Prince's Diamonds & Pearls #173

Idolization

You probably don’t suffer this delusion, but evidently so many people around us seem to. There is a celebrity idolization. Just because someone can successfully shoot a ball through a hoop, we expect them to be successful at business decision and have upstanding ethics. Because someone can throw a football well, we expect them to be wise about crypto investments and nave informed and nuanced political views.

Because someone can act, dance, or sing we expect them to be a great parent and great leaders in the community. Because someone can hit a golf ball far, we expect them to be loyal and faithful spouses and never say anything foul or offensive. Because someone is great at tennis, gymnastics, or swimming, we expect them to have no mental or emotional dysfunction. And most certainly to never complain. If they do just once, we cancel them; everything about them is expunged from society.

“How dare they? Don’t they know they’re a role model?!”

There was a time when rapper, Lil Wayne, was arrested for drug possession. In an interview, the interviewer asked, “What do you say to the young people out there who look up to you, who look to you to know how to live their own lives? What do you say to them?” His reply was “If you need a rapper to tell you how to live, maybe you’re not living right at all.”

Ain’t that the truth? No matter if you meet a celebrity, athlete, site manager, business executive, politician, YouTuber, or Social Media influencer, there’s a way to not leave disappointed from your interactions. Don’t expect them to be anything but human. Expect to be magnificently flawed and widely dysfunctional humans, just like the rest of us.

If you’re dialoguing with a respected and admired business leader, and you find out that they’re a terrible parent or a crappy friend, what you must do is learn all you can about how they do business and don’t take any advice from them on parenting and friendship. Look for and focus on the 10% of their life where they have achieved extraordinary success and disregard the other 90%. By the way, dwelling in the other 90% is either very ordinary or sometimes less than ordinary, possibly terrible.

What everyone else mostly do is over idolize someone because of their 10% and if something is discovered/disclosed about the 90% that is less than ordinary or maybe even terrible, people now choose it to cancel the extraordinary 10%!

Can these two things coexist? Can being extraordinary in one area of your life and terrible in another exist at the same time? The answer is a resounding yes. Of course! That’s what it is to be human. If you want to see a vivid example of this illustration, then look in the mirror!

Likely you’re extraordinary at something. It may not be on the same level as celebrities and masters in the field, but it’s extraordinary, nonetheless. You’re also probably terrible at other things (If you ask my wife, she’ll say that I couldn’t multitask to save my life. ??). Does it make the thing that you do extraordinarily well any less extraordinary? The answer is a resounding no!

There isn’t a single person on earth that you will agree with everything about them and every aspect about how they’re living their life. Not a single best friend. Not a single mentor. Simply find and focus on the percentage that you really admire and respect. To expect otherwise would be idolization. It would be suggesting that the person is somehow inhuman, immortal, paranormal, or divine. The action would be ignorant, and it would be ignoring the fact that they’re human.

1. Don’t Idolize Anyone

You can appreciate. You can be inspired by. You can learn from someone’s 10% in that one area that they’re extraordinary for sure.

2. Don’t expect them to be anything more than human in the other 90% of their life

They’re fallible just like you and I, trying to figure out how to navigate and make it in this crazy world. Expect them to be wonderfully imperfect and to screw things up here and there, just like we do.

3. Outside that 10%, don’t take any advice from them.

They shouldn’t tell you what car dealerships to go to, what restaurants to try, what shoes to buy, what perfume to wear, what handbags to carry, what liquors to drink, or what insurance carriers to use. Learn from others but MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS FOR YOUR LIFE.

Have you been guilty of idolizing someone? Were you let down because you held them on a pedestal? Which person do you need to remove the “perfect” status from? Who do you need to begin seeing as wonderfully imperfect? Share in the comments below.

References: Avoid This Terrible Society Trap by Darren Hardy