#PrivilegeHacking, or A Few Ways To Continue Emancipation

[Tomorrow is Juneteenth, the day commemorating the emancipation of slaves in the US. In the past, like many white people, I haven’t quite known what to say or do on Juneteenth (or the other 364 days of the year) that isn’t just lip service about equality. It's also Pride month here in the states. Here's what happened when the two collided in my head.]

Over the last few years, the concept of #PrivilegeHacking has begun to coalesce in my head. I'll say my thoughts about the idea here, and then step back to see where the discussion leads us. The concept of privilege hacking comes from a need to own my role in (and benefits from) systems of oppression as a white person born male—and to reconcile that with the fact that I also experience oppression and systemic challenges due to (less visible) aspects of myself like being Queer and having disabilities.?

Like #GrowthHacking, which seeks to create network effects for exponential growth of new companies and products, my hope is to share the privileges I have with others in a way which restores and expands equity. I have been hacking privilege for years. I create and participate in network effects that give me access to privileged spaces as a Queer person who might not otherwise have access.

Why?

While the predominant narrative of the US is about freedom from tyranny (in this case, of the English), another narrative is that the US was also founded as a state BASED on slavery. The United States' rebellion against the British was in part because the English were not supportive of continued slave trade in the Americas, and the white Americans' economies depended on exploitation of people of color, specifically Black people. The "Somerset Case" in London established that slavery was incompatible with British law, which motivated much of the desire of slave-owning colonists to separate from Britain—this was much of the 'tyranny' that colonists were 'rebelling' against. White people who live in the US, participate in US economies, or otherwise are connected to wealth in the US are benefitting from a legacy of slavery and its aftereffects of both institutionalized and informal bias (even if it's not conscious or 'intentional).

The question for all of us who benefitted from slavery or other forms of oppression is what we are doing to reverse those harms.?

• The opposite of racism and slavery isn't colorblindness. It's anti-racism—the active dismantling of discriminatory systems and biases, and the repair and restoration of equity.?
• The opposite of phobias of others (like xenophobia, transphobia, homophobia, etc) isn’t tolerance, it’s celebration and interdependence.
• The opposite of misogyny isn’t equal pay—it’s a gender revolution.

Strategies for #PrivilegeHacking: Sharing and Multiplying Privilege for Good

Here are some tangible ways to #PrivilegeHack, beyond the obvious and important strategies of giving money and goods (traditional capital) to organizations who are already doing the work of restoring justice and equity, like Black Girls Code (BGC's site). This is also not a treatise on financial reparations, an important related topic.?

These strategies are a starting point to prompt new thinking about how to share social capital—including influence, reputation, and networks—in the context of business and careers. This sums up a lot of things that minorities already know, but which a lot of privileged folks overlook. And since many people have privileges in some areas but not others, perhaps we can all benefit from seeing multiple sides of the equation.

Who this is for:

This is an introduction to a few strategies for people on either side of a privilege imbalance who acknowledge that there is an imbalance. It’s also premised on the idea of intersectionality—that people can have both privilege and lack of privilege across various facets of their lives.

It’s a guide, or at least a set of talking points, for those of us with privilege who want to advance equity, and a guide of what to ask for for those of us with less privilege who need access, resources or survival/thriving strategies.

A few notes:

• This isn’t intended to convince people of the existence of privilege not to explain how its dynamics work. You’re on that page or you’re not, but I’m not going there in this piece.
• This also isn’t intended to split the differences between inherited and acquired (sometimes called ‘earned’) privileges. That’s also for another piece. No matter how you got it, you’ve got it now.??
• This is also not an exhaustive list nor fully cited.?
• It’s not intended as a playbook to solve all inequities.?
• This is not a discussion of morality (right or wrong) or obligation (‘should’).?
• Each of these can, should and/or perhaps already has been written about in standalone pieces. More to follow :)
• I use the term minority a lot in the strategies below; in this case it is a shorthand for "people who have less privilege in a privileged context like company leadership, and who are under-represented there."

Share your network/ask for access (a.k.a. invitations to the club)

If you’re part of a network of people with privilege—including, and especially, informal networks—don’t underestimate the value of inviting others into the club. Yes, that might be the ‘old boys club’ you don’t realize you’re already in.?

In my business experience, most of my large clients came because of a connection via someone else, usually someone with more or at least different privileges than me. Privileged people know and play this game explicitly—the value of a Harvard degree is at least as much about the network and reputation as the education one receives.?

Privileged people also benefit from informal connections they may not think of as a network, like parties they are invited to, people they know through family, or work connections, which have started to become personal. If someone appears different, doesn’t know how to or can’t comfortably navigate those spaces, having a buddy to bring them ‘into the fold’ can help immeasurably.?

Inviting others into your ‘clubs’ isn’t charity—the new perspectives they bring also often benefit the inviter. But it can be risky for both parties involved—the stakes can feel very high for the invited, and the inviter is staking a bit of their reputation. It’s important to be explicit about what’s being offered or asked for, what’s expected, if there is an exchange to be had, and that it’s ok to say no. For example, as the invited, I used to ask if I was just going to be there to observe, or if I should engage fully. The answer often surprised me in—in both directions—but asking gave me a more solid footing and let me know how much social capital was at stake for both of us.??

Step up/step back

Take a moment to ask if you should be speaking. If you are speaking, what are you creating—or challenging—with your words? Could—or should—someone else be saying the same thing or bringing a better or different perspective??

For example, as a white person who works in Latin America and South Africa, when I'm brought on to a stage, I often mention that more local voices (especially women and/or people of color) should be on stage with me, or instead of me. And I also work to find those people and matchmake them with conference organizers, rather than just commenting.?

Rather than this being about scarcity (e.g., oh no, will there still be speaking opportunities for me as a white American?!?) I try to think about this as moving on to other parts of my work, including supporting those people I suggest take my place at the next conference, or bringing other new thinking to the region. And sometimes it’s just that I need to make sure my business and career isn’t premised on me being the only one talking. I also figure that my whiteness and “American-ness” is always felt in the room anyway, and owning that helps contextualize what I do or don't say as being aware of that privilege—which also keeps me humble. I mess this up sometimes, to be sure.

As a minority, we can also step up, in a different way. We can ask to be included, and, if we feel it’s appropriate, draw attention to why our perspectives should be included if they’re not already.?

Talk about privilege

The axiom "if you can't mention it, you can't manage it" says a lot in the business world. Privilege inequities can't be closed without being discussed. If we can't talk about how there are inequities in the room, or in a system, we definitely can't take coordinated action to correct them. This merits its whole own article and also has been talked about a lot, so I won’t belabor the point. One specific thing that isn’t talked about a lot, though, is the word privilege combined with verbs like these:?

• Sharing privilege
• Trading privilege
• Combining privilege
• Amplifying privilege
• Paying forward privilege
• Borrowing privilege

The thing is, white people may talk about dismantling systems of privilege, but they usually, in my experience, won’t do that if they don’t know where they will end up when that’s done. And they want to feel like they are doing something useful with the privilege they do have, because they may also feel like they’re ‘behind’ (thanks, capitalism) or struggling, even if it’s relative.?

While this isn’t necessarily fair (and Lord knows that is a long and often fruitless discussion), it does often work. On the topic of workability: in short, many privilege conversations are easier and more productive, especially in professional settings or other places where the stakes feel high, if they are focused on what works or doesn’t work (for society, for the business, for the team) vs. right and wrong or other moralistic conversations. In the former, conversations about privilege have more room to move towards solutions; in the latter, they can veer towards shame and defensiveness.

Take the following example:?

“It’s not fair that most of the leaders in the company are white men. And it feels like it’s never going to change. What are you going to do about it?”

vs.

“It doesn’t work for our culture that the people in leadership positions have probably not experienced the lives and challenges of either the majority of our customers or the majority of our employees. How can we make a case for diversifying the voices in the room at a leadership level, and make sure the people who are in power hear from those who aren’t so that there is a better chance of informed decision-making in th meantime?”

Corporate-sounding? Yes. A little dry? Yep. Not acknowledging the impact on the personal level? Definitely not. But this tone and approach is probably more likely to move things forward and risks less on behalf of the minority who might be bringing it up. And I’ve been on both ‘sides’—and both tones—of these kinds of discussions.

Helping people with privilege see how they can short-circuit the privilege machine while not being crushed in the process, and also connecting to real people in front of them instead of a hopelessly broken system, ground the discussion in pragmatism and empathy.?

Don't take it with you/ask to be set up for success

Privilege isn’t always portable—or finite.On one level, if you’ve made a lot of contacts at a conference, or have a lot of respect conferred on you in a meeting, think about if you can share that privilege. Sometimes this is on the ‘way out the door’—can you make sure you explicitly indicate your trust in (or admiration of) another person?? If you’re leaving an employer or a board, can you make sure to set up your colleagues (who might have less privilege than you) up for success? This is especially true if you have been ‘sponsoring’ someone but you won’t be there in the future.

On a lifetime or career level, consider the various forms of capital you have; if you own assets, or you have a strong reputation, or have powerful intellectual properties like brands or content, can you transfer that wealth to someone who has less—or at least share it? Tangibly, this could mean something as explicit and measurable as gifting your real estate to indigenous people whom it was historically stolen from, or making that revenue from your monetized content (like books or inventions) goes to a worthy cause/group. It can also mean softer transfers, like making sure that a community you care about is well-connected to others who can support it before you leave (a company, a place, or this mortal coil).???

And as a minority, I’ve leaned into asking explicitly to be set up for success. If a key contact or ally at a client company is leaving, I explicitly ask for them to help me find a new contact, and to not just introduce me but help build the relationship. When people want to ‘connect me’ to someone in a networking context, I ask them to help position me, too—not just facilitate a handshake where someone might then ask for all my pedigrees and other connections to see which box to put me in. These micro-actions make a big difference in the long run. Also, I do explicitly bring up in corporate conversations (like contracting and procurement) that we are a minority-owned enterprise doing social impact work, and ask to be treated well in a legal process designed to stack all the advantages on one side.?

Be with the discomfort/minimize discomfort where you can

As a white person, it’s super-effing uncomfortable to talk about race. I was raised in the context of a white family in a very white town, where people of color were mostly an abstract concept on a television screen, not real people I interacted with, or where their color was either supposedly ignored or where they ‘were just like us’—or worse, their differences reduced only to cuisine. That must have been awful for those people. And it also meant that I had to reckon with the first chunk of my life’s white bias well into adulthood, go through a lot of unlearning, and continue to have to do so because of my early-in-life biases.?

Talking about race and other differences in privilege is often inherently uncomfortable. There are a couple of reasons why this is the case, almost always because of shame, cognitive dissonance or related defensiveness, and lots of other people have explored them better than I can.?

Just because things are uncomfortable doesn’t mean you shouldn’t engage with them. Paradoxically, in my experience, talking about discomfort often makes things less uncomfortable in the long run. (There are certainly exceptions to this, and being able to take social risks is itself a privilege). When I’m on the other side of that discomfort, attempting to be gracious as I walk others through uncomfortable conversations goes a long way. For example, other people’s comments about Queer ‘flamboyance,’ assimilating or assumptions about gender are both hurtful and not productive—but if I then shame people about it or ‘mic drop’ my way out of a conversation, it just causes more shame and rarely results in any kind of transformation. It may even ‘feed the fire.’

At the same time, it’s not minorities’ job to caretake someone who is offending or oppressing them, even if it is sometimes helpful. As a minority, I have to check if I have the energy to engage, and, frankly, enough commitment to see a conversation through to a productive place. My husband recommends the book Subtle Acts of Exclusion for its nuanced treatment of how, as a minority, to choose if and how to walk someone through the impact of what they are doing.?

Don't expect resolution—or cookies

On the privileged side of the coin, one of the biggest fails in the work of navigating privilege is bumping into things—and expecting resolution when something doesn’t go well. The need some white people have to somehow never be uncomfortable is yet another privilege they have (this is part of what, for the uninitiated, is called White Fragility). So I try to remind myself that in trying to navigate and share privilege, I will inevitably mess up even with the best of intentions, and then I will probably want to be absolved of wrongdoing and forgiven for any harm. Of course my inner kid wants forgiveness on the playground, but expecting forgiveness and resolution is not a reasonable adult expectation. Seeking resolution and forgiveness in all things could be preventing transformation, because it leads us to a place of neither taking useful risks nor engaging in the learnings that come from failure (and the feeling of guilt, an adaptive behavior which is not the same as shame). It also puts the onus for forgiveness on the people we have already harmed or who have been systemically harmed. It’s not possible to engage in the deepest forms of #PrivilegeHacking without taking risks, being responsible for the risks we take, and reckoning with the impacts of our behavior.?

Finally, don’t expect ‘cookies’ (rewards) for simply doing the right thing or showing basic respect—especially when it’s something you maybe should have been doing all along. Seeking validation for doing ‘the work’ is understandable, but can end up creating a dynamic where people with less privilege are expected to continue to caretake those with more privilege.?

Be curious

One of the most important skills I learned from my long-time collaborator and former co-CEO Jessica Long is the importance of curiosity. Being curious about why privileges are inequitable, or why someone acts the way they do, or how to change, all can help us build important connections. This is part of what Queer elder Harry Hay called ‘subject-subject’ relationships (where am an “I” and you are also an “I”—a full human, vs ‘subject-object’ relationships where I am and I and the other person is an ‘object’ or ‘it’—the root of othering). It’s also part of the practice of loving which bell hooks described in her Love trilogy, as opposed to a state one arrives at or a thing one acquires.?

Again, this concept merits its whole own piece.

Educate yourself (rather than expecting minorities to do it for you)/educate when you can

Acknowledge that you don't know. And you don’t know what you don’t know. Understanding the experiences of minorities is complex and nuanced, and it’s also hard to guide others through that process—especially if you are the minority being harmed or offended by the person in question.

It is not the job of any one person who is a minority to educate you. And if minorities do want or need to educate you, they should receive something in return—including in the context of capitalism, pay. Consider that, as a person with privilege, you should educate yourself about the various forms of privilege you have, how you get them, and how to minimize harm from them.?

Paradoxically, for minorities, it is often up to us to educate the people around us, even if they are doing harm, offending or being oppressive, because ‘mama ain’t comin.’ But knowing your limits for this work, and how you would like to engage it, and also where it is likely to be effective, is an important form of self-care and survival.

Get consent

I cannot emphasize this enough: consent is vital in the work of privilege hacking. Consent practices for the privileged mean, among many other things,?

• Asking for permission to discuss difference and privilege with others who may have less privilege than you
• Explicitly offering to help and being willing to hear ‘no,’ or that something is needed which you didn’t originally want to or think to offer
• Not taking actions for others without getting their permission, even if you think they would be helpful
• Getting consent for things a system doesn’t say you need consent for, but which humanity dictates you should (such as making decisions for your colleagues which endanger their jobs)
• In general, getting permission to engage in privilege hacking.?

However, when we are on the other side of this equation, managing consent also means:?

• Acknowledging when consent should have been asked of you, even if it wasn’t
• Considering setting firm boundaries when consent has been violated, even if it makes others uncomfortable (always a dance if it risks shaming or angering people who have structural power over you like an employer)
• Checking where you might have not been managing consent with others and owning that (this can be very hard if our own consent is routinely violated)
• Engaging in self-care and self-awareness when lack of consent requires extraordinary emotional labor of you and resisting the urge to compare yourself to people who don’t experience that or? have a ‘thicker skin.’?

There is no conclusion (to this work)

I wish I could wrap this up in a bow, avoid any further discomfort, and pretend that this is all solve-able overnight. It’s not, and for me at least, this first draft of this article is more of a work in progress, just like the work of addressing privilege inequities is an ongoing practice. Please tell me what you would add, change or subtract from this piece, and help me refine and hone it to make a bigger impact, if you feel so called. (And if you’re to argue about whether privilege exists, or insist on ‘reverse racism,’ or other such discussions, this isn’t the venue for that, though I do encourage you to go educate yourself and reflect on why you might feel so riled up.)?

My hope is that this becomes a field guide which helps people begin to navigate and harness the powerful dynamics of privilege to do good in the world, rather than just harm (or to just avoid harm). The rich and powerful already do it, so we should claim those strategies which work for us, and make our own, better ones rooted in sharing power rather than hoarding it. And I hope we can be kind to ourselves and each other in the process.

Please productively contribute in the comments :)

The End/Appendixes/Notes

The context I'm writing from: I'm a cyborg anthropologist and AI/digital fluency educator. In the technology and business domains, where I operate, reversal can mean many things and take many forms. My personal path to equity is about inviting everyone into digital and AI economies, and helping people raise their fluency to make their own minds up about issues like data ethics and AI’s labor impacts. I transparently use the educational needs of my paying clients to fund creation of free educational content for the public (via our site www.digitalfluency.guide). I also try to practice stepping up to use my position of relative privilege to center these issues in broader discussions, and to step back and make room for people of color, women, transfolk and other lesser-heard voices in the business world and on stage. (More on strategies later.)?

My path is imperfect, insufficient, and a practice rather than a destination. I'm open to constructive feedback on it, and I’m always looking for partners and colleagues along the way. My goal is that, especially by the end of my life, I have contributed exponentially more back to the communities and people I have indirectly and directly benefitted from.

This is not an exhaustive list of strategies, nor fully cited (more to follow). Many others have covered those themes far better than I have. Many smart people have already written about these strategies, and I've learned most of these by experience or osmosis. I'll be looking for original sources as I write future pieces, and also welcome recommendations in the comments of articles or other non-promotional sources related to this.