Prioritize this!

Have you been so “forged by fire” that you resemble a medieval chastity belt?

Have you looked for the “light at the end of the tunnel” so many times that you’ve been in way too many accidents?

Putting “one foot in front of the other” is not possible when one is tied to the other, is it?

If you ever do see that “cloud with a silver lining”; you’ll probably have permanent eye damage.

Depending on pain tolerance; someone has always had it “worse off than you”. Am I right?

What is an event that has, almost instantly, just sucked the life out of you?

Now, for some of you, that "event" might have taken a few days, weeks, months or years. Strange, right? However, when you finally realized how profound the experience was; it was then that it affected you. Others had a life-changing event in an instant. I never want to characterize anyone's "event" in a certain way, but we've all had "events". Let's name some:

dog died. car died. spouse died. horse went lame. cell phone got dropped in the toilet. bullied. shamed. lost job. had argument. a long-time friend stopped calling. slammed your hand in a door. cancer. bills piled up. adultery. rape. child died. house fire. demoted. family dispute. abuse. hurricane. cancer. dropped dishes. heirloom broken. lost ring. lost keys. lost...

Many of these events cannot be prevented. They are a part of life. They're what makes us - well, us. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Each of these events is a loss. Each of these losses causes grief. There are stages to grief. Too far too fast? Let's back up.

Loss of:

• life
• property
• relationship
• self
• health
• job
• client
• trust
• freedom
• approval
• safety

The Kubler-Ross Model of stages of grief are: Shock. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Testing. Acceptance.

We conduct drills for fires, earthquakes, tornadoes and active shooters. Yet, we never conduct drills for the events that affect our lives much more regularly than those. Have you ever conducted a "prepare-for-a-loss" drill? No-one has. Yet each of the stages of grief can take but a moment or a lifetime. Yes, you could be stuck on one stage for a lifetime. Many of you reading this may be in that stage right now. Can we actually conduct drills to expedite these stages? Many even skip stages or go through them out of order. Can we plan for the inevitable? Can we handle loss, of any kind, differently? The answer is yes and I would like to share one of a dozens of ways (I'm sure) that this can be accomplished.

Form and write down your personal Vision and Mission Statements. Some may call this their True North. Their Center. Their Compass. Just try it. Figure out what you want your legacy to be. Figure out what impact you want to have in this life. What does that Vision look like? Write it down. Just a statement. Your purpose statement. Then determine what the action items are that will help you achieve that Vision. Those action items become your Mission Statement. 3-5 items, that's all. That Mission Statement becomes your filter. That Mission Statement becomes your BOUNDARIES.

Your filter now allows you to run interference on activities, people or things in your life that will not help you achieve your Vision. Your filter allows you to say NO to things that won't help you achieve your Vision. Your Boundaries will help you stay focused on your Vision.

Your Vision and Mission Statements will allow you to run those drills on life events. The more you hold to your boundaries and utilize your filter; the more at-ready you'll be to handle the events that rock your world. For some, their world can be rocked with a utility being shut off. For others, it's caused by a death. We can't judge why some things affect others the way they do. We can only control how we build ourselves to be capable of what we can do. I have found that I can do a better job of managing both crises and priorities because of my Vision and Mission Statements. Perhaps you can too.

Here are 9 keys to success that I like to share in my Leadership talks:

1. Do it afraid (boundaries actually allow you to do more things that you may be afraid of)
2. Keep short accounts (don't dwell on failures or losses-learn from them and "just keep swimming")
3. Forgive (yourself and others without delay and frequently/forgiveness doesn't mean that trust is rebuilt-don't confuse those)
4. Set boundaries
5. Receive criticism and compliments freely. Filter. Use. Discard. (Keep your eye on your Vision)
6. Be passionate
7. Be compassionate
8. Be human
9. Be Column A (always striving to be the person of your Vision)

Once you establish these things for you personally, they will-I promise-profoundly affect your professional lives and other relationships. I trust these words will help a reader out of a funk. I trust that someone will take control of their life. I trust this will help you to, as Stephen Covey said, "Live, love, laugh and leave a legacy".

P.S. I work on this daily.

If you're interested in this topic for an event, please send me a message.