want those customers' eyeballs or money. I'm good.

Their idea for my brand: (my design interpretation...it's kinda dope, but not "me.")

My design aesthetic (and future first drop):

In Conclusion

You don't need a guru. If they have what you perceive to be invaluable information then, yes, roll the dice. However, I've found that my instincts are much better indicators and harbingers of my success than what any guru has taught me in my entire 54 years on this planet. IMHO gurus are for those who haven't really tapped into their own personal power or are silently fearful (raises hand) when launching into unknown, unvalidated territory and falsely believe that a guru will help them cut to the chase. I tacitly ignored my own red flags and even "flexed" working with this complete disappointment. Sorry 'bout that. This hat tastes terrible, btw.

Put your plan together. Test it on the willing. Make adjustments based on their feedback. Test it again. Then put it out, imperfect, and see how goes. The beauty of authenticity is that your customers will overlook your gaffs and even help you fix them if you're honest, forthright, and focused on providing an amazing experience for anyone who parts with their hard-earned cash. Today's crop of gurus sell snake oil, not focus, intention, or authenticity. So leave them to their circus acts and seek mentorship from local heroes and people who aren't asking you for thousands of dollars for their sage advice. They're right under your nose in the form of your CEO aching for a teaching moment, your local merchant aching for their own way of paying it forward, or the myriad of connections you have on the socials who are SMEs at their "thing."

Again, this isn't a hit piece. I made a poor, rather expensive (lack of) judgment call here. But I'm wiser for it. And when I execute on what I innately know will be life changing for some, the money will come. No need to rush the process.

Good luck out there. Read the book. Keep your money, peeps.