Private Clients in Glaciered High-Hedged Homes

Private Clients in Glaciered High-Hedged Homes

I have been struggling to find work in the entertainment industry as a costume builder or costume designer for film and television. Since about April of last year, most of the work has dried up because every union is deciding to go on strike; one union after the other.?

Since which time I have decided to start making clothing and leather gear to subsidize any income. And I only have about five clients right now. Otherwise, I sell stuff like cock rings and harnesses and jockstraps on Etsy. Which is not the best Website website! I wish I had my own website that I controlled completely and did not have to pay thousands of dollars a year just to host. But here we are just the same.

I had the misfortune of running into some guy on this website, who told me a sad story about his husband passing away and him needing to have alterations made to a lot of leather gear. Yesterday I had another client who was supposed to come and visit for a fittting of a leather hoodie and motorcycle jacket. But because this person had made this vast promise of numerous garments and out of my desperation to pay rent, I decided to push one client off for one day for this guy. When I reached out to him yesterday, Monday, he said, "no we agreed on Tuesday." I said, "no actually we did not agree on Tuesday we said Monday but if you need to reschedule for tomorrow, that is fine." He said, "thank you. I apologize and I will be there tomorrow. I promise."?

Today is tomorrow. And when I texted him this morning he had no response. It was a complete, no call no-show. I'm sure hairdressers can relate to this better than anyone else!

Then I decided to come on this app, the place where I met this client initially, he was here. Online, trying to hook up.

"WOW" in the subject line. And in the body of the message I wrote, "You have the audacity to be on this website, but you do not have the courage to be a real man."

It has come to my attention that although people are well intended and have great desire to want to be assisted and want to be able to assist others. I've realized that methamphetamines are a hell of a drug!?

I am not want to judge, I have dabbled in the past and understand the allure and the addiction. But the empty promises, the lies and manipulation; leave a very bad in everyone's mouth.?

BE AWARE, this community is not that big. We ALL talk! We all talk about YOU to one another. I'm sure I have been the topic of many conversations in the past for my prudeness or crass nature.

But here I am, sober now, trying to make a living. While other people have complete disregard for your humanity, your existence, and your time. They have no respect for themselves and that is why they have no respect for you.?

Again, I'm going to say it methamphetamines are a hell of a drug because unlike cocaine which has a physiological limit within your body, you can only get so high on cocaine, but you can continuously and exponentially get extremely high on methamphetamines. Please be mindful of that.?

Have fun but respect other people. Don't make the promise you're going to be 'there' if your weekend spilled over into the week. Just say, "let's reschedule" and leave it alone for a little while. It's better than making empty promises.

I've been to many palatial estates that have thousands of square feet of home. Gardens of colonades of statues lining pathways and pools and private cabanas and hidden gardens behind hidden fountains behind hidden Jacuzzis. These palatial estates with high hedges these homes are full of glaciers. The world were enough is never enough. We're running out is never an option. Where addiction never has to deal with coming down! But I have also been inside of apartments where it looks like a house full of furniture has been stuffed. Where somebody spends three hours trying to connect their phone to their TV for the first time - seemingly. On both ends of the spectrum I've only found loneliness. ?

I remember times near the end of my addiction cycle - I had this hookup where I said to myself, "I know this is going to be bad and this guy might not even answer their door, but if I don't do this, and I don't discover it for myself, I will never believe that this is the wrong thing to do." And I went, only to find mylsef stuck standing there on the sidewalk in front of his place, with unanswered calls and unanswered texts and unread messages. I was happy to have had the experience in knowing that somebody was going to let me down and then they did. It told me that some people are only in it for themselves, their satisfaction and their insatiable appetite for more. ?

That's what led me to my sobriety. The constant disappointment and the awareness that no matter where you are on the spectrum of usage, it always leads to the same place. The land of unrest. The sensation of the uneasy desire for more and of continuation, acceptance wheich only ever left me feeling sad. For both my experience, or lack there of, and that of the person or persons with whom I was interacting.