The Problem with the Engineering & Construction Industry is Not Them, It's YOU!

Working in our industry the pressure is high, there are a multitude of constraints, demands, risks, compliance factors, and accountabilities. As engineers and project managers, we are expected to act fast and make decisions with potentially expensive consequences.

Your superiors, colleagues, contractors, consultants, clients, stakeholders, and suppliers may come at you from any direction at any time, with their own strong opinions, demands, criticisms, complaints, and lines of questioning over your work.

Not only are we striving to avoid potential disasters, but it is not uncommon to find ourselves in situations when our thinking, decisions, responsibilities, and progress are challenged rightly or wrongly and at will by stakeholders, peers or colleagues. We can be approached physically, by email, a phone call, or on Teams at any time by bewildered, frustrated or imposing individuals seething just below the surface.

Motives behind the actions of these people do vary, so do intentions, but so do tactics of persuasion to influence you. Either way, does it ever feel OK to succumb to the pressure, and simply do as you are told under those circumstances when you are put on the spot? Or are you more likely to retaliate?

On edge? No wonder so many people in our industry feel in a constant state of hyper-alertness, anxiety, and stress, when work feels like they are in the line of fire where they could be taken out at any moment.

What if you had the skills to flip how you feel and break this hindrance to high performance?

We must develop resilience.

Now resilience is not just about developing a thicker skin and toughening up, but rather a smarter way of responding to emotionally charged, high-stakes situations.

When we are not prepared for these conflicts, and especially when we don’t know how to handle them, we can become overwhelmed with a rush of blood to the head, lavish ourselves with heaps of self-doubt, and the incapacity to respond in a meaningful way.

You feel on the spot and under pressure to speak in response to them, quickly and succinctly. But it is difficult, your words get stuck, you feel a lump in your throat, you sound incoherent, rushed, and hesitant. You are like a deer in the headlights, not representing yourself in your best light. I know, I’ve been there too. You look and feel incompetent.

Over stretched periods of time, this can end up in a downward spiral of stress, burnout, depleted performance, loss of credibility, negatively impacting on key relationships, and ultimately project outcomes. Not a good look!

Moreover, when we don’t handle these situations well, we can create a toxic work environment. This can lead to a loss of trust, confidence, and commitment to us, and our projects can spiral out of control.

BUT ALAS, ITS NOT THEM, ITS YOU!

What would you do if you had the skills to shift the tone of the conversation, and respectfully uncover the root of the issue productively, as you see your counterpart transform from The Hulk to a Puppy right before your very eyes?

If we can develop the right skills and techniques to continue functioning in difficult situations, we can not only survive these situations, but come out on top. We must learn to stay in touch with our rational cognitive functions, to optimise incoming information and keep our emotions in check.

Even across the notorious adversarial contractual divide, across multi-disciplinary teams, with harsh and unforgiving clients and stakeholders.?If you choose to, it is within you to go beyond the technical to transform conflict into cooperation.

Here are 5 key principles to change the way you look at difficult situations forever and set you on your way to converting your adversary to become a champion of your cause – even across the contractual divide, between multi-disciplinary silos, and with difficult stakeholders and clients.

1)???Stress Kills Performance

Research demonstrates that stress is a certain precursor for conflict. It is clear that conflict on projects is directly linked to stressed leaders.

So this could be a good time to check in with yourself to feel where you are at on the stress spectrum. Do this especially so before you approach someone or when someone approaches you, or before you respond to that snotty email.

Think about it!

2)???Conflict? Yeah, for sure!

Burying your head in the sand is not a good strategy if you want to avoid conflict. In our industry it is part and parcel of what we do, in one form or another.

Instead, just accept that you too will have your fair share of the rough. So, you have to decide. Will you attain the skills to nip conflict in the bud, so you can get on with being productive and reach your goals, or not?

3)???It’s Nothing Personal

It might feel personal. You could turn on yourself and think you are completely incompetent. You might pursue a vendetta on your counterpart. You might even go scrawling through files and emails looking to prove yourself right and squeaky clean. What a waste of time.

Get over yourself, it’s not about you! Forget about any part of your anatomy ending up in the sling. Want a fight? Then you are heading for a losing streak of counterproductivity over the long term.

What you need is to be able to identify the issues there and then. Get to the bottom of them before you part ways because conflict delayed is conflict multiplied!

4)???Best of Intentions

?The fa?ade of your counterpart might be terrible, or terribly deceiving. You could come up against a genuine aggressor or manipulator, or they could be genuinely confused or frustrated.

You’ve heard the phrase, never judge a book by its cover. This could be appropriate here. So you could continue on the superficial level and front aggression with aggression, or surrender to subservience. Or you could look to understand the other person’s intention and motive by going behind the veil.

5)???Adversary to Ally

Become the Judo master that converts your adversary to become your closest ally. The analogy I like to use is how people who practice the judo form of martial arts, use their opponents energy to their own advantage - and to win.

You can engage in combat, tit for tat, or you can use this encounter as an opportunity to tap into the other person, and actively align their motives to your overall cause, intentionally.

I’d love to know your thoughts and to develop the conversation. Message me or comment below.

Meanwhile, if you want to know more about how to be Resilient Under Fire, I have a free 20 minute Live Session on LinkedIn this week to expand on this and to give you more value on how to take these skills into your life.?

Check out this link below for when it will be, depending on where you are in the world.

Hope to see you there.