The Problem with Always Wanting More

The Problem with Always Wanting More

Years ago, I had a client who had a net worth of $5 million. He wanted to be coached so that he could build his net worth to $10 million because he believed that with $10 million, he would feel happy, satisfied, and secure.

I explained to him that if he didn’t feel happy, satisfied, and secure with $5 million, chances were that no matter how much money he had he would feel exactly as he did at that moment.

I suggested we work on helping him develop a satisfaction habit. That wasn't what he wanted to hear. He just wanted $10 million.

In contrast, I had a conversation with a friend of mine who had just returned from Tibet. He described the intense poverty of the people he saw who were happy and generally satisfied with their lives despite lacking what you and I would consider essentials.

In the United States, we’re taught to always want more.

Ads for cars, electronic devices, and luxury trips permeate the airwaves – along with endless commercials for antidepressants, pain medications, and a host of other remedies for illnesses often caused by stress.

More Money Won't Fix It

I often hear, “If only I had more money, everything would be okay and I could feel happy, satisfied, and secure."

After talking to dozens of financial advisors and people who are considered to be in the 1%, it's clear that money doesn't automatically create happiness, satisfaction, or feelings of security.

As often occurs, the more people acquire, the more they fear losing what they have.

In an interview, Warren Buffett was asked how he defines wealth. He answered that he measures wealth by how much love people have in their lives. He said he knows a lot of rich people who aren't wealthy because they're very alone.

Develop a Satisfaction Habit

People are often afraid to be satisfied with what they have because they fear that if they’re okay with what they have, they’ll be stuck where they are.

But here's the paradox: the more satisfied you are with what you have the more likely you are to generate more of what will allow you to feel happy, satisfied, and secure.

With that comes inner peace.

In my experience, once people develop a satisfaction habit, they often feel more relaxed and comfortable with who they are and their place in the world.

Here Are Some Suggestions

Giving up a wanting-more habit requires conscious effort and intention.

  • Once a day, sit and do nothing for at least 2 minutes. Aim for 5 and then 10 minutes. During that time, watch your thoughts, listen to the sounds around you, feel your clothing against your body, or watch your breathing.
  • When you hear yourself thinking that you need more of something, ask yourself why.
  • When you have a strong urge to buy something, wait a week and see if that urge is still there.

If you think you need more money, you probably need more people because money always comes from people. The craving for money is often a symptom of aloneness.

#prosperity #peaceofmind #Dopamine

Catherine Jewell, Career Coach

Boost Your Salary and Find a Job Faster! | LinkedIn Career Expert | Target Job Identification | Resumes | Interview Prep | Executive Networking | Salary Negotiations | Author of Empowered Networking

11 个月

Thanks for this. It comes at a time when I really need to consider the blessings I have in my life -- both people and things. I love your satisfaction habit.

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Reiner Lomb

Author, Speaker and CEO at BoomerangCoach

11 个月

Well said, Joan Sotkin!

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Tanya Bugbee ?? ??

Transforming Real Estate Pros to Top Producers ?? by creating a clear vision and bold, tailored strategies. Ditch the ?? ride, Calm the Chaos & navigate to success! All Business Owners included! | PCC | CPCC

11 个月

Great tip: sit with yourself for 5 minutes. In it!

Victor La Cerva

Still on the path!

11 个月

The best definition I ever heard of "enough" is "just a little bit more!" I love the idea of a satisfaction habit, to make that my default rather than more more.

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