Principles to Live your Best Life and Succeed in your Career
Jack Kelly
Forbes, Board of Directors Blind, Founder and CEO of The Compliance Search Group and Wecruitr.com, Co-host of the Blind Ambition Podcast
By Jack J. Kelly January 22, 2018 Career Advice, compliancex
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you… you will die one day. It probably won’t be tomorrow or next week, but it will absolutely happen eventually. I probably just lost three-quarters of the people who just started reading this piece. For the intrepid twenty-five percent who are left, you clearly are intelligent, tough-minded, and strong-willed; that is what you need to make it in this world. Also, what you need is a set of core values and guiding principles to keep you focused, grounded, motivated, and heading toward the right direction of your goals and dreams. Without a code of principles, it is too easy to flounder, get lost, and never get anywhere in your life and career. We only have a limited amount of time in this life and can’t squander it on wasteful pursuits that distract you from becoming the type of person you desire to be, and achieve everything you want to accomplish.
It is important to take time to establish your own personal internal compass of life– commandments tailored to enable you to live your best and most rewarding life. You will need to get in touch with your inner core values and work hard at designing, building, and executing a game plan to live your ideal life.
If you are not sure about what the hell I am talking about, currently lack any guiding principles, or devoid of morals and values and need help, here are some starting points:
Treat each day as a new beginning. Don’t get caught up with all the failures from the past. Forget about prior indiscretions, feuds, animosities, or something a family member said to you 13 years ago, that you forgot what it even was, but you still won’t talk with them. This is history. History is over. You are not that person any longer. You are the person living in the here and now.
There are no “what ifs”only “what’s next.” So, you made the wrong choice over which college to attend and chose the wrong major. You got into the job market after the financial crisis. You didn’t have a mentor or get the big break. We have to move on and forget about the “what ifs.” It is a new start. There are so many successful people who made it big later in life. They learned from their mistakes and then skyrocketed their careers. Some people made all the so-called right choices, did well at first, and now are just flat lining. Your life and career are long-term marathons and not sprints.
Be the person you always wanted to be. It’s never too late to become that person. Don’t live to solely impress others or live out someone’s life. Even if you fail, it will be on your own terms as your own person. You don’t want to look back when you are 90-years-old and say you should have done x, y, or z. Do the hard work now to make the 90-year-old you happy and proud.
Follow the career choice that is right for you. Acquiescing to a job or profession because you think it will make your parents happy and get them off your back or to impress your friends is not a long-term recipe for success. You will end up being miserable. As an Executive Recruiter, I can’t begin to tell you how many lawyers that I have spoken with that made their career decision for the reasons mentioned, and are terribly miserable. Find a career path that aligns with your values and suits your skills, temperament, and abilities. Also, make sure you can make a living.
Complaining is a waste of the short precious time that we have. Life is unfair. It’s short and brutal. We die at the end of our movie. Usually, it ends quite badly. Since we all know this, why trouble yourself with complaining and whining. It doesn’t help. It actually makes you feel worse and bothers anyone who listens to you. Accept what you can’t change and spend the time allotted to complaining toward changing what you can change.
Don’t sit around waiting for something to happen. Act. Make something happen. Be assertive and active. You’ll rest in your grave. Make your own breaks in this world. Create your own opportunities. You can’t wait for opportunities to drop into your life. Nobody cares if you fail and nobody will hand you a life. You need build it yourself.
Figure out what you want to do with your life and career. Then, work on the how to make it happen. Spend at least as much time considering your career as you do watching football or binge-watching stupid television shows.
Stop sleepwalking through life. Appreciate what you have. Work toward what you want.
Take time to appreciate the beauty that surrounds you. It could be your spouse, children, friends, a nice spring day, or a puppy. Live in the moment. Don’t spend all your time either obsessing over the past or worried about the future. Enjoy, appreciate and savor the here and now.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Mostly everything is small stuff. Save the worrying for when a loved one has terminal cancer or a real fucked-up, irreversible health situation. Only then do you deserve the right to worry and complain.
Hold yourself to the highest conduct that you set for yourself and do what you know is the right thing to do even if no one is watching.
Don’t put your life on hold for anyone or anything.
Set goals that you want to achieve. Every day, work your butt off toward achieving your goals and dreams. Just moving the ball a little down the field is helpful. Work toward getting one percent better every day.
Carefully consider and evaluate what you’re doing on a daily basis. Expend your time and energy wisely on meaningful endeavors. Don’t be afraid to quit things when you realize that you have mistakenly headed in a direction that does not align with your vision for yourself and principles. Don’t do things for the sake of doing them. Shut off your autopilot and take the steering wheel. Do the things you love because life is too precious to spend it doing anything else. If you don’t enjoy something, then don’t do it.
Discover your passion in work and life. If possible, make your passion a career or business.
Listen when people talk to you. It may surprise you to know that there are some really smart people out there that you can learn from. You already know what you know, maybe you will learn from the janitor, your annoying coworker, the nosy neighbor, or the CEO.
Remain open to constructive criticism, but don’t take it personally or let it stop you. Implement the advice if and when it fits within your goals and objectives.
Stay positive because why not? It’s just as easy as being negative, but is healthier and makes you and everyone else around you feel better.
Don’t badmouth other people or gossip; it’s a waste of time and energy.
Be honest with people or, at least, don’t lie to them.
Be empathetic, understanding, caring and compassionate. You never really know what someone else is going through or had to endure.
Believe in yourself and your abilities. If you don’t have faith and confidence in yourself, why should anyone else? Treat yourself as you would your best friend. You wouldn’t excessively criticize, chastise, fault-find your best buddy, and expect him or her to remain friends with you. Act kindly toward yourself. Have mercy on yourself when you fail, screw-up, and understanding when you do dumb things. This will help build up confidence and happiness, which ultimately leads to success.
It’s too much work to hate and stay angry at people and hold grudges. Forgive those who may have done you wrong in the past. You are better off with more friends and less enemies.
Let go of material attachments. Don’t measure yourself or fixate on social status, fame, wealth or vapid accumulation of shiny objects. Enjoy your possessions, but don’t allow them to own you, or let the pursuit of stuff consume you. Someone else will inevitably inherit them all or they will be sold to pay off inheritance taxes when you die.
Save as much money as you can as early in life as possible. By accumulating a nice nest egg, you can then make career and life choices based on your principles– and not because you have to pay the rent and utility bills.
Extricate yourself from toxic relationships. Walk away from negative, dishonest, disingenuous, phony, disrespectful, hurtful, time-wasting people. Spend time with people who are supportive, loving, caring, and enable you to succeed. Find friends and colleagues compatible with your principles, who are also positive, successful, strong achievers and growth-oriented. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Treat the janitor like the CEO. Try to build genuine, authentic connections with people around you including strangers, friends, family, and colleagues. Try to make deeper and more meaningful connections with people.
Do a kind deed once a day. Help others in need, or people when they least expect it, without reason.
Constantly review and evaluate your life to make sure you are on the correct path. Set aside time for daily or weekly introspection and review session to assess how your pursuit of goals is going. Review your purpose and principles. It is okay if they change as you grow personally and professionally and get older.
Fight back against procrastination, as it is a time-sucking enemy of your plans.
Keep learning, reading, and improving your mind.
Stay away from comparing yourself with others. It will only make you jealous and disappointed. Only compare yourself with who you were yesterday.
Try new things. Get yourself out there. Stop sticking to routines and comfort zones.
Don’t settle. Reach to become the best at what you do. Stretch yourself. For example, what are you doing right now? Is it improving your life? Is it possible to do something more productive?
Set big scary goals. Explore your limits and blow right past them. Keep an open mind for new opportunities and embrace different ideas rather than fear them. Don’t box yourself in mentally or emotionally.
Find mentors and life coaches who care about you and can help you with your journey. Ask them for honest feedback and constructive criticism to help you become the person you aspire to become.
Pay it forward by mentoring others and help them live their best lives too.
If I am wrong about any or all of this, at least you can tell yourself that you tried and took some effort to improve your life and career.
I hope this helps you with your journey toward success.
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Medical Records Coordinator
6 年Awesome reminders on how to live each day, thank you.
Question everything!
6 年I agree with you 1000%.. There is one question, however, that has been troubling me for the last 5 years. I came from old school networking where each of the jobs I obtained was because I knew someone who knew someone else. This worked out great while working in Austin and even had a foothold when I moved to Michigan. After it became apparent that I now work in a global workforce, my small networking group doesn't seem to get me anywhere - even when I have a glowing recommendation from the past owner of a radio broadcasting empire. I don't have the ability to travel, but I have tried to join as many groups as I can find online. If you take into account the number of people on any social media format, you're looking at 100s or 1000s of people. How can someone possibly hope to stand out? I've gone so far as to send emails to some of the most influential people I know (which is kind of like expecting to get a personal response to an email from President Trump). Filling out 100s of Indeed.com applications and working with any number of recruiters doesn't work either - you might as well be playing craps in Las Vegas. I would like to hear any advice you have that can allow me to make an impression in a world of nameless faces.
Consumer Banking Executive | Int'l Personal Banking | Products | Credit, Operational and Regulatory Risk Compliance
6 年absolutely great!