Proactive OR Procrastinate

In commemoration of International Women’s Day, let’s examine some the lessons, women and men, of all colors and ages, can learn from what’s transpired over the past few months like:

The value of communicating proactively instead of procrastinating or remaining silent.

Proactive communication can be disruptive! Yet it is our most valuable tool. It allows us to fortify our relationships AND articulate what we want, need and where our boundaries lie. It enables us to share innovative ideas, seek promotions, spearhead projects, lead teams, and sell our product and services.

Direct communication can be tough to deliver; even tougher to receive. And experience tells me that it is waning throughout our society. How about yours?

Below are the four basic communication styles. Take a moment and name your style. And then look around. Understanding the communication styles of your people can be a most valuable exercise, as is understanding their potential.

The Four Communication Styles:

1. Passive
2. Aggressive
3. Passive/Aggressive
4. Effective

Passive Communicators choose not to express their feelings and opinions and assert themselves. Ignoring important issues and opportunities can leave passive communicators behind and feeling anxious, resentful, regretful, or even depressed.

Aggressive Communicators advocate for their needs in a domineering and sometimes verbally belittling manner. They speak loudly, interrupt frequently, and can insult and alienate the people around them.

Passive/Aggressive Communicators appear outwardly calm as their frustration builds. They act out of exasperation in subtle, subversive or unexpected ways that seem out-of-character. By not addressing issues directly and timely, they can alienate themselves from others, become resentful, and wreak havoc with reprisals.

Effective Communicators are able to clearly state what they need, calmly share their opinions and ideas, and confidently advocate for their rights without violating the rights of others. Effective communicators value and respect themselves and other. They expect occasional discomfort, work to understand it, and overcome it with time, focus, patience and practice.    

    Once you do this exercise, tally it up. Who is more passive? More aggressive?

    If you think passivity is on the increase because of the over-reliance on computers and smart phones, you’re right! But remember the Silver Rule: You can’t change them, only you. Be the role model, whether you’re in a leadership position or not. Walk over or pick up the phone and speak directly. Then listen to understand.

    Effective communication is bi-directional. We call this “slowing down to speed up”.

    Becoming a proactive communicator will help you save time (and money!), in the long run. It does wonders to build trust; a sense of belonging, especially after engaging in challenging discussions. It aids in boosting confidence, because the best way to increase esteem is to continuously take on challenges. 

    If passivity prevails or worsens, females won’t rise, nor will males or the younger generation but, the passive-aggressive will!

Would you like to share your results? Let’s connect for a complimentary strategy session, Speaking and Communicating Mindfully for Powerful Results, to increase the power and potential of your people through communicating effectively.

Above is a partial excerpt from “Guide to a Richer Life: Know Your Worth, Find Your Voice, Speak Your Mind” by Donna Mac. A powerful advocate for effective communications, Donna is a presenter, coach and trainer and also the author of “The Six Pillars of Effective Communication” (audio) and the “Appreciation, #YayMe Journal.”

Connect with Donna or visit www.dmacvoice.com