Probably the greatest book review ever written: Michael Deacon on Dan Brown Dant′s Inferno ...
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Probably the greatest book review ever written - Michael Deacon on Inferno, for UK newspaper The Telegraph, 2013:
"Renowned author Dan Brown woke up in his luxurious four-poster bed in his expensive $10 million house – and immediately he felt angry. Most people would have thought that the 48-year-old man had no reason to be angry. After all, the famous writer had a new book coming out. But that was the problem. A new book meant an inevitable attack on the rich novelist by the wealthy wordsmith’s fiercest foes. The critics.
Renowned author Dan Brown hated the critics. Ever since he had become one of the world’s top renowned authors they had made fun of him. They had mocked bestselling book The Da Vinci Code, successful novel Digital Fortress, popular tome Deception Point, money-spinning volume Angels & Demons and chart-topping work of narrative fiction The Lost Symbol.
The critics said his writing was clumsy, ungrammatical, repetitive and repetitive. They said it was full of unnecessary tautology. They said his prose was swamped in a sea of mixed metaphors. For some reason they found something funny in sentences such as “His eyes went white, like a shark about to attack.” They even say my books are packed with banal and superfluous description, thought the 5ft 9in man. He particularly hated it when they said his imagery was nonsensical. It made his insect eyes flash like a rocket.
Renowned author Dan Brown got out of his luxurious four-poster bed in his expensive $10 million house and paced the bedroom, using the feet located at the ends of his two legs to propel him forwards. He knew he shouldn’t care what a few jealous critics thought. His new book Inferno was coming out on Tuesday, and the 480-page hardback published by Doubleday with a recommended US retail price of $29.95 was sure to be a hit. Wasn’t it?
I’ll call my agent, pondered the prosperous scribe. He reached for the telephone using one of his two hands. “Hello, this is renowned author Dan Brown,” spoke renowned author Dan Brown. “I want to talk to literary agent John Unconvincingname.”
“Mr Unconvincingname, it’s renowned author Dan Brown,” told the voice at the other end of the line. Instantly the voice at the other end of the line was replaced by a different voice at the other end of the line.
“Hello, it’s literary agent John Unconvincingname,” informed the new voice at the other end of the line.“
Hello agent John, it’s client Dan,” commented the pecunious scribbler. “I’m worried about new book Inferno. I think critics are going to say it’s badly written.
”The voice at the other end of the line gave a sigh, like a mighty oak toppling into a great river, or something else that didn’t sound like a sigh if you gave it a moment’s thought. “Who cares what the stupid critics say?” advised the literary agent. “They’re just snobs. You have millions of fans.
”That’s true, mused the accomplished composer of thrillers that combined religion, high culture and conspiracy theories. His books were read by everyone from renowned politician President Obama to renowned musician Britney Spears. It was said that a copy of The Da Vinci Code had even found its way into the hands of renowned monarch the Queen. He was grateful for his good fortune, and gave thanks every night in his prayers to renowned deity God.
“Think of all the money you’ve made,” recommended the literary agent. That was true too. The thriving ink-slinger’s wealth had allowed him to indulge his passion for great art. Among his proudest purchases were a specially commissioned landscape by acclaimed painter Vincent van Gogh and a signed first edition by revered scriptwriter William Shakespeare.
Renowned author Dan Brown smiled, the ends of his mouth curving upwards in a physical expression of pleasure. He felt much better. If your books brought innocent delight to millions of readers, what did it matter whether you knew the difference between a transitive and an intransitive verb?
“Thanks, John,” he thanked. Then he put down the telephone and perambulated on foot to the desk behind which he habitually sat on a chair to write his famous books on an Apple iMac MD093B/A computer. New book Inferno, the latest in his celebrated series about fictional Harvard professor Robert Langdon, was inspired by top Italian poet Dante. It wouldn’t be the last in the lucrative sequence, either. He had all the sequels mapped out. The Mozart Acrostic. The Michelangelo Wordsearch. The Newton Sudoku.
The 190lb adult male human being nodded his head to indicate satisfaction and returned to his bedroom by walking there. Still asleep in the luxurious four-poster bed of the expensive $10 million house was beautiful wife Mrs Brown. Renowned author Dan Brown gazed admiringly at the pulchritudinous brunette’s blonde tresses, flowing from her head like a stream but made from hair instead of water and without any fish in. She was as majestic as the finest sculpture by Caravaggio or the most coveted portrait by Rodin. I like the attractive woman, thought the successful man.
Perhaps one day, inspired by beautiful wife Mrs Brown, he would move into romantic poetry, like market-leading British rhymester John Keats.That would be good, opined the talented person, and got back into the luxurious four-poster bed.
He felt as happy as a man who has something to be happy about and is suitably happy about it.Inferno by Dan Brown 470pp, Bantam Press, rrp ￡20"
- Michael Deacon on Inferno, for UK newspaper The Telegraph, 2013
Botticelli Featuring Dante. The Divine Comedy as a Renaissance graphic novel ...
The Art of Sandro Botticelli - La mappa dell'Inferno, Dante Alighieri, Divina Commedia illustrata da Sandro Botticelli. / Dante Alighieri, Divina Commedia,
The Map of Hell painting by Botticelli is one of the extant ninety-two drawings that were originally included in the illustrated manuscript of Dante's Divine Comedy commissioned by Lorenzo di Pierfrancesco de' Medici.
Dante's Inferno, widely hailed as one of the great classics of Western literature, details Dante's journey through the nine circles of Hell.
The voyage begins during Easter week in the year 1300, the descent through Hell starting on Good Friday. After meeting his guide, the eminent Roman poet Virgil, in a mythical dark wood, the two poets begin their descent through a baleful world of doleful shades, horrifying tortures, and unending lamentation.
This edition of the Inferno is edited in XML (Extensible Markup Language), which allows users to perform searches for a wide range of entities across the entire poem.
Above the Italian and English texts users will see a band listing six categories. Click on any of these terms for a list of the Creatures, Deities, Images, People, Places, and Structures found in each canto. Information will appear 1) as abbreviations in the margin between the Italian and English versions (ie PL for Place) and 2) in list form to the right of the English translation. Click on any terms listed under the categories for additional information. Readers can view at a glance the wide range of expressions that Dante uses to characterize people, places, creatures and other entities throughout the poem.
Every canto also contains visual material, keyed to specific passages. Click on Images to view a list of the visual material available for each canto. To view the images click on the terms or names in the right margin. Follow the links for additional information on the images. The letter I between in the margin between the English and Italian texts indicates the passage which the image illustrates.
At all timers users can also access an interactive version of Botticelli's Chart of Hell, maps of Italy, additional visual material, and an interactive timeline. All these features are intended to deepen readers' appreciation of the richness of Dante's poetic language and his remarkable visual imagination.Inferno - Chart of Hell, The Abyss of Hell, 1480s, coloured drawing on . Dante imagined Hell as being an abyss with nine circles, which in turn divided into various rings. Botticelli's cross-section view of the underworld is drawn so finely and precisely that it is possible to trace the individual stops made by Dante and Virgil on their descent to the centre of the earth.
This coloured drawing on parchment shows the Abyss of Hell.parchment, 320 x 470 mm. Biblioteca Apostolica Vaticana, Rome.
In each circle, the damned are punished for a specific sin, according to the following structure:
First circle: Limbo (place for unbaptized and the virtuous pagans)
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Second circle: lust
Third circle: gluttony
Fourth circle: greed
Fifth circle: wrath and sloth
Sixth circle: heresy
Seventh circle: violence
Seventh circle is divided into three rings:
Outer ring: violent against people and property
Middle ring: suicides and profligates
Inner ring: violent against God (blasphemers) and violent against nature
Eighth circle: fraud
Eight circle is called Malebolge and is divided into ten ditches. This part of Dante’s Inferno, or better this part of Botticelli’s Map of Hell, plays a key role in Dan Brown’s Inferno.
First ditch: panderers and seducers
Second ditch: flatterers
Third ditch: who committed simony
Forth ditch: sorcerers, astrologers, and false prophets
Fifth ditch: corrupt politicians (barrators)
Sixth ditch: hypocrites
Seventh ditch: thieves
Eight ditch: fraudulent advisers or evil counselors
Ninth ditch: sowers of discord
Ten ditch: falsifiers (alchemists, counterfeiters, perjurers, and impostors)
Ninth circle: treachery
Ninth circle is dived into four rounds:
First round: traitors to kindred
Second round: traitors to political entities, such as parties, cities, or countries
Third round: traitors to their guests
Forth round: traitors to their lords and benefactors.
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