Privilege and Vulnerability

As a certified facilitator of the work of Dr. Brené Brown, I spend a lot of time coaching individuals and training leaders on how to lean into vulnerability (more on vulnerability?here). How to open up, embrace risk and uncertainty and face emotional exposure. This is hard work. Having been on my own personal journey to be more vulnerable for several years now, I can tell you that it is a daily choice (and often a moment by moment choice!) to be willing to listen more than I talk, or admit I am wrong, or that I don't know, or to put myself out there or my ideas forward, knowing they are open to judgment and criticism, all in the name of connection, joy, innovation and growth.?However, leaning in and embracing vulnerability is not equally difficult for all. There are individuals in this world for whom it is not only hard, but?even at times, feels unsafe to be open and authentic.

If I have learned anything in?doing this work, it is that each individual that walks this earth has their own worldview. Each one is unique and shaped by culture, religion, nationality, family of origin, gender, sexuality, education and life experiences. What I have also come to truly own and appreciate is that the more 'majority groups' you belong to, the harder it will be for you to relate to the experiences of others who are not like you. When you have walked through the world safely part of the 'majority', you will have had less practice being exposed to individuals from communities other than your own and your worldview and life choices will not have been challenged as often. You will have been less likely to worry that you would be negatively judged for who you are. You are more likely to believe that your way of thinking, feeling, believing and doing are the 'right' way, it has been reinforced all your life.

I certainly know what it is to fear being judged for what I think or what I do, but I have MUCH more limited experience in being judged for who?I am. That is an entirely different story altogether. So as I continue my journey to embrace vulnerability in my life and to help others do the same, I find myself being very mindful that this 'ask' is not equal for all. For the LGBTQ+ community or BIPOC (black, indigenous, people of color) communities or neurodiverse individuals, they not only have to worry about their ideas not being accepted but about?themselves?not being accepted. That is another level of vulnerable. It is a privilege to feel as if you are safe being vulnerable. When we talk about psychological safety in the work place, we speak to this very point. The question is not only whether people feel safe to speak their mind without being criticized, but do they feel safe to be themselves, without fear of negative consequences.?

While I want to encourage everyone to show up, be seen and live brave, I have to acknowledge the privilege that comes with the ability to fully do that. Being an ally in this context could look like magnifying the voices of world views different than your own, doing your own personal work to recognize your personal privilege and being part of the process to make and create psychologically safe environments for all.

Further Reading that has been inspiring me:

HBR How to Be a Better Ally

You are Your Best Thing - Edited by Tarana Burke and Brené Brown